Until recently I was not honest with myself. I lied to God and I also lied to myself. I decided to investigate the mirror, and I accepted that the abuse afflicted on me left me with scars. Deep scars that turned into major issues. Issues that permeated to the top every now and again. You see I reached a crossroad where I could not let nor afford to let my past keep me prisoner, I did not want to be a hostage to pain anymore. I figured I was okay, and the damage caused was not that serious. I have come to realize that being alive is more than just breathing. God wants us to experience Him in many ways and to see how much love He really has for us in ways that we have not known. I was broken, disheveled, and I lost my sense of self. Who was I? Where was I going? Does God love me? What exactly is love?
I reached a major point in my relationship with Jesus and I couldn’t bear it anymore I told him how I felt I told Him how I was scared, how hurt I was, and how I wanted Him close but I was anxious. You see, I was never honest with Him about how I truly felt about my mother I just pushed all my feelings down so far that when they did resurface I would shut down and become flaky, flighty, and apathetic towards everyone including myself and towards my Savior and Redeemer Jesus. It was revealed to me that I developed a hatred for my mother, a resentment towards my childhood and a strong distain towards people who dismissed my feelings as mere imaginations and something that I should just get over.
My hurt led to hatred, which resulted in bitterness which resulted in me hating myself and doing things that not only affected others in my surroundings but also myself. The best thing I ever did was accept it I accepted the fact that I was abused I was done wrong, and that people who haven’t went through what I went through will not empathize with me nor give me the sympathy that I so desperately crave. Only Jesus can do that, and only God will allow that. On that beautiful day when I came under attack from not only the enemy but also my former self, I decided to pick up my CROSS.
When I think of my mother, and others who also have similar stories what is the end result? Will we as survivors or victims keep the cycle going, or will we deny ourselves? Jesus suffered and died on the cross for nothing He did wrong. So, who are we? I learned on that faithful day that life isn’t fair, and interestingly it isn’t supposed to be if it was fair or “perfect” we wouldn’t need Jesus, now would we?
You have two options, but one choice. You can be a victim who turns into a victimizer, or you can be a victor who leads others to victory and that is Gods plan for us. You see, I just recently (like a week ago) understood how much Yahweh loves me. Jesus knew how I felt towards my mother (and family) He was waiting for me to be honest with Him, and to tell Him how I truly felt, and I won’t lie when I told Him how I truly felt I felt a HUGE burden get lifted off my spirit.
That is when I felt our relationship began to blossom into something deeper. When I began to open my heart to Him.
As His Word says, “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you”. {1 Peter 5:7 kjv}
Jesus Christ knows everything we have been through, and He also understands how we feel. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet he did not sin”. {Hebrews 4:15 KJV}
The point of me telling (writing) my testimony is this: Tell Jesus the truth, your soul depends on it.
May God bless you and keep you on your healing journey. DanYah “Dedee” ❤
Let’s give glory to the King. He is the First of the Fruits!
Praise Him for His glory and His might
Praise Him for His great sacrifice
Oh Lord! I have fallen in love with thee
I shall praise You for all eternity
As I write these words to You, I pray that they shall remain true
Holy! Holy! Is my God, Hallelujah! Praise Abba Yah<3
I sit and think of thee, Oh my Lord my soul longs for thee
I pray I see You soon, I pray for Your Holy commune
The bride needs you Christ, while the world isn’t suffice
You my Lord holds us in Your hands, even though we cannot see how much of your grace is in this plan
YOU! are my ONLY source, You are my shield let me always remember to remain still
You are my Savior and Yah’s begotten Son, I shall always recite Psalms 91
You are the only One that keeps me safe, Please Lord give us grace.
Thank You Jesus for The price you paid at Calvary. As we sit and reflect on You during this Holy week. Lord I love You and I praise You. No one amounts to You and no one is like YOU! I love You Christ Thank You for being a Good Shepard over Us. Hallelujah
Only a message from the Lord as I am guided to type these words I am deeply grieved at the spiritual state of man and the levels of UNBELIEF that permeates the world. So many are CALLED but FEW ARE CHOSEN. Have you ever stopped to question why.. Have you ever wondered why…… The wages of sin is death, but we have eternal life through Jesus Christ! What makes a man chosen?? What makes him righteous this broken world has broken up the flock they have desecrated the things of The Living El Shaddai all because they will not turn from their WICKED WAYS. Time and time again you are showed what happens when a nation turns it’s back on God and rejects Him and His prophets and time and time again the people do not listen. This is just the beginning of many birth pains that will plague the world. Get your HOUSES in ORDER!! REPENT BECAUSE THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND.
What about the unbelievers??? Will that stop the Lord Jesus Christ????
Romans 3:3-5 King James Version (KJV) 3 For whatifsomedidnotbelieve? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect? 4 God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.
Chosen because they will lay their life down for Christ. Chosen because they do not LOVE this life. Chosen because they are pure in heart, and The Good LORD chose them from the start. Repent! SEEK the Lord while He can be found. The COVID-19 is just the beginning of worst things to come…… Pray. Rethink where you are in Christ before it’s too late.
Revelation 12:11 King James Version (KJV)
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Tell Your testimony!!! UPLIFT!!! Plead the BLOOD!!! CALL ON THE LORD LIKE NEVER BEFORE SAINTS! The Lord will protect what is HIS!!
And if you don’t believe Good Luck with that you cannot say you didn’t know even nature bows down to Christ. It’s so clear that God is real why do you harden your heart? Why do you not ask Him to be apart of your life He Loves you so much and He created you to fellowship with Him.
Shalom and Stay Prayed up May El Shaddai Bless you and Protect you. May Christ Enter your heart and fill you with Love His Love surpasses all of our understanding. I love You all! We will get through this we have a mighty and POWERFUL REDEEMER on our side.
Hope,
without it a man will perish the same also goes for faith without it too surely
a man will be lost. I pay tribute to the One who loves me unconditionally, the
One who healed my heart, the One who gives me light amid the darkness. The One
who many people seem to neglect, the One who many people get frustrated at, the
One who many people seem to misunderstand and misconstrue. He wipes away my
tears, He renews my spirit, and only in Him can I renew my strength. Believing
comes natural to all of us, but it depends on what you choose to believe in it
also depends on what you decide to set your hope on, and if you don’t know who
I’m talking about in this speech let me enlighten you.
I’m talking about Christ. His words
give me healing, His words give me life they provide me with the strength to
believe that through Him I can do all things that strengthen me. I know where
my strength comes from, and it gives me not only a peace of mind, but also
gives me a perfect peace an inward peace that radiates on the outside. Peace
that’s upon me always and in all events of my life, I am paying tribute to my
Creator that not only provides me with an everlasting peace but also loves me
with a love that is unconditional, and beyond my understanding.
He’s my counselor, and with Him I don’t need to lean on my own understanding because with Him there is perfect understanding. He heals my broken heart and He makes it so when I’m weak I can proclaim that I am strong I know in my heart that I haven’t made it on this Earth this long because I am cool, or popular, or even because I’m in “control” this is why I choose to wholeheartedly pay tribute to the One who is in control, the One who freed me from bondage, to not only my Redeemer but also my best friend. This my dear friends is Jesus Christ.
