Why I changed my number, and how He changed my thought process 🕊️💝

It finally set in, they don’t know me; they don’t know us victims of narcissistic abuse normally walk around with a rain cloud over their heads. They live life like an ostrich with its head in the sand (they ignore and hide from obvious signs of danger small or large). Like oil sticks to your hands even after you wash them over and over again, so does the wounds from abuse they prick your heart like a thorn on a rose, and it damages you the same it damages spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Victims are normally plagued by these demons long after the abuse has stopped(or they went No Contact with no closure) they often detach from their surroundings, and more than often they feel like they can’t tell their closest friends,spouses(or anybody) about the symptoms that has plagued their thought processes throughout the years even if the abuse is long over.

“The aftermath of abuse leaves you feeling alone, and isolated the victim often feels like no one will understand them or ever love them for them.”

But I’m assuming your asking yourself (I thought she was talking about her changing her number, or didn’t she say she was telling us why she changed her damn cellphone number?) Let me reiterate, they don’t know me, they never knew me, and they don’t deserve to get the chance to know me one thing the Most High Yah help me realize on my healing journey that He so mercifully sent me on is my abusers/enablers/flying monkeys/abuser supporters don’t know me(the real Dee). They also don’t know you, just sit down for a moment and think about it they only know a false image projected onto you, it’s funny now that I think about it. I told my FM sister (three years before I finally got fed with the Narc family structure) that she didn’t know me… she kept implying, insisting, and ranting that she did all the while she had a glazed, dazed, and confused look on her face. A couple of things that the Lord has put in my spirit is “Just because you grow up in the same household as these people doesn’t mean that they know you they would like to THINK they know you.

SAME HERE TOO

When the stark reality hits you that you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, or any type of abuse in reality you shouldn’t be sad, hurt, or angry. He said “Rejoice!” Rejoice because your abusers knew, and seen you were strongest out the bunch not led captive by their web of deceit they seen you as the one who could break their mirror of deception, and fight the lies that they want to imprint in your mind and spirit. Not being casted into a spell of wickedness, but rather escape to walk onto that narrow path of RIGHTEOUSNESS. He whispered into my heart (my mind my spirit)”They seen the purity in your soul Dee, the unquenchable zeal in your eyes Dee, and they heard the courage beating from your pure heart”. Your abusers are so envious that they couldn’t obtain the very traits that the Most High blessed you with from birth, they couldn’t rob you of it, so they wanted to blind you of it. Luckily, the Most High shall exalt us above our abuse.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Stay Humble, Be healed, ACCEPT His Happiness! Because Yahweh Shammah cares for us!

-Glory be to God

I changed my number, because I’m tired of the lies they tell me, I’m tired of pretending everything is okay, and they didn’t hurt me. I’m tired of seeing blocked calls come up from abusers, and enablers who just want to barge into my life to control it and to patronize me. I’m SICK of seeing fake text messages as if they really care about me. It wont ever be the same, and oddly enough they know that, but I don’t give a damn if they DO OR DON’T because I know it wont be the same I’m not the same person anymore. The same little girl who accepted abuse, and pushed her own feelings,and emotions into a garbage can. Now I’m child of the Most High, a wife, and a mother how did the Lord change my thought process you may wonder? He helped me understand that all they want to do is STEAL from us, STEAL our happiness, STEAL our healing, STEAL our families that the Most High gave us. They want to KILL the new man, and bring back the old one who tolerated their abuse. But isn’t there a scripture for this scenario?…….

“Yeah we are OVERCOMERS”

Thank you so much for reading my blog, May the Most High bless you on your path to healing, and recovery. Be Blessed. Until we talk again next time.

-Dee🙏🏾

Tales from Dee-(Let the Breaking commence) 🤐

The earliest memories I have of my narc mother includes abuse, as far back as I could remember all my memories that I think back on all rotate around abuse it’s either physical, mental, and even spiritual abuse. Little info on me I’m in my mid 20s,married and I’m a first time mother(yay me). Life is life everything is going smoother all thanks to the Most High, reading other people’s stories has cracked open a spectrum of emotional angst that must be released. Released to someone who hasn’t escaped, but they are methodically looking for a simple way out.

But the biggest emotion I feel right now as a survivor is closure, closure from what’s been done to me,closure from the burden that was placed on me from a early age. To understand the thesis behind why I view my experiences as a burden let me take you back in time to 2000( I was six then). My NM had just got out of prison for being what she called a “drug queen pin“,so while skimming through articles, YouTube videos, and others blogs we all know that Narcs LOVE GRANDIOUSITY even if the position the put themselves in is a devious one. They thrive to want to look superior, its how they live how they get their supply, how the Narc builds their image. Okay (I tend to drift off sometimes sorry) back to 2000 I had just moved in with my mother (she was in prison from the time I was a baby till six I had spent my former years with my father) When my mother got out of prison she went on a quest to retrieve all of her daughters to make sure she raised them all, she had a new man by this time.I remember being in my room, and hearing my narc mother in a rage she was going on, and on about how someone drunk out of her new beaus(enabler) strawberry slushie from sonic(route 44 happy hour special). She then called all of us into the kitchen, and made up line up with extension cord in hand she looked at us so enraged while saying out loud “Who drank his slushie, y’all better tell me now, or all y’all getting a whipping”

“Is it that serious?”
We wont grab a belt we will go straight to the whipping extension cord

I didn’t drink it, hell at six I didn’t even know what a slushie was but in my kid mind I figured that she was just using a tactic for the truth to come out. (Like really who gets that mad over a strawberry slushie) both my sisters stood there both claiming that they didn’t drink it, and my Narc mom didn’t let up she was persistent in her quest of putting down her brute punishment. It was like in each breath she got more, and more of a rush to exert her authority over us. Like a hangman’s with a fresh rope in her hang waiting for the criminal to be led to the gallows, finally after so many minutes of standing there hearing the bickering, hearing the dysfunction(about a slushie that I didn’t drink, or know where it came from). I finally said I did it, just to save all of us to free us from this matriarch of a woman with a fire in her eyes, it turned out to be a stupid mistake on my part because my mother beat me with every inch of my six year old life. I remember her going around me in a circle and taking that cord(like the one in the picture) and beating me with it I remember curling up into a ball so my little face wouldn’t get scarred; I remember crying so hard from the pain I felt how hurt I felt that this woman who was my mother had just drug me on the kitchen floor and beat me over a damn strawberry slushie. When she was done I touched my arms, and I had welts all over them all over my body, me being six I couldn’t imagine why this was going on, but little did I know it would only get worst.

A broken feeling then started to take route in my spirit that day because this is the moment that my narc mother started to break me like a glass plate shatters on a hard wooden floor, so did I on that day in 2000,when she beat me for the first of many times. Down a rabbit hole of sheer abuse, terror, and anguish at the hands of a alcoholic mother who over the years I was gonna see her mask eventually slip off. And the toxic scars of abuse that she would not only leave on me but also my three siblings. That brings to mind a quote that I ran across…….

“There is beauty in pain, strength in recovery, and happiness in healing”

Until Next Time on Tales From Dee, Talk to you Guys later 📤💙

Drumroll….Please?🌸

“Just a friendly introduction”

Hey! Let me just take a moment out to welcome you to my blog! Let me introduce myself my name is Danyah or just call me Dee (short && sweet). I’m making this blog to open up about my struggles, experiences, and healing from narcissistic abuse. I also wanna talk about the side effects that can occur from it the spiritual, emotional and mental effects that can leave a person with lifelong scars that can leave them feeling alone, scared, and confused. But of course, the healing that is taking place in my life comes from The Most High Yah (God) Christ is the ONLY one who can help any of us heal from this TOXIC abuse, and its effects. I’m just here to lend a ear, and to hopefully have a ear hear my stories, and to walk with me on this road to recovery. Because as His Word says,(“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;) –Isaiah 61:1

“John 8:36”

People need to be more aware of narcissistic abuse, we need to spread as much awareness about this topic as possible. Sadly its more than often swept under the rug (in many cultures, and also in society). The abuse that I endured in my childhood still affects me till this day, some days are better than most and I thank The Most High for that. Narcissistic abuse is an epidemic that tramples down households, it breaks up marriages it ruins families relationships(in my case mother/daughter relationship) Being the Scapegoat you often feel very isolated from the world, you also have this shame that you carry with yourself all the time. So why is this abuse so normalized in society? I have the tendency to feel like in the black culture its tolerated even more so.(I’m black also). The good news is I’m well (WE) are breaking out of this prisoners hellhole of ABUSE, WE ARE SURVIVORS, WE ARE OVERCOMERS,WE ARE CONQUERERS!! ALL THANKS TO THE MOST HIGH GOD IN HEAVEN. Because Christ is the One who sets the captives free, and whoever the Son sets free…… is free INDEED.!!!

❤
“Much Love to all who suffering, and are also on the road to recovery from this abuse”