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The Dangers of A Toxic Childhood ✋🏽☣☢

Ecclesiastes 7:7 Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart.

Ecclesiastes 7:7 kjv.

Unacknowledged childhood trauma leads to problems in a person’s adulthood if left unchecked and not properly healed. By the time an individual understands that they were raised in toxicity they will either keep the cycle of abuse going (they will go on to abuse their children, coworkers, friends, spouse etc.) or withdraw from themselves taking residence in the sunken place not knowing who they are, or understanding what’s going on around them.

I personally believe (I am speaking from experience) that childhood abuse/trauma damages the way a child sees The Most High God if trauma is left unresolved and not healed this can leave a person feeling inadequate and can cause them to run from God (rather than to Him) fearing that He will abandon and neglect them like their toxic family did.

The Bible says to train up a child in the way that he should go (Proverbs 22:6). What happens when a child is trained up in toxicity? Molded in resentment, and lacking healthy qualities given to them when they are nurtured in a safe environment. The effects can be very detrimental to a individuals growth spiritually, mentally, and emotionally matter of fact, it warps not only how they view themselves but how they also view God. Once the individual gets healthy healing (yes there are unhealthy ways to heal) they will start to understand that love is an action word rather than a word said to use, and abuse a person at will causing confusion and turmoil through means of manipulation, and deception.

As we get older, we need to learn to distance ourselves from those who radiate, or even entertain negativity. The Bible says that those who cause divisions manipulate those who entertain it by smooth talk (manipulation) and flattery (deception) they deceive the hearts of the simple.

Romans 16:17-18 17Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. 18For they that are such serve not our LORD Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.

A simple-minded person (in this case) is someone who rather “go along to get along”. They are the people in this type of dynamic who cannot understand or grasp the insight that they are being deceived and manipulated. They either participate willingly or they do not understand that their abuser is an ABUSER in my experience they are enablers and will turn on you in order to maintain a false sense of peace.

God is NOT the author of confusion (1 CORINTHIANS 14:33) but of peace. Just know where envying and strife is there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16) and this can go on ANYWHERE! Toxic environments are riddled with demons and you must know that if your getting attacked or you feel shaken in this environment then The Most High has chosen to call you out of darkness and into His marvelous Light (1 Peter 2:9)

The child that was/is abused must realize that God is not like man better yet that Yahweh’s love does not come with sorrow but we must realize that any godly sorrow will come with repentance (2 CORINTHIANS 7:10) that will lead us to a closer relationship with Abba Yah. Any sorrow from this world leads to death. If someone is giving you love that comes with sorrow then this is NOT LOVE. We must not be afraid to give Yahweh our hearts He alone can heal us, He alone can deliver us, and He alone can redeem us. We must serve Him know that at the end everyone will have to give account of every idle word(Matthew 12:36), and evil deed that they have done to others.

And that is the most beautiful part of this whole story what people fail to realize is that they will give account to their actions they will have to answer to El Shaddai for EVERYTHING they have done. The pain they caused, the lives that they ruined that’s why its best to leave it in God’s hands because after all He did say “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. (Romans 12:19 kjv).

Just Remember Healing is a EVERYDAY THING, not a once in a lifetime event.

Love,

DedeeisDivinelyDelivered 💖🌼

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Overcoming Feelings of Inadequacy 💪🏽🙌🏽

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Feeling inadequate can be a result of a lot of factors for some it is the type of clothes they wear, the type of house they have, or maybe the type of job title they hold. During early development, a child is learning so much, and during this time a child starts to form an opinion on how they view themselves and others. In fact, feelings of inadequacy can take root during a person’s childhood when a child receives negative messages about themselves indirectly, and directly. These negative messages about themselves can be from parents, teachers, or others whom the child sees as significant.

In my case the feelings of inadequacy weren’t so complex I wish it could have been because of materialistic lack, but I knew that my feelings of lack stemmed from my childhood upbringing. Imagine my horror when I realized that the feelings of inadequacy still followed me into my early and late adult hood. I felt unworthy of God’s love, and attention I changed the image of Yah into my abusive mother and enabling family members. I would cringe at the thought of Him loving me I felt as though I was a burden, maybe I was a mistake? Getting in the way of His will. So many teachings, so many men who I perceived were closer to The Most High more than I could ever be. I could feel myself becoming a bit legalistic scared of Him not love, but a fear that made me feel unworthy to even send Him a prayer.

The Bible is full of people who felt just like me. Inadequate. Moses, Gideon, Jeremiah, Peter the list goes on, and on. I look at Peter, and some of his characteristics remind me of myself matter of fact I look at Luke 5: 8- When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O LORD. With a display of supernatural power this gave Peter proof of the Father’s omniscience and omnipotence through The Lord Jesus the Christ. With it comes Peter’s realization of his own inadequacy, which he conveys by falling “down at Jesus’ knees, saying, ‘Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!‘” Peter realizes that he had been faithless, and just like Peter I myself (and I’m sure you too) can relate to this verse.  

Jesus then goes on to tell His newfound disciple to Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.” (Luke 5:10 kjv) He affirms Peters and lets him know to fear not and from that moment on he will become a fisher of men, a worker of righteousness. In spite of Peter’s inadequacy God chose him. He looked past his inadequacies and seen Peter’s potential because when God sees us He doesn’t see our inadequacies, but He sees how we are adequate for His plan, and how we can be used for His PURPOSE. Despite our past, despite our failures The Most High sees the untapped potential that is trapped inside of us waiting to get out how does He know it is there? Because HE PUT IT THERE!

In my experience the first step to overcoming feelings of inadequacy is admitting that you are fearful and realizing that you are broken and that you need Yahweh’s healing touch upon your life. Yahweh Rapha the Lord who Heals you, who restores you. What was I fearful of? I was fearful of rejection not just from man but also from The Highest. Apparently, the cuts from my childhood cut me deep so deep that I developed strong feelings of inadequacy I would always feel like I wasn’t good enough condemning myself to hell for any little mistake that I made I caused a lot of pain to not only others but also myself before I realized that I was a product of childhood abuse and trauma.

This is not the last time where we see Jesus telling us to fear not matter of fact Jesus tells us in Matthew 10:31Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

We are of so much value to God that we cannot even fathom the things that He has in store for us once we begin this journey. He does not want us feeling inadequate that is why He gives us grace because His power is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). Truth is God was never looking for perfect people He is looking for those who will perfect His will, a willing vessel who will go against the grain to walk the narrow path of righteousness. So why feel inadequate? Why feel as though you are not good enough? He knows your condition that’s why you were chosen.

 He makes all things new, and when your in Christ you are a new creation besides all have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Not some, but ALL.

Besides, I am realizing that it is not my strength that I need to operate off of but Christ’s strength. I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me, and this includes overcoming my feelings of inadequacy, and throwing away the lies of my childhood and destroying the works of the enemy. I will serve God despite my insecurities and inadequacies truth be told no one is perfect, and I have come to respect the fact that I will never be, but Yahweh loves me even though I am not perfect. This is due to the mercy that He has available to me and His mercy endures forever. He cannot go against His character and I don’t expect Him to because He changes not. Everyday we are learning, and everyday we are changing some for the better and some for the worst at the end of the day it’s up to you to chose sweetness over bitterness.

Thank you for reading! Get past feeling inadequate it doesn’t get you nowhere! May God Bless, keep, and Heal You in Christ Jesus Forever ❤

Dedee

10 Reasons You Should Go No Contact from Toxic Family in 2021! 🥳

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  1. You realize they use scripture as a weapon and often MISQUOTE IT to make you submit to their evils. Everything they say and do goes against the Word of God and when you do point this out to them, they take it as your trying to be “holier than thou”, or that you think you are better than them. The Word allows you to see through them and they do not like that. (Example: They are QUICK to throw up the 17-year-old you when you are 32… or they tell you that since you are not honoring them you will die early, but they leave out how parents should not provoke their children to anger)
  2. When you need help you are often ignored, mistreated, or made to feel like a burden you are often the one who gets called upon when others need assistance. Your help is always wanted if not EXPECTED. (Your questions and concerns often get dismissed as useless complaints.)
  3. Dealing with your toxic mother, father, siblings etc. takes more out of you than you can bear you often have a pensive attitude towards them. (Pensive definition- feeling sad while deep in thought) You often question yourself as to why your family treats you so bad, when you really do not do anything that contributes to their abuse questions turn into tears that fall down your face.
  4. When you have approached your family members about the toxicity, and dysfunction they sweep it under the rug, and downplay your concerns they typically take up for the abuser(s) and throw them a pity party to make your feel stupid for even questioning their evil.
  5. The more you think about your childhood, the more you realize that you were set up for failure. Family prized demoralized behavior, and worshipped abuse under the guise of love. You were not taught about real world values to help you succeed as an adult.
  6. When you try to get your life right (Examples: Getting closer to Yahweh, getting off drugs, going to school, eating right and working out, getting married and starting a family etc.) They do all they can to destroy any ounce of positivity in your life it is like they sit back and devise plans to destroy your happiness they frown on you making righteous decisions ESPECIALLY if you are moving into a direction where you will NO LONGER be dependent on them. (Which leads me to number 7)
  7. They want you to be dependent on them so that they can control you, and the moment when you show any ounce of independence instead of being happy for you (like any healthy person would be) they do all they can to destroy your progress. (Examples: telling you that you will fail, cursing you (my mother did this to me), starting fights with you, turning people against you with lies and speculation)
  8. They do not want you to grow, and when you do show signs of growing, they have no problem showing you how jealous and envious they are of you. (All the while making comments about how they are not jealous of you)
  9. As you get older you start to realize that they do not know you at all. They take more from you than they give. Your kindness is often mistaken for weakness, and love is replaced with angst. (Angst- a feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity.)
  10. They never take accountability for their behavior, they never own up to their mistakes, and they are quick to blame YOU for the pain that they afflicted on you. **WARNING- THIS IS A MANIPULATION TACTIC STRONG WITCHCRAFT. (Example: When I was 17 my mother kicked me out on the street, and I was living in a homeless shelter (that she dropped me off too) she would always tell me that it was my fault that she kicked me out and she had to do it because I was destroying her home, I would then feel bad, and apologize along with blaming myself for being homeless.)

Yahweh’s Love & Redemptive Power[My Living Testimony]

Proverbs 29:25 kjv The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe

Growing up in the type of home I grew up in a lot of things were out of order.The way God was represented was out of order instead of Him being displayed as loving and caring He was used as a tool for my abusive, and narcissistic mother. Looking back on my childhood I thought that my mother was right, and in the back of my mind I felt that she knew what she was doing I figured that maybe God did hate me and I was doomed to perish. This thinking lead me to a life of confusion, and darkness quickly flooded in growing up I was robbed of my self-worth and my self-esteem this lead to fast-paced living. You see when I was 17 my mother in one of her fits kicked me out on the streets I ended up at a homeless shelter then I was living pillar to post.

I experienced a lot when I was homeless, and was exposed to a lot that I wasn’t ready for this includes: drug use, alcoholism, violence, and fast paced sex. You know all those things the world tells you is “okay” I did these things because I was looking for something or maybe someone to love me it really is true that a child is shaped by their environment, and how you affirm them either destroys them or builds them up. It leads them toward a path of destruction or a path of victory. The devil knew what he was doing I had been attacked since I was a small girl the first time my mother beat me the breaking process started, and it just kept going downhill ever since.

One thing I have learned about Yahweh is that He is merciful and He takes care of us even when we aren’t even aware of how much darkness we are in or apart of. Only Jesus Christ can RESTORE us. Jesus Christ has delivered me from a life of drug use, alcoholism, porn addiction, masturbation, homosexuality, lying, fornication, adultery. To be honest everything that Galatians 5:19-21 tells us is a WORK OF THE FLESH you see me DEDEE I am NOT PERFECT I HAVE SINNED and I will most likely sin again this is why we must repent daily because we all fall short of the glory of God. His Word says “There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10).

If you don’t trust in Jesus, then who is your trust in?

If you don’t have hope in God, then who do you hope in?

Did you know in 2017 862,320 babies were ABORTED? Do you know God will JUDGE this Abominable thing!!! DO YOU KNOW GOD HATES HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD?? DO YOU KNOW THESE BABIES BLOOD CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE???!!! DID YOU KNOW 42.4 MILLION BABIES WERE KILLED BY ABORTION IN 2019??? WHERES THE OUTRAGE OVER THIS??!!!

Yes, COVID is here but is your house in order? Are you seeking God like you should? Who can restore you? JESUS CHRIST. Who can save us? JESUS CHRIST. Who can redeem us? JESUS CHRIST. That is who I am leaning on! Not Trump, not the government, not this fallen world I place My HOPE IN EL SHADDAI!

Proverbs 29:25 kjv The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe

Time is running out folks. If you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior I suggest and highly recommend you too. Repent today, open your heart to Him. He is waiting for you with open arms He wants to be your strong tower He does not wish for any man to perish. He redeemed me and He can redeem you too. IF you LET Him. You do not want to be left unprotected during the tribulation May God have mercy on us all.

🕊️The Pain that comes with going No contact {Abuse Awareness}

Link to my YouTube https://youtu.be/qZGI5jkKiQQ

After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.

Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside.  When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement.  They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.

Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:

  • You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
  • To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
  • If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
  • Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.

They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!

FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!

If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

Sabbath Songs: First Fruits🍇

Let’s praise the name of our Lord!

Let’s give glory to the King. He is the First of the Fruits!

Praise Him for His glory and His might

Praise Him for His great sacrifice

Oh Lord! I have fallen in love with thee

I shall praise You for all eternity

As I write these words to You, I pray that they shall remain true

Holy! Holy! Is my God, Hallelujah! Praise Abba Yah<3

I sit and think of thee, Oh my Lord my soul longs for thee

I pray I see You soon, I pray for Your Holy commune

The bride needs you Christ, while the world isn’t suffice

You my Lord holds us in Your hands, even though we cannot see how much of your grace is in this plan

YOU! are my ONLY source, You are my shield let me always remember to remain still

You are my Savior and Yah’s begotten Son, I shall always recite Psalms 91

You are the only One that keeps me safe, Please Lord give us grace.

Thank You Jesus for The price you paid at Calvary. As we sit and reflect on You during this Holy week. Lord I love You and I praise You. No one amounts to You and no one is like YOU! I love You Christ Thank You for being a Good Shepard over Us. Hallelujah

Feast of the First Fruits!!!! Praise El Shaddai!

Sabbath Songs: Beauty in the Rain ☔🌈

Glory! Glory to ye Christ!

Praise the Savior, He is nigh

I have so much love for my King

So much love that He makes my soul sing

Yes! There is beauty in the rain

So much beauty in your pain

As someone once said “, No pain. no gain”.

After the rain, comes a rainbow gain

A beautiful rainbow comes from the clouds

Shout Hallelujah! And shout in loud

This my darling surely is true, in Christ these is neither greek or jew

Why my Lord do you dry my tears?

Why my Lord do you wipe away my fears?

I’ve done so much wrong to thee, I praise You Yah for Your mercy.

So much beauty in my rain, So much of Your glory in my pain.

“My Glory in your story”, He whispers to me.

Beauty in the rain, there’s no more pain

Trust in Me my love and I will set thee free

Like a bird from a cage no longer will you be a prisoner during the end of days

“Real rainbow that I seen” Praise God!

Only put your hope in Christ! He hasn’t failed you once or twice.

Sabbath Songs: Songs to Sing on Sabbath

🌈Embrace your beauty in the rain. Always Praise Him through the pain.🌈

Selah 🌈

Sabbath Songs: Yahweh Rapha 🌈🎁

The Elohim Who Heals

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

He takes old things and makes them new.

The Lord is my buckler, and He is my shield so I shall have no fear.

He is close to those whom He holds dear.

My soul cries out because it misses You dry my eyes Lord, I need You.

Your eyes are upon those that love You.

Your grace wraps around those that trust You.

Why fear man? When the Great I AM has a plan!

He parted the Red Sea. He came down and died for me.

So, I will dance for the Lord because He keeps me safe from harm.

Great is His power! Great is His Love! Great is the Most High God above!

Help us Lord finish the fight until the end. Strengthen us El Shaddai to understand that we win

Heal me Lord, thou art my praise! I will praise Thee until the end of my days.

  • Selah

Sabbath Songs Vol: 2 Song to sing on the Sabbath. May Christ Keep you warm. ❤