I ran across a Chinese proverb it said,” After all, harming others means you first harm yourself”, when I read this it struck a cord with me because I am a vict(or)im of abuse. I am going on three years no contact with my family, and at this point in my journey I am on a path of understanding, and discarding all the negative memories that are embedded into me. Some days are okay, but a lot of days are great they are great because I am discovering the person I was before the abuse began. If you ever met anyone who was open enough to tell you about their abusive childhood they will tell you that the abused robbed them physically, mentally, emotional, and SPIRITUALLY.
My purpose wasn’t made clear to me. My abuser didn’t have a purpose that she was aware of hell, it was stripped from her so why not strip it from someone who isn’t capable to perceive what was actually going on around them? Make your victim a dumping ground for all the anger that you refuse to acknowledge is there also make them the main source of supply, because instead of getting proper healing they will instead choose to pass the baton of wickedness known as abuse. She robbed me of years but going no contact helped me see how toxic my mother was, and how demonically controlled my family is and how she really berated me to the point that I lost sight of who I was before I even became whole.
It takes some victims of abuse years before they see the light at the end of the tunnel, and decades before they leave the tunnel. I didn’t start healing until I left completely and many victims never see results in healing until they leave the toxic situations. Some days I feel lost, and other days I feel strong one thing I have learned on this path of healing is you shouldn’t judge yourself based off of how your abuser treated you. Your not dumb, your not stupid, your not evil but you were abused and it’s not your fault you won’t be held accountable for what your abuser did to you but you will be held accountable for how you let it make you. For the longest time after I stopped associating myself with my family I was bitter, I felt lost it wasn’t until I actually separated the abused me from the real me that I seen that I am loved, I am wanted, and I am adored. I didn’t need my mothers approval because she didn’t even know how to approve herself the only approval that I need to obtain is Yahweh The Most High God.
You are a survivor of abuse. You will be a conqueror of abuse. I choose to let my past strengthen me. I choose not to let the abuse that I suffered in my childhood change me as a person. I will still love. I will still encourage. I will still push forward. I will still reach for The Most High Yahweh. And I will still receive the healing that Christ gives me. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4
Until Next Time