Hello my WordPress family I am here today to give a quick update on my situation. Since the last time I posted we have checked on the place that we used to stay, the trip unleashed an influx of emotions at the sight of our once beloved humble home. Considering the damage we will have to replace everything in our home. We didn’t have much but we were living comfortable within our means prayer is needed not only for us, but all those who are affected by Hurricane Laura. When we final went to the home to access the damages we were overcome with shock, and disbelief at how much was destroyed by this storm. Typing this I have tears in my eyes I am met with uncertainty, and a longing for a taste of normalcy we will have to relocate and honestly it leaves us with a feeling of edginess, and unpredictability. God tested many people in the Bible. He testes us all, and the Words that are written are ALIVE, and SHARP we must live these scriptures out day by day, hour by hour, and second by second. During this time I am also not working, and I also had to take a break from school due to my circumstances we are in the process of looking for a new home so that our baby will have a safe place to lay his head. Please Pray for all individuals affected to receive supernatural miracles and divine provision from God you never expect that something like this will happen to you until it happens. I will keep my head up, and keep a positive attitude, because surely my Redeemer lives and He is able to supply all my needs. (Job 19:25 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:) 💖💝
This is a time of faith. This is a time that people need to help those who need help. This also is a time to see the Hand Of God upon our lives. New beginnings, and a deeper intimacy with Yahweh.
Email me at DivinelyDelivered30@gmail.com for any updates 💙
Proverbs 29:25 kjvThefearofman bringeth asnare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe
Growing up in the type of home I grew up in a lot of things were out of order.The way God was represented was out of order instead of Him being displayed as loving and caring He was used as a tool for my abusive, and narcissistic mother. Looking back on my childhood I thought that my mother was right, and in the back of my mind I felt that she knew what she was doing I figured that maybe God did hate me and I was doomed to perish. This thinking lead me to a life of confusion, and darkness quickly flooded in growing up I was robbed of my self-worth and my self-esteem this lead to fast-paced living. You see when I was 17 my mother in one of her fits kicked me out on the streets I ended up at a homeless shelter then I was living pillar to post.
I experienced a lot when I was homeless, and was exposed to a lot that I wasn’t ready for this includes: drug use, alcoholism, violence, and fast paced sex. You know all those things the world tells you is “okay” I did these things because I was looking for something or maybe someone to love me it really is true that a child is shaped by their environment, and how you affirm them either destroys them or builds them up. It leads them toward a path of destruction or a path of victory. The devil knew what he was doing I had been attacked since I was a small girl the first time my mother beat me the breaking process started, and it just kept going downhill ever since.
One thing I have learned about Yahweh is that He is merciful and He takes care of us even when we aren’t even aware of how much darkness we are in or apart of. Only Jesus Christ can RESTORE us. Jesus Christ has delivered me from a life of drug use, alcoholism, porn addiction, masturbation, homosexuality, lying, fornication, adultery. To be honest everything that Galatians 5:19-21 tells us is a WORK OF THE FLESH you see me DEDEE I am NOT PERFECT I HAVE SINNED and I will most likely sin again this is why we must repent daily because we all fall short of the glory of God. His Word says “There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10).
If you don’t trust in Jesus, then who is your trust in?
If you don’t have hope in God, then who do you hope in?
Did you know in 2017 862,320 babies were ABORTED? Do you know God will JUDGE this Abominable thing!!! DO YOU KNOW GOD HATES HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD?? DO YOU KNOW THESE BABIES BLOOD CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE???!!! DID YOU KNOW 42.4 MILLION BABIES WERE KILLED BY ABORTION IN 2019??? WHERES THE OUTRAGE OVER THIS??!!!
Yes, COVID is here but is your house in order? Are you seeking God like you should? Who can restore you? JESUS CHRIST. Who can save us? JESUS CHRIST. Who can redeem us? JESUS CHRIST. That is who I am leaning on! Not Trump, not the government, not this fallen world I place My HOPE IN EL SHADDAI!
Proverbs 29:25 kjv Thefearofman bringeth asnare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe
Time is running out folks. If you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior I suggest and highly recommend you too. Repent today, open your heart to Him. He is waiting for you with open arms He wants to be your strong tower He does not wish for any man to perish. He redeemed me and He can redeem you too. IF you LET Him. You do not want to be left unprotected during the tribulation May God have mercy on us all.
Thank you for allowing me to see another year on this earth. I do not understand your plans for me but I do understand that if I am still here it is for a reason and for Your divine purposes. Life is hard and sometimes it is scary but I thank You Lord that I have You! You are a Good Shepherd and You look after and protects what’s Yours. Lord I pray that my life is filled with Your goodness and Your kindness and Divine Favor in Jesus Christ name I pray, Amen 🥰🥰😇👑👸🏽👰🏽
After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.
Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside. When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement. They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.
Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:
You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.
They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!
FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!
This Spring made three years of me going no contact with my family that includes everyone in my family I remember that day in Spring in 2017 I had just gotten out of a psych ward (that my mother helped put me in) when we returned home my husband and I had no money, and little food I also lost my job during this time. I was left dealing with pieces of my broken, and unstable spirit I felt betrayed, alone, and unloved on many levels I also got the answer to the question that often plagued my mind my whole childhood “Does my mother love me?” I knew after this experience that if she didn’t truly hate me she sure acted the part that’s when reality sinked in.
Before going no contact I was on a roller-coaster trying to decipher truth from lies I was a smoker, and a marijuana addict who sometimes dabbled in alcoholism trying so hard to blend into a family that seemed to do me more harm than good. I was trying so hard to heal that broken, and abused girl in the best way I knew how with fleshly desires she had so much trauma that she figured God could never love her.
In 2017, I suffered a major demonic attack as I’m typing this message I’m sure you are facing something too, we all are but during this time in 2017 I seen demonic things, heard demonic things, and I seen the depth of how lost and demonically controlled my family was how much hatred my mother actually held for me and how much resentment she really had towards me (for no reason). I understand now that it was just a cover up for how jealous she was of me my family exploited me, abandoned me, had others laughing and mocking me. I even walked in on her calling the hospital to come get me and pick me up to take me away.
I felt scared, and confused my mother claimed she knew Jesus but after this experience I seen how far away from the truth she actually was. She had no truth her conscious was seared with a hot iron her and everyone else in my family they were like anchors keeping me under water not allowing me to float to the top in order to keep from drowning. Three years. The breaking point for me was when I got out of the mental institution( a hotbed for demonic activity different story, different day) my family never called, never checked up on me NO ONE CARED I felt so alone and ashamed going through the incident that I just experienced.
As I stated before we had nothing no money, no food, and I lost my job. So I did what any child would have done I called my mother to ask for help when she answered the phone I could hear the disgust and distain in her voice my heart was beating out of my chest (over 40.00 mind you). What started my no contact decision was when I went to go pick up the money that I wanted to borrow from her and I seen an awe inspiring look of demonic evil and hatred on her face it was like she hated the fact that she had to lend her mentally broken daughter a hand. It made me so upset how she acted like I done her something wrong in reality I was just breaking down from the years of abuse that she took me through a lot of things bubbled to the surface.
After that day in 2017 I left my family alone I changed my number shortly after I then started my journey towards Christ. I dealt with my own demons some that I let in and others that were passed to me through trauma. Going no contact has given me a feeling of liberation, and it has freed me from the chains of maternal narcissism (Jezebel family system) like many children who grow up in this type of environment you may carry around repressed anger. Little things may trigger you to go back into a child’s safe mode, self-hatred is normal for you and you will feel either resentment towards God or refuse His love on the account that you were never shown love properly or in a healthy way.
Deciding to walk away doesn’t mean your weak it just means you need to heal it just means you decide to honor Jesus correctly. Should you stay in a dysfunctional family system that is out of order and robs you of your God given purpose? A system that is against God? I am still on my healing journey I find myself some days feeling inadequate I rely on Jesus daily to take away my shame, and anger only HE can do that. This process doesn’t happen overnight but it does get better once you submit to His will over your life I deal with depression sometimes, but I praise God because NOW I know this is a trick and tool of the enemy to keep me distracted from my God given purpose, and calling the authority He gives me through Jesus Christ.
Many of us will come to this point in our spiritual walk (especially when dealing with toxic family member) that Jesus means more to you than your struggles and pain from abuse. Jesus says in Matthew 10:37-38 kjv
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Whats your cross? Only you know that. I deal with the feelings of not having a family that loved me, not having a mother to validate me. Other vices that sometimes permeates through. But I have an advocate His name is Jesus Christ (1 John 2:2 kjv) There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus we do not praise and worship Jesus Christ based off our righteousness but His.
God knows how many tears I have cried and he knows how many you have cried also.
Psalm 56:88Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?
The world takes up for it’s own, but God protects what is His don’t stay around and in the cycle of abuse it will only leave you feeling empty and angry at God (I struggled with that Praise God for deliverance)
Just meditate on these scriptures
1 Peter 5:77Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. [when you feel anxious]
Psalm 27:1010When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. [when you father and mother abandon you or they are abusers}
REMEMBER! The devil attacks the strongest in the bunch not the weakest