🕊️The Pain that comes with going No contact {Abuse Awareness}

Link to my YouTube https://youtu.be/qZGI5jkKiQQ

After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.

Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside.  When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement.  They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.

Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:

  • You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
  • To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
  • If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
  • Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.

They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!

FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!

If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

I will give praise to You forever 🙌🏽🥰

My Lord, My God! I will give praise to You forever!

You heal my heart, I am Your work of art

A masterpiece made for the King, when I get in your presence I will always sing

I need You Jesus, can you save me from this place

Let me follow you Lord because You make me feel so safe

Keep me honest Lord. Keep me clean

I pray that I can be Your queen. I stand in awe of Your glory and Your might

Please Lord don’t let me be out of your sight. Let me not leave Your hand

I am so blessed that You have a plan. Selah

I Love You El Shaddai ♥

Deliverance From Dysfunction {💌} Testimony included **

Link to my youtube: https://youtu.be/Lei8RdYyghM

Until recently I was not honest with myself. I lied to God and I also lied to myself. I decided to investigate the mirror, and I accepted that the abuse afflicted on me left me with scars. Deep scars that turned into major issues. Issues that permeated to the top every now and again. You see I reached a crossroad where I could not let nor afford to let my past keep me prisoner, I did not want to be a hostage to pain anymore. I figured I was okay, and the damage caused was not that serious. I have come to realize that being alive is more than just breathing. God wants us to experience Him in many ways and to see how much love He really has for us in ways that we have not known. I was broken, disheveled, and I lost my sense of self. Who was I? Where was I going? Does God love me? What exactly is love?

I reached a major point in my relationship with Jesus and I couldn’t bear it anymore I told him how I felt I told Him how I was scared, how hurt I was, and how I wanted Him close but I was anxious. You see, I was never honest with Him about how I truly felt about my mother I just pushed all my feelings down so far that when they did resurface I would shut down and become flaky, flighty, and apathetic towards everyone including myself and towards my Savior and Redeemer Jesus. It was revealed to me that I developed a hatred for my mother, a resentment towards my childhood and a strong distain towards people who dismissed my feelings as mere imaginations and something that I should just get over.

My hurt led to hatred, which resulted in bitterness which resulted in me hating myself and doing things that not only affected others in my surroundings but also myself. The best thing I ever did was accept it I accepted the fact that I was abused I was done wrong, and that people who haven’t went through what I went through will not empathize with me nor give me the sympathy that I so desperately crave. Only Jesus can do that, and only God will allow that. On that beautiful day when I came under attack from not only the enemy but also my former self, I decided to pick up my CROSS.

When I think of my mother, and others who also have similar stories what is the end result? Will we as survivors or victims keep the cycle going, or will we deny ourselves? Jesus suffered and died on the cross for nothing He did wrong. So, who are we? I learned on that faithful day that life isn’t fair, and interestingly it isn’t supposed to be if it was fair or “perfect” we wouldn’t need Jesus, now would we?

You have two options, but one choice. You can be a victim who turns into a victimizer, or you can be a victor who leads others to victory and that is Gods plan for us. You see, I just recently (like a week ago) understood how much Yahweh loves me. Jesus knew how I felt towards my mother (and family) He was waiting for me to be honest with Him, and to tell Him how I truly felt, and I won’t lie when I told Him how I truly felt I felt a HUGE burden get lifted off my spirit.

That is when I felt our relationship began to blossom into something deeper. When I began to open my heart to Him.

As His Word says, “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you”. {1 Peter 5:7 kjv}

Jesus Christ knows everything we have been through, and He also understands how we feel. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet he did not sin”. {Hebrews 4:15 KJV}

The point of me telling (writing) my testimony is this: Tell Jesus the truth, your soul depends on it.

May God bless you and keep you on your healing journey. DanYah “Dedee” ❤