🕊️The Pain that comes with going No contact {Abuse Awareness}

Link to my YouTube https://youtu.be/qZGI5jkKiQQ

After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.

Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside.  When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement.  They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.

Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:

  • You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
  • To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
  • If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
  • Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.

They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!

FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!

If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

Unforgiveness is Rooted Bitterness 🌱🌱😞

Hebrews 12:15-17 kjv

Hebrews 12:15 KJV Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;


Link to my YouTube channel https://youtu.be/F6ote2GhvmA

As a child who grew up in a abusive household I developed many unhealthy spiritual habits, and one MAJOR thing that I struggled with was unforgiveness it infected me like a cancer and I felt that I didn’t need to forgive my mother because after all she never acknowledged her wrongs. The older I got, the more I experienced hurt at the hands of my family and also others that I met I felt as though if my mother didn’t love me how can God love me? Was forgiveness necessary for me to walk with Christ? Was the hardest decision in my life actually more easier than my flesh made it feel?

I can attest that in order to have a successful relationship with Jesus Christ you MUST forgive EVERYONE even when it HURTS. Unforgiveness is actually a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21 kjv) it leads to hatred and gives you a ticket straight to hell.

Our relationship with God, is built on forgiveness when we repent of our sins we are also asking for forgiveness in order to have a relationship with God. Jesus tells us in Mark 11:26: But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses kjv.

In order to experience true freedom and healing from the shackles of abuse and spiritual defeat one must be willing to forgive wrongdoings that was done to them NO MATTER how much it hurts. I know it hurts but love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8 kjv) I love Jesus Christ more than I love my pain and hurt He frees us from the bondage of bitterness.

The longer I held on to the past the more bitter I got. We have two choices in our healing process to get bitter or better.

Sit and reflect on these things:

  • Is holding in hurt and resentment worth your eternal soul in Hell? Are you justifying reasons you shouldn’t forgive someone who has wronged you, are you letting your flesh get in the way of TRUE deliverance?
  • Is your relationship with God based on an actual relationship of true love, and repentance? Are you just covering up your bitterness with empty praises and clinging to unforgiveness while slowly sinking into anger (works of the flesh)?

Bitterness is a seed that gets planted at a early age and it springs up slowly and by the time you realize that you have a problem you are in hell regretting and wishing that you would have came to Christ for healing. Most bitter people do not realize they are bitter, they are cynical they are deep rooted in the flesh and many of these people think that they are Christians. As true followers of Christ we must deny ourselves (Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.)

Abuse is my cross and denying myself means that I put anger and resentment(bitterness) far from me. I will follow Christ because only He can give me deliverance, healing, and most of all LOVE. I choose not to walk in the flesh, but I will walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16 kjv This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.)

Repent for the kingdom of God draws near! Whatever wrong that was done to you please give it to Jesus He will handle it. True freedom come from forgiveness because it allows you to place your FULL Faith (trust) in God it leaves justice to Him (Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the LORD.)

Unforgivness puts up a wall between you and Jesus a wall so high that you wont be able to experience His love, and the freedom that comes with it.

FORGIVE, REPENT, AND BE SET FREE!

God is Healing 🕊️

I almost had a relapse today. I thought about all the things I went through in my childhood and how abuse made me feel so dissociated with reality. I knew this was an attack from the enemy I must be close to something that God has in store for me, and that’s my healing. People who grow up in abuse or those who become entangled in abuse often struggle with identity crisis, and most if not all tend to think that God has forgotten about them. Today I was honest with Jesus, and I told Him how I felt. How long does it take to heal? Is healing a everyday process? I am starting to believe it is everyday I must seek to be renewed and not conformed to the world, and also not letting my past dictate me.

I will stand on His Word, I will be unafraid. I’m tired of being flaky I understand now that my flakiness is a result of the trauma that I went through in my childhood. It causes me not to trust easily, it causes me to run from everyone including my Creator it leaves me with permanent fig leaves that I want removed. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of hurting. I just want You Lord to Heal me I just want to be grounded in You and Your Love. Please Lord be my Yahweh Rapha, I know you will only be if I allow you too. Remove these fig leaves from me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.{♥}

I chose to stand on this, In Jesus Christ name AMEN!

Apart from Christ…. I’m Nothing💍

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? (Psalms 8:4 kjv)

The older I got the less I knew about myself. Abuse, life, drugs, and this world had took its toll on me I felt misunderstood and misplaced in a big world with no identity to call my own. I seen how my past affected the way I looked at Jesus (He revealed it to me in a dream) how I viewed Him as an image of a corruptible man the more I seeked the less I knew, the less I knew the more realized that I needed Jesus. Not the cookie cutter Jesus that so many referred to because it looked good on paper no I wanted the REAL thing I had to have the REAL thing.

What are we? That God loves us so much. He is so mindful of us and the thoughts He thinks towards us is good and not evil. He is our Creator, and He holds each and every one of us in the palm of His hand I am truly blessed to be chosen by God to be saved by way of Jesus Christ. How beautiful is our great God!! And how His mercy endures, how when we were still sinners Christ died for us isn’t that such a heart warming thing? We reject love a lot of times because we DON’T know love the world has conditioned us with a water down version on what love should be. Materialism, vanity, pride, lust, the list goes on and on…….

We are in the end of days. Time is drawing close for Christ to return! Don’t be left in the dark. The trumpets are starting to blow, many will be left behind and many don’t believe(just like in the days of Noah). My hope is that whoever is reading this blog post repents and seeks Jesus Christ all it takes is this:

Acknowledge that you are a sinner

Repent for your sins and Ask God for Forgiveness

Ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. Ask the Lord to come into your heart as Lord of your life. 

Believe that He died and He rose & Get in the Word & Stay Connected to God.

I hope this Message finds you well. May God bless you and Keep you!

Philipians 5:17-19 says, ” Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the spirit.”

Witness Wednesday: Self Hatred

Recovering from my childhood trauma has taught me many things, but one thing that has stuck with me is that it was better for me to go to Christ when I was broken rather than going to Him when I figured I was “whole”. For a long time I struggled, and some days I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy I often have self-hatred come in to try to take me captive the more I dealt with these feelings the more I realized that I changed God into this same image that I projected onto myself.

Why do we as humans do this? Why do we anker Christ onto feelings that we feel about ourselves? Resulting in us burning bridges before they are built. Will we ever be good enough? That depends what is your definition of “good”? Have you defined good as a state of perfection that cannot be made manifested in a fallen society? Are you willing to accept that Christ loves us unconditional no matter what, and despite the fact we weren’t good enough He still died for us. Resulting in you accepting His offer by changing how you see Him seeing His sacrifice as a reason on why you should be good rather than why you need to be good.

Everyone deserves to be loved, it’s the hallmark of a humans existence what more can a person ask for? Question is, Do you allow God to love you? Or do you push Him away with your own feelings of self-hatred? When people speak of God do you imagine hatred or do you see love manifested on the cross?

Hebrews 4:15 kjv

Maybe you think I’m foolish because I believe in Christ. Honestly I don’t care what you think, but I will tell you this I’m a BORN again sinner whose in a battle just like you. I’m tired of fighting with my own carnal devices I’m choosing to stick to a Savior who understands my weaknesses and that my fellow reader is where I get my strength from.

We all fall short, it just depends on what you do once you get up……

Witness Wednesday: Volume 1

Sabbath Songs: Yahweh Rapha 🌈🎁

The Elohim Who Heals

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

He takes old things and makes them new.

The Lord is my buckler, and He is my shield so I shall have no fear.

He is close to those whom He holds dear.

My soul cries out because it misses You dry my eyes Lord, I need You.

Your eyes are upon those that love You.

Your grace wraps around those that trust You.

Why fear man? When the Great I AM has a plan!

He parted the Red Sea. He came down and died for me.

So, I will dance for the Lord because He keeps me safe from harm.

Great is His power! Great is His Love! Great is the Most High God above!

Help us Lord finish the fight until the end. Strengthen us El Shaddai to understand that we win

Heal me Lord, thou art my praise! I will praise Thee until the end of my days.

  • Selah

Sabbath Songs Vol: 2 Song to sing on the Sabbath. May Christ Keep you warm. ❤

Poem to My Love💍👰🏽 🤵🏽 🤞🏽

Ready or not Christ is coming for His bride. Are you ready?

Dear Most High,

Oh My! How time flies.

Just yesterday I was seven now I’m wishing I was in Heaven

I want to go back home, and be in Your Holy zone

Oh how I wish I could call You on my phone

When I think of You I don’t feel alone

When I think of You I know I belong

I belong to You I can trust in You

A Hope? A Future? Truly I have that with Thee

Because I know the Most High God wont leave me

Nor would He ever Deceive me

Praise The Lord His Mercy Endures

Praise The Lord For His Power and His Might

Praise The Lord Because He has won this Fight

I love You Christ Thank you for Redeeming Me

Thank You my Elohim for your tremendous mercies

Hold me Lord, Keep Me Safe

Take my Heart and wrap it up Safe.

Oh! Isn’t the Lord Good, in all His Mercy He is victorious

Dedee has His Glory in her story

Dedee wants to be in God’s House

So daily she will cry out

Cry to the Lord! He shall Redeem

Because I know over me He sings.

Praise The Lord for the Blood He shed! Amen