Part of my History, but not my DESTINY💎

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I believe that we all come to a point in our lives where we have to let go of certain individuals. You have to make solid decisions based off of what’s best for you. I firmly believe that everyone isn’t suppose to stay in your life some people stay for seasons, and some remain for decades. Yahweh knows who belongs in your life who needs to stay, and who needs to leave it’s just up to us to know the difference. It’s been awhile since I posted a blog I been busy sifting through my thoughts, and trying to get my emotions in check so much going on. Everything has a time, and a place whether it’s switching jobs, moving to another state, or letting go of family members that you have outgrown. As a survivor I am learning many lessons the one lesson that was hardest for me to learn is that many people are a part of my history, but not my DESTINY. At this point in my life I understand that letting go doesn’t mean that you hate someone it simply means that your are going in a different direction than them you love them enough to let them venture on their own path. Letting go can be simple, or complex depending on the level of love in a relationship.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

Sometimes we just love people so much that we realize they are safer in our history taking from them everything that we learned the good, the bad, and the ugly. Understanding that they simply do not fit in our lives anymore the purpose that El Shaddai had for them in your life has ran it’s course. Letting go gives you a renewed sense of self as we grow we much get rid of everything, and everyone that either weighs us down or whoever is going in an opposite direction than we are. Truth divides. Remember that high school friend that moved away? What about that ex that cheated? For me letting go involved family members some abusive, and some I just simply outgrew. I had to understand that they are part of my history, but not my destiny I cried for some, and disassociated from others. The growing process hurts sometimes, but in the end we must all realize that this is apart of The Most High God’s plan for us.

Romans 8:28 – And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

About three weeks ago I finally understood this lesson of letting go. I seen my estranged older sister (on my mother’s side) my heart raced, but I felt a sense of strength I wasn’t scared or anxious nor did I feel any hate or resentment towards her. We talked about our lives, and what all we had going on I expressed how I just needed time away from them time to see where I wanted to be she told me that she understood. I asked her about mama, and she said that she hasn’t changed (which didn’t surprise me) I even asked my sister if she talks about me, and my sister told me that my mama doesn’t bring me up (at least not to her). Upon hearing that I told my sister how I felt that mother and I both did things wrong, and the way we handled the situations that occurred could have been better it was just so hard for me to deal with her. Now that I’m older I realized that my mother was a broken woman who also suffered from trauma, and instead of her facing her demons she just dismissed them, and pushed them on me labeling me her “problem child” weighing me down with not only her problems but also problems of my own which robbed me of my sense of self.

I told her that I wasn’t ready to reach out to mama yet, and honestly I don’t think I ever will (I didn’t tell her that though).She replied that it’s okay, just don’t wait too long or you may regret it. My sister gave me her number which I took, but then I had another decision to make do I keep her number or delete it? Do I let them back into my life, or do I leave that door closed that I already closed so long ago? I decided on that day that I will leave that door close, and I deleted her number I then set out on a journey the journey of letting go of all the people who I felt that I outgrew the people who had no room in my destiny. I’m not mad at them I just understand that we are moving in two different directions. We are on two different levels. We want different things out of life. Growing can be uncomfortable, but at the same time when one grows they obtain a new level of understanding.

That day I discovered that I had changed. That I did let go not only did I let go of family members, but also others who I outgrew they are part of my history, and my history helped shaped me into the woman I am today. No one is promised to stay in our lives, but the only one who promises to remain there is El Shaddai; The God of Israel; The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I cut off my family, and I understand now that I finally outgrew them and the pain they gave me. There is no hate in my decision if anything I feel a sense of peace, love, and completion.

Deuteronomy 31:8 – KJV It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

I hope you open your heart to this. Some people are just part of your history, but not your destiny. You don’t hate them you just understand that they don’t fit on the road that you are walking on, or perhaps they are walking in an opposite direction than you. Either way do you know who belongs in your life and who doesn’t? Perhaps you are holding on to dead relationships that have run their course ask Yah to reveal who belongs in your life and who needs to go.

Everyone doesn’t fit in our destiny.

P.S It’s the hardest lesson to learn.

Love,

Dedee ❤

Part 2: The Spirit of Rejection: Symptoms/ Manifestations of it

Isaiah 53:3 (kjv) – He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

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Believers of Christ will face rejection there is no way around it. The enemy works on the strongest warriors early in their childhood to ensure the spirit of rejection takes root in their soil. Rejection can make one bitter, angry, full of contempt, and shame in worst cases rage can set in making it hard for that individual to love, or trust others. I know all to well how it is to feel as though no one loves you to feel as though the Most High is so far away from you to listen to those thoughts in your head convincing you that Yah hates you.

The spirit of rejection partners with the spirit of condemnation making you feel as though Christ has abandoned you that he would never love you, and that the reason you were abused, and abandoned is because you were a bad person. The thoughts come rushing that it was all your fault that you were abused, and you will never be good enough for Yahweh so why even try. No matter the words of encouragement or how bright I shined I used to hate myself because of my past. (Thank Yah I’m divinely delivered!)

The spirit of rejection (once your in agreement) tricks you into believing you are “safe” by not venturing out and facing then conquering the demons of your past.

If left unconquered these demons will:

  • Destroy your walk with Christ
  • Ruin your life
  • Dismantle and kill all your relationships in your life
  • Make you hate yourself and others

** The end result is suicide for the person they are tormenting** Remember! (John 10:10 kjv – The thief comes to steal, kill, and DESTROY!) Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically

While under the influence of the spirit of rejection the symptoms I would have included:

  • I was scared to seek a REAL relationship with Christ. I felt because of my relationship with my mother He hated me because I was a “Bad Seed”. (We must stop acting based on our feelings and start knowing based on the TRUE word of YAH!)
  • I would constantly compare myself with others. (I would become envious if a person’s childhood situation were better than mines all the while blaming myself for the dysfunction in my family. I never felt that I could rise above my past.)
  • I would be scared to be myself around others. (For fear that they would find out I was not as “stable” as I appeared and that I was harboring lots of pain inside.)
  • I was hypersensitive to others’ opinions, comments, and constructive criticism. When others would make comments about me, I would shut down, and introvert into myself. (I was raised around negativity, and I had ZERO self-confidence, and ZERO self-worth I did not even know who I was in Yah.)  I just recently understood that it does not matter what people think the only thing that matters is if your in RIGHT standing with YAH!

***** We have to understand that we are all different. We all come from different backgrounds (sometimes we have similar experiences). We won’t get along with most people and that’s okay. The only one that matters is The Most High. What’s your relationship status with Him? *****

The spirit of rejection is something that you do not have to accept! Happiness is a choice in this life. You can either be positive or negative (there is no such thing as being both at the same time). Are you displaying symptoms of rejection? The best thing I have ever done for myself was ask The Most High to reveal to me something about myself that was stopping my growth with Him. I am forever grateful that He is my ABBA and that He cares about me enough to not let me be tormented by this demonic spirit. He wants true intimacy with us. It’s just up to us to let go and to let Him come into our hearts and our lives. Renounce rejection and accept ACCEPTANCE in Christ!

Hebrews 4:15- For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

One final thing to remember your enemies are there to refine you! They don’t DEFINE you only The Most High can define you because He created you and He loves you more than you can ever understand. Most people aren’t overcoming. Most people don’t want to know The Most High Yah. A lot of people don’t want to grow in Christ. People like me and you are on our way to overcoming or we have overcome. In this life we can chose to let go and let God, or to hold on and let the devil keep us captive in rejection. The strangest part about this is that the choice is yours, God will not force Himself on you.


Matthew 24:13- But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

Let’s Not COMPLAIN! LET’S CONQUER! 👑🙇🏽‍♀️

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Sabbath Songs: Yahweh’s Chosen Wheat 🌾

Its been a LONG TIME since I wrote a psalm to Yahweh, since I have achieved a new milestone in my walk of faith I wanted to write a psalm to my Savior the Redeemer of my soul. 🌼🌹🌹🌹🌹

Out of everyone else why did You choose me?

Why El Shaddai, do you show us so much mercy?

I used to be broken, but now I am restored.

Yahweh-Rapha. My Healer. My Redeemer.

Only El Shaddai can make a man whole, and only Christ can save your soul.

We run from the Redeemer only to wind up into the arms of the deceiver.

The lies he whispers sound so true, the hurt he gives makes you feel so blue.

We are not our past. We are not our abusers. Children of Yahweh. Searching for His way.

Called out. Redeemed out. Chosen out of the chaos that’s roaming about.

Yahweh seen something in me that I did not see in myself. I know now that He is the source of my help.

Only from Him comes strength. Only from Him comes rest. He is the best. He is my King.

Bless Yah Oh my Soul. My Creator. My Keeper.

With Him I need not to fear because He holds me dear.

We are Light fighting against the dark. A great fire that sends a greater spark.

Chosen wheat that shall not taste defeat! satan you are beneath our feet.

I am a child of The Most High God Hallelujah! Let us all Praise Ye Yah!!

Come Let us sing psalms to The King! Let us all Praise Him for His Provisions.

Thank You Adonai for the visions. For the love that You send from Above.

Dedee “DanYah” 🌼🌼🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I love You Abba Yah.

The Dangers of A Toxic Childhood ✋🏽☣☢

Ecclesiastes 7:7 Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart.

Ecclesiastes 7:7 kjv.

Unacknowledged childhood trauma leads to problems in a person’s adulthood if left unchecked and not properly healed. By the time an individual understands that they were raised in toxicity they will either keep the cycle of abuse going (they will go on to abuse their children, coworkers, friends, spouse etc.) or withdraw from themselves taking residence in the sunken place not knowing who they are, or understanding what’s going on around them.

I personally believe (I am speaking from experience) that childhood abuse/trauma damages the way a child sees The Most High God if trauma is left unresolved and not healed this can leave a person feeling inadequate and can cause them to run from God (rather than to Him) fearing that He will abandon and neglect them like their toxic family did.

The Bible says to train up a child in the way that he should go (Proverbs 22:6). What happens when a child is trained up in toxicity? Molded in resentment, and lacking healthy qualities given to them when they are nurtured in a safe environment. The effects can be very detrimental to a individuals growth spiritually, mentally, and emotionally matter of fact, it warps not only how they view themselves but how they also view God. Once the individual gets healthy healing (yes there are unhealthy ways to heal) they will start to understand that love is an action word rather than a word said to use, and abuse a person at will causing confusion and turmoil through means of manipulation, and deception.

As we get older, we need to learn to distance ourselves from those who radiate, or even entertain negativity. The Bible says that those who cause divisions manipulate those who entertain it by smooth talk (manipulation) and flattery (deception) they deceive the hearts of the simple.

Romans 16:17-18 17Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. 18For they that are such serve not our LORD Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.

A simple-minded person (in this case) is someone who rather “go along to get along”. They are the people in this type of dynamic who cannot understand or grasp the insight that they are being deceived and manipulated. They either participate willingly or they do not understand that their abuser is an ABUSER in my experience they are enablers and will turn on you in order to maintain a false sense of peace.

God is NOT the author of confusion (1 CORINTHIANS 14:33) but of peace. Just know where envying and strife is there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16) and this can go on ANYWHERE! Toxic environments are riddled with demons and you must know that if your getting attacked or you feel shaken in this environment then The Most High has chosen to call you out of darkness and into His marvelous Light (1 Peter 2:9)

The child that was/is abused must realize that God is not like man better yet that Yahweh’s love does not come with sorrow but we must realize that any godly sorrow will come with repentance (2 CORINTHIANS 7:10) that will lead us to a closer relationship with Abba Yah. Any sorrow from this world leads to death. If someone is giving you love that comes with sorrow then this is NOT LOVE. We must not be afraid to give Yahweh our hearts He alone can heal us, He alone can deliver us, and He alone can redeem us. We must serve Him know that at the end everyone will have to give account of every idle word(Matthew 12:36), and evil deed that they have done to others.

And that is the most beautiful part of this whole story what people fail to realize is that they will give account to their actions they will have to answer to El Shaddai for EVERYTHING they have done. The pain they caused, the lives that they ruined that’s why its best to leave it in God’s hands because after all He did say “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. (Romans 12:19 kjv).

Just Remember Healing is a EVERYDAY THING, not a once in a lifetime event.

Love,

DedeeisDivinelyDelivered 💖🌼

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Benefit of the Doubt or Just Tolerating Evil?🤔

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We have to use righteous judgement in whether we should give someone the benefit of the doubt or if we are just tolerating EVIL. Growing up in an abusive household warps our sense of judgement, and makes it difficult in separating good from evil.

Forgiveness of sins should NOT BE CONFUSED with tolerating evil.

You can forgive someone and not engage with that person. There is a proper way to do ALL things.

Start your healing today call on Jesus Christ to heal your broken heart! You do not have to be a VICTIM! BECOME A VICTOR!!!

He is near to those of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:18

Sabbath Songs: Deliver Me 📦👰🏽💞

Save me Lord. Can you please deliver me?

I beseech thee Lord for all your tender mercies.

Can You restore to me what the enemy has stolen?

Can you make free my soul and get me out of this hole and

I call on You My God, and my King.

I will always praise You because You make my heart sing.

Deliver me Jesus! Save my soul from hell

Help me Jesus, please Lord let me drink from Your well.

I long to be free. I long to be okay.

I long to be in Your arms on that faithful day.

Lord, Your blood cleanses us. Lord Your love also preserves us.

Deliver me Lord. Heal me King. I am thankful for all your mercies.

Selah [♥]

God is Healing 🕊️

I almost had a relapse today. I thought about all the things I went through in my childhood and how abuse made me feel so dissociated with reality. I knew this was an attack from the enemy I must be close to something that God has in store for me, and that’s my healing. People who grow up in abuse or those who become entangled in abuse often struggle with identity crisis, and most if not all tend to think that God has forgotten about them. Today I was honest with Jesus, and I told Him how I felt. How long does it take to heal? Is healing a everyday process? I am starting to believe it is everyday I must seek to be renewed and not conformed to the world, and also not letting my past dictate me.

I will stand on His Word, I will be unafraid. I’m tired of being flaky I understand now that my flakiness is a result of the trauma that I went through in my childhood. It causes me not to trust easily, it causes me to run from everyone including my Creator it leaves me with permanent fig leaves that I want removed. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of hurting. I just want You Lord to Heal me I just want to be grounded in You and Your Love. Please Lord be my Yahweh Rapha, I know you will only be if I allow you too. Remove these fig leaves from me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.{♥}

I chose to stand on this, In Jesus Christ name AMEN!

Reflecting on me going no contact from my family: Reasons you should too. [My Testimony included]

This Spring made three years of me going no contact with my family that includes everyone in my family I remember that day in Spring in 2017 I had just gotten out of a psych ward (that my mother helped put me in) when we returned home my husband and I had no money, and little food I also lost my job during this time. I was left dealing with pieces of my broken, and unstable spirit I felt betrayed, alone, and unloved on many levels I also got the answer to the question that often plagued my mind my whole childhood “Does my mother love me?” I knew after this experience that if she didn’t truly hate me she sure acted the part that’s when reality sinked in.

Before going no contact I was on a roller-coaster trying to decipher truth from lies I was a smoker, and a marijuana addict who sometimes dabbled in alcoholism trying so hard to blend into a family that seemed to do me more harm than good. I was trying so hard to heal that broken, and abused girl in the best way I knew how with fleshly desires she had so much trauma that she figured God could never love her.

In 2017, I suffered a major demonic attack as I’m typing this message I’m sure you are facing something too, we all are but during this time in 2017 I seen demonic things, heard demonic things, and I seen the depth of how lost and demonically controlled my family was how much hatred my mother actually held for me and how much resentment she really had towards me (for no reason). I understand now that it was just a cover up for how jealous she was of me my family exploited me, abandoned me, had others laughing and mocking me. I even walked in on her calling the hospital to come get me and pick me up to take me away.

I felt scared, and confused my mother claimed she knew Jesus but after this experience I seen how far away from the truth she actually was. She had no truth her conscious was seared with a hot iron her and everyone else in my family they were like anchors keeping me under water not allowing me to float to the top in order to keep from drowning. Three years. The breaking point for me was when I got out of the mental institution( a hotbed for demonic activity different story, different day) my family never called, never checked up on me NO ONE CARED I felt so alone and ashamed going through the incident that I just experienced.

As I stated before we had nothing no money, no food, and I lost my job. So I did what any child would have done I called my mother to ask for help when she answered the phone I could hear the disgust and distain in her voice my heart was beating out of my chest (over 40.00 mind you). What started my no contact decision was when I went to go pick up the money that I wanted to borrow from her and I seen an awe inspiring look of demonic evil and hatred on her face it was like she hated the fact that she had to lend her mentally broken daughter a hand. It made me so upset how she acted like I done her something wrong in reality I was just breaking down from the years of abuse that she took me through a lot of things bubbled to the surface.

After that day in 2017 I left my family alone I changed my number shortly after I then started my journey towards Christ. I dealt with my own demons some that I let in and others that were passed to me through trauma. Going no contact has given me a feeling of liberation, and it has freed me from the chains of maternal narcissism (Jezebel family system) like many children who grow up in this type of environment you may carry around repressed anger. Little things may trigger you to go back into a child’s safe mode, self-hatred is normal for you and you will feel either resentment towards God or refuse His love on the account that you were never shown love properly or in a healthy way.

Deciding to walk away doesn’t mean your weak it just means you need to heal it just means you decide to honor Jesus correctly. Should you stay in a dysfunctional family system that is out of order and robs you of your God given purpose? A system that is against God? I am still on my healing journey I find myself some days feeling inadequate I rely on Jesus daily to take away my shame, and anger only HE can do that. This process doesn’t happen overnight but it does get better once you submit to His will over your life I deal with depression sometimes, but I praise God because NOW I know this is a trick and tool of the enemy to keep me distracted from my God given purpose, and calling the authority He gives me through Jesus Christ.

Many of us will come to this point in our spiritual walk (especially when dealing with toxic family member) that Jesus means more to you than your struggles and pain from abuse. Jesus says in Matthew 10:37-38 kjv

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

Whats your cross? Only you know that. I deal with the feelings of not having a family that loved me, not having a mother to validate me. Other vices that sometimes permeates through. But I have an advocate His name is Jesus Christ (1 John 2:2 kjv) There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus we do not praise and worship Jesus Christ based off our righteousness but His.

God knows how many tears I have cried and he knows how many you have cried also.

Psalm 56:8 8Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

The world takes up for it’s own, but God protects what is His don’t stay around and in the cycle of abuse it will only leave you feeling empty and angry at God (I struggled with that Praise God for deliverance)

Just meditate on these scriptures

1 Peter 5:7 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. [when you feel anxious]

Psalm 27:10 10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. [when you father and mother abandon you or they are abusers}

REMEMBER! The devil attacks the strongest in the bunch not the weakest

Sabbath Prologue: Tree of Life (It’s Coming)

Only a message from the Lord as I am guided to type these words I am deeply grieved at the spiritual state of man and the levels of UNBELIEF that permeates the world. So many are CALLED but FEW ARE CHOSEN. Have you ever stopped to question why.. Have you ever wondered why…… The wages of sin is death, but we have eternal life through Jesus Christ! What makes a man chosen?? What makes him righteous this broken world has broken up the flock they have desecrated the things of The Living El Shaddai all because they will not turn from their WICKED WAYS. Time and time again you are showed what happens when a nation turns it’s back on God and rejects Him and His prophets and time and time again the people do not listen. This is just the beginning of many birth pains that will plague the world. Get your HOUSES in ORDER!! REPENT BECAUSE THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND.

What about the unbelievers??? Will that stop the Lord Jesus Christ????

Romans 3:3-5 King James Version (KJV) 3  For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect? 4  God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.

Chosen because they will lay their life down for Christ. Chosen because they do not LOVE this life. Chosen because they are pure in heart, and The Good LORD chose them from the start. Repent! SEEK the Lord while He can be found. The COVID-19 is just the beginning of worst things to come…… Pray. Rethink where you are in Christ before it’s too late.

Revelation 12:11 King James Version (KJV)

11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Tell Your testimony!!! UPLIFT!!! Plead the BLOOD!!! CALL ON THE LORD LIKE NEVER BEFORE SAINTS! The Lord will protect what is HIS!!

And if you don’t believe Good Luck with that you cannot say you didn’t know even nature bows down to Christ. It’s so clear that God is real why do you harden your heart? Why do you not ask Him to be apart of your life He Loves you so much and He created you to fellowship with Him.

Shalom and Stay Prayed up May El Shaddai Bless you and Protect you. May Christ Enter your heart and fill you with Love His Love surpasses all of our understanding. I love You all! We will get through this we have a mighty and POWERFUL REDEEMER on our side.