The Reason You feel Guilty after Abuse 😥

Isaiah 61:3 -To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.

2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.

Ecclesiasticus 4:21-22 For there is a shame that bringeth sin; and there is a shame which is glory and grace. 21 Accept no person against thy soul, and let not the reverence of any man cause thee to fall.”

Youtube Video: https://youtu.be/xFcj_Q6jiGY

Guilt can manifest in many different ways. Guilt is defined as a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, or wrongdoing whether real or imagined. In this blog post I wanted to talk about why victims of abuse feel guilty after abuse in this post I will talk about reasons based off my personal experiences with abuse and trauma. Everyone is different, and we all process life and experiences differently I believe by sharing our outlook, and testimonies we can help others heal and motivate them to seek a meaningful relationship with Yeshua who is the ULTIMATE healer and deliverer. ❤

I recall in my childhood how I always felt guilty. I felt alone. I lacked confidence. I often felt ashamed. Going on four years of no contact I understand all too well the pains, and perils of feeling guilt if a child is not raised in a household that centers around Yahweh’s love and Words then the house will quickly become a den for demons. My guilt arose every time someone asked about my mother, and when I replied that we were estranged they would rise up quickly to dish out their semantics of how “life is too short”, and that “you only get one mother” and the famous line “Honor thy mother and father” people are quick to downplay the abuse that was inflicted and are more than willing to make you feel guilty even though they do not know you, or the abuser that they are taking up for.

Guilt would always come rushing in time, and time again I would let people who didn’t even know me and the horrors that I endured at the hands of my mother dictate how I should view the abusive relationship. Because after all it wasn’t abuse it was “love” that hurt it was “love” that left me in a former shell of myself hating not only myself, but also the abuser who inflicted the pain and torment upon me. As time went on after going no contact and forming my OWN relationship with Yahweh Rapha I had to reprogram the way I saw not only Him, but how I also looked at myself I grew to understand that people are quick to speak on topics that they have little or no knowledge on. As survivors of abuse we have to not let what others say get to us, after all it’s easy to speak on something when you don’t have first hand experience on the issue at hand.

I felt guilty because I left instead of staying. My guilt arose from not sticking it out maybe things were gonna get better surely my mother loved me she just had a demonic way of showing her love for me. Guilty that I wasn’t loved properly. Guilty that I couldn’t make my mother love me. Guilty that I didn’t even have a connection to my mother was something wrong with me? My guilt arose because I didn’t live up to societies standards of family, and how you should stick by them NO MATTER WHAT. My guilt arose because I chose to walk away from all of them rather than stay and keep silent on the suffering that I was experiencing if I would have stayed no doubt I would have been a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I felt guilty because I didn’t wanna give my abusive mother the worship, and praise that she required of me I chose to give it to Christ My Adonai I felt disconnected from my mother and I felt like I had to work for her love rather than receive it naturally. I looked at her like my enemy rather than the one who nurtured, and cared for me my guilt came when I tried but nothing ever worked I tried to repair a burned bridge, but I felt like in order for that bridge to be built I would have to DIE for it to be repaired.

Jeremiah 12:6 For even thy brethren, and the house of thy father, even they have dealt treacherously with thee; yea, they have called a multitude after thee: believe them not, though they speak fair words unto thee.

My guilt left when I began to understand that Yahweh called me out of my broken family system for a reason. My purpose is to let others know that it is okay to cry, and that Yahweh sees what they have done to you. It is not your fault that you were born into a damaged family, you were only targeted because you are the strongest one in the family system. You are the truth teller, you are the one who will shine light in the midst of the darkness. Your guilt subsides once you take acceptance towards the situation. Accept that the abuse that was afflicted upon you was unnatural. The way the abuser treats you is unnatural (parents are supposed to love children not hurt them, and patronize them). What happened to you shouldn’t have happened, we can’t stay in the past if we are trying to move towards a better future with Christ.

Luke 9:62 62Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Everyone won’t understand, and that’s okay it doesn’t mean that they are bad people they just aren’t part of your tribe. You don’t need no one to validate that harm has been done to you. The Most High KNOWS all and SEES all. It takes a strong person to acknowledge that they had abusive and unloving parents and it takes an even stronger person to bow down before Christ and ask for healing, and deliverance because a situation like this requires Divine Intervention from The Most High God in Heaven.

It’s hurtful when the ones who are supposed to love you the most hurt you the most. It’s confusing, and troubling when the ones who are supposed to nurture you abandon you. Once you let go of false guilt (that comes from the devil) you will have no problem telling your testimony, and you won’t care if people believe you or not. Did I want to leave? No, but 4 years ago I felt that it was the only choice that I had and if I would have stayed would I be the same individual now? I highly doubt it.

Don’t worry Yeshua knows our struggles, and knows what you have been through. Don’t play limitations on His abilities. There is GLORY in your STORY. So tell it, share it, and most importantly bear it.

Love,

Dedee, A Victor in Christ and of Abuse. 🌹💪🏽

Running from the Shame of Abuse 🏃🏽‍♀️💨

  • Observe the circumstances that are happening to you (You must notice that the relationship is abusive and toxic to your health)
  • Beware of evil (Be Aware of the evil around you. Be cautious and alert of those you surround yourself with KNOW YOUR ENEMIES)
  • Do not be ashamed if something concerns your soul. (If something worries you; makes you anxious especially if you have a reasonable reason as to why you feel the way you do don’t dismiss those feelings.)
  • For these is a shame that bringeth sin; and there is a shame which is glory and grace. (A person’s shame can lead them down a path of sin which can turn into varies addictions to mask the pain of the shame that they feel. Or the shame that they feel can lead them to turn to Christ and taking up their cross shedding their old man and going against everything that they were taught.)

Someone who has been abused knows what it’s like to want to run away. Wanting to run away from the toxicity. Wanting to leave the toxic environment to escape the pain that they feel.

In the beginning an individual often runs from the shame of the abuse they suffered. I know I used to run I lived in denial, and I felt that maybe my mother did love me but just in her own “special” way. When you run from shame you will look towards other things to soothe your pain (drugs, alcohol, sex, food etc.)

But when you run towards Yahweh with your shame, He will give you beauty for your ashes. Only He can give you glory and grace working in us and making us a new creature that turns pain into praise because He will never leave us nor forsaken us.

(Isaiah 61:3 – To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.)

And once this happens you will become a living and breathing testimony of deliverance for El Shaddai. Your pain will be transformed into praise. Your pain will become power that can and will be used against your enemies.

That is where the enemy knows the real power of redemption lies in our testimonies of YAHWEHS FAITHFULLNESS AND LOVINGKINDNESS. We are the proof of His love and His healing. Therefore, the enemy aims to keep you shame-faced and downtrodden. Shame can either bring you defeat, or you can use it to your advantage to move forward to have a deeper and loving relationship with The Highest.

The more your around toxic people the less you see El Shaddai’s plan for your life. The less you see His plan for your life the more you lean on outside forces that contribute to you adding more shame to the shame you already feel. Losing sight of your true purpose in this life. What Yah has called you to do.

This is why our Savior told us in John 10:10- The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

Yahweh wants us to have life, and to have it more abundantly. We must realize that the abuse inflicted on us was not our fault the environment we were in was sick in order for one to properly heal they must leave the environment where they first became sick. Shedding off the old man, and becoming a new creation in Christ.

Asking Christ to be your Lord and Savior takes away the shame of the abuse that was afflicted on you along with the weight and burdens of the pain you feel. Repentance plays a HUGE role in healing. The closer we get to Christ the more that we realize that He alone is our saving grace, and that nothing can separate us from His love and that when our mother and father forsaken us He will take us in. Only Yahweh can turn a broken person whole! Ask me how I know? Listen to my testimony on surviving abuse. Tell me if you can relate. 🙇🏽‍♀️

Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSU-iSYmXfqemLdgGTFj1ng

Thank you for reading! May Christ Bless you and Keep You always

Dedee ❤

Benefit of the Doubt or Just Tolerating Evil?🤔

Check out my youtube video on this topic (I go more in depth): https://youtu.be/2hVShzhZATc

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/danyah.dee.9

Paypal: http://www.paypal.me/DanYahDedee

Email me anytime: divinelydelivered30@gmail.com

We have to use righteous judgement in whether we should give someone the benefit of the doubt or if we are just tolerating EVIL. Growing up in an abusive household warps our sense of judgement, and makes it difficult in separating good from evil.

Forgiveness of sins should NOT BE CONFUSED with tolerating evil.

You can forgive someone and not engage with that person. There is a proper way to do ALL things.

Start your healing today call on Jesus Christ to heal your broken heart! You do not have to be a VICTIM! BECOME A VICTOR!!!

He is near to those of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:18

Yahweh’s Love & Redemptive Power[My Living Testimony]

Proverbs 29:25 kjv The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe

Growing up in the type of home I grew up in a lot of things were out of order.The way God was represented was out of order instead of Him being displayed as loving and caring He was used as a tool for my abusive, and narcissistic mother. Looking back on my childhood I thought that my mother was right, and in the back of my mind I felt that she knew what she was doing I figured that maybe God did hate me and I was doomed to perish. This thinking lead me to a life of confusion, and darkness quickly flooded in growing up I was robbed of my self-worth and my self-esteem this lead to fast-paced living. You see when I was 17 my mother in one of her fits kicked me out on the streets I ended up at a homeless shelter then I was living pillar to post.

I experienced a lot when I was homeless, and was exposed to a lot that I wasn’t ready for this includes: drug use, alcoholism, violence, and fast paced sex. You know all those things the world tells you is “okay” I did these things because I was looking for something or maybe someone to love me it really is true that a child is shaped by their environment, and how you affirm them either destroys them or builds them up. It leads them toward a path of destruction or a path of victory. The devil knew what he was doing I had been attacked since I was a small girl the first time my mother beat me the breaking process started, and it just kept going downhill ever since.

One thing I have learned about Yahweh is that He is merciful and He takes care of us even when we aren’t even aware of how much darkness we are in or apart of. Only Jesus Christ can RESTORE us. Jesus Christ has delivered me from a life of drug use, alcoholism, porn addiction, masturbation, homosexuality, lying, fornication, adultery. To be honest everything that Galatians 5:19-21 tells us is a WORK OF THE FLESH you see me DEDEE I am NOT PERFECT I HAVE SINNED and I will most likely sin again this is why we must repent daily because we all fall short of the glory of God. His Word says “There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10).

If you don’t trust in Jesus, then who is your trust in?

If you don’t have hope in God, then who do you hope in?

Did you know in 2017 862,320 babies were ABORTED? Do you know God will JUDGE this Abominable thing!!! DO YOU KNOW GOD HATES HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD?? DO YOU KNOW THESE BABIES BLOOD CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE???!!! DID YOU KNOW 42.4 MILLION BABIES WERE KILLED BY ABORTION IN 2019??? WHERES THE OUTRAGE OVER THIS??!!!

Yes, COVID is here but is your house in order? Are you seeking God like you should? Who can restore you? JESUS CHRIST. Who can save us? JESUS CHRIST. Who can redeem us? JESUS CHRIST. That is who I am leaning on! Not Trump, not the government, not this fallen world I place My HOPE IN EL SHADDAI!

Proverbs 29:25 kjv The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe

Time is running out folks. If you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior I suggest and highly recommend you too. Repent today, open your heart to Him. He is waiting for you with open arms He wants to be your strong tower He does not wish for any man to perish. He redeemed me and He can redeem you too. IF you LET Him. You do not want to be left unprotected during the tribulation May God have mercy on us all.

Deliverance From Dysfunction {💌} Testimony included **

Link to my youtube: https://youtu.be/Lei8RdYyghM

Until recently I was not honest with myself. I lied to God and I also lied to myself. I decided to investigate the mirror, and I accepted that the abuse afflicted on me left me with scars. Deep scars that turned into major issues. Issues that permeated to the top every now and again. You see I reached a crossroad where I could not let nor afford to let my past keep me prisoner, I did not want to be a hostage to pain anymore. I figured I was okay, and the damage caused was not that serious. I have come to realize that being alive is more than just breathing. God wants us to experience Him in many ways and to see how much love He really has for us in ways that we have not known. I was broken, disheveled, and I lost my sense of self. Who was I? Where was I going? Does God love me? What exactly is love?

I reached a major point in my relationship with Jesus and I couldn’t bear it anymore I told him how I felt I told Him how I was scared, how hurt I was, and how I wanted Him close but I was anxious. You see, I was never honest with Him about how I truly felt about my mother I just pushed all my feelings down so far that when they did resurface I would shut down and become flaky, flighty, and apathetic towards everyone including myself and towards my Savior and Redeemer Jesus. It was revealed to me that I developed a hatred for my mother, a resentment towards my childhood and a strong distain towards people who dismissed my feelings as mere imaginations and something that I should just get over.

My hurt led to hatred, which resulted in bitterness which resulted in me hating myself and doing things that not only affected others in my surroundings but also myself. The best thing I ever did was accept it I accepted the fact that I was abused I was done wrong, and that people who haven’t went through what I went through will not empathize with me nor give me the sympathy that I so desperately crave. Only Jesus can do that, and only God will allow that. On that beautiful day when I came under attack from not only the enemy but also my former self, I decided to pick up my CROSS.

When I think of my mother, and others who also have similar stories what is the end result? Will we as survivors or victims keep the cycle going, or will we deny ourselves? Jesus suffered and died on the cross for nothing He did wrong. So, who are we? I learned on that faithful day that life isn’t fair, and interestingly it isn’t supposed to be if it was fair or “perfect” we wouldn’t need Jesus, now would we?

You have two options, but one choice. You can be a victim who turns into a victimizer, or you can be a victor who leads others to victory and that is Gods plan for us. You see, I just recently (like a week ago) understood how much Yahweh loves me. Jesus knew how I felt towards my mother (and family) He was waiting for me to be honest with Him, and to tell Him how I truly felt, and I won’t lie when I told Him how I truly felt I felt a HUGE burden get lifted off my spirit.

That is when I felt our relationship began to blossom into something deeper. When I began to open my heart to Him.

As His Word says, “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you”. {1 Peter 5:7 kjv}

Jesus Christ knows everything we have been through, and He also understands how we feel. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet he did not sin”. {Hebrews 4:15 KJV}

The point of me telling (writing) my testimony is this: Tell Jesus the truth, your soul depends on it.

May God bless you and keep you on your healing journey. DanYah “Dedee” ❤

🦋Jesus Christ Changes You

We all are going through transformations. Are you going towards the Light or the Darkness? Time is running out. Seek the Lord while He can be found.

Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:6 KJV

God is working on me, and He is working on you

I know it hurts, but its the truth

Always seek the Lord in your youth

With Christ I gain, when pain comes I stay sane

He holds my umbrella while I’m in the rain

I don’t get this life, how sometimes it’s not right

But you my Lord did a major sacrifice

You died for me, so that I may have mercy

Lord! I sing to thee, because I love thee

Lord, I love You. My Lord I choose You.

Life is hard. The world isn’t free

But I praise My King Jesus! Because He has SET ME FREE 🌼

Hallelujah !!!

Come! Let us praise the King for eternity 🌼

🌼 A Beautiful Reminder 🌼

One of the things that I have learned from my abuse is that abuse makes your forget who you are as an individual. You have to throw away everything that your abuser said you were. Rely on Christ to help you figure out who you are! Your past doesn’t define you! Think of it as a refining period that The Most High used to make you BETTER, STRONGER, and WISER. You never know who your STORY will help. Sometimes running doesn’t mean your weak sometimes you have to leave a toxic situation to see the true manifestation of God’s Divine Healing come into play. I have more blog post coming soon. May God Bless you and Keep you in Jesus Christ name I pray !

Apart from Christ…. I’m Nothing💍

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? (Psalms 8:4 kjv)

The older I got the less I knew about myself. Abuse, life, drugs, and this world had took its toll on me I felt misunderstood and misplaced in a big world with no identity to call my own. I seen how my past affected the way I looked at Jesus (He revealed it to me in a dream) how I viewed Him as an image of a corruptible man the more I seeked the less I knew, the less I knew the more realized that I needed Jesus. Not the cookie cutter Jesus that so many referred to because it looked good on paper no I wanted the REAL thing I had to have the REAL thing.

What are we? That God loves us so much. He is so mindful of us and the thoughts He thinks towards us is good and not evil. He is our Creator, and He holds each and every one of us in the palm of His hand I am truly blessed to be chosen by God to be saved by way of Jesus Christ. How beautiful is our great God!! And how His mercy endures, how when we were still sinners Christ died for us isn’t that such a heart warming thing? We reject love a lot of times because we DON’T know love the world has conditioned us with a water down version on what love should be. Materialism, vanity, pride, lust, the list goes on and on…….

We are in the end of days. Time is drawing close for Christ to return! Don’t be left in the dark. The trumpets are starting to blow, many will be left behind and many don’t believe(just like in the days of Noah). My hope is that whoever is reading this blog post repents and seeks Jesus Christ all it takes is this:

Acknowledge that you are a sinner

Repent for your sins and Ask God for Forgiveness

Ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. Ask the Lord to come into your heart as Lord of your life. 

Believe that He died and He rose & Get in the Word & Stay Connected to God.

I hope this Message finds you well. May God bless you and Keep you!

Philipians 5:17-19 says, ” Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the spirit.”

Sabbath Songs: Beauty in the Rain ☔🌈

Glory! Glory to ye Christ!

Praise the Savior, He is nigh

I have so much love for my King

So much love that He makes my soul sing

Yes! There is beauty in the rain

So much beauty in your pain

As someone once said “, No pain. no gain”.

After the rain, comes a rainbow gain

A beautiful rainbow comes from the clouds

Shout Hallelujah! And shout in loud

This my darling surely is true, in Christ these is neither greek or jew

Why my Lord do you dry my tears?

Why my Lord do you wipe away my fears?

I’ve done so much wrong to thee, I praise You Yah for Your mercy.

So much beauty in my rain, So much of Your glory in my pain.

“My Glory in your story”, He whispers to me.

Beauty in the rain, there’s no more pain

Trust in Me my love and I will set thee free

Like a bird from a cage no longer will you be a prisoner during the end of days

“Real rainbow that I seen” Praise God!

Only put your hope in Christ! He hasn’t failed you once or twice.

Sabbath Songs: Songs to Sing on Sabbath

🌈Embrace your beauty in the rain. Always Praise Him through the pain.🌈

Selah 🌈

Sabbath Songs: God be Merciful, To Dedee A Sinner.🙇🏽‍♀️

Lord, the world doesn’t believe Your real

It doesn’t matter because I can feel

Change my soul, please make me whole

I want my name in the Book of Life, I long for the days where we will be without strife

Sometimes it looks so grim, somedays I feel as though I won’t win

I look to Christ , and I acknowledge His SACRIFICE what He did on the Cross

How He kept my soul from being lost

The world laughs, the world mocks a lot of people will surely rock

Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess

I will put my trust in You because that’s BEST

Glorious King! You shall come, Let us all praise The Risen One (Christ)

Please Be Merciful to Dedee A Sinner, I trust that You Lord will make her a winner.

She will tell her story, because it’s drenched in Your glory.

Thank You Lord for Loving Me!

Praise You Christ, for staying near me.

Selah 🌸

Sabbath Songs: Volume 3 Songs to sing to Yahweh on the Sabbath