Unforgiveness is Rooted Bitterness 🌱🌱😞

Hebrews 12:15-17 kjv

Hebrews 12:15 KJV Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;


Link to my YouTube channel https://youtu.be/F6ote2GhvmA

As a child who grew up in a abusive household I developed many unhealthy spiritual habits, and one MAJOR thing that I struggled with was unforgiveness it infected me like a cancer and I felt that I didn’t need to forgive my mother because after all she never acknowledged her wrongs. The older I got, the more I experienced hurt at the hands of my family and also others that I met I felt as though if my mother didn’t love me how can God love me? Was forgiveness necessary for me to walk with Christ? Was the hardest decision in my life actually more easier than my flesh made it feel?

I can attest that in order to have a successful relationship with Jesus Christ you MUST forgive EVERYONE even when it HURTS. Unforgiveness is actually a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21 kjv) it leads to hatred and gives you a ticket straight to hell.

Our relationship with God, is built on forgiveness when we repent of our sins we are also asking for forgiveness in order to have a relationship with God. Jesus tells us in Mark 11:26: But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses kjv.

In order to experience true freedom and healing from the shackles of abuse and spiritual defeat one must be willing to forgive wrongdoings that was done to them NO MATTER how much it hurts. I know it hurts but love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8 kjv) I love Jesus Christ more than I love my pain and hurt He frees us from the bondage of bitterness.

The longer I held on to the past the more bitter I got. We have two choices in our healing process to get bitter or better.

Sit and reflect on these things:

  • Is holding in hurt and resentment worth your eternal soul in Hell? Are you justifying reasons you shouldn’t forgive someone who has wronged you, are you letting your flesh get in the way of TRUE deliverance?
  • Is your relationship with God based on an actual relationship of true love, and repentance? Are you just covering up your bitterness with empty praises and clinging to unforgiveness while slowly sinking into anger (works of the flesh)?

Bitterness is a seed that gets planted at a early age and it springs up slowly and by the time you realize that you have a problem you are in hell regretting and wishing that you would have came to Christ for healing. Most bitter people do not realize they are bitter, they are cynical they are deep rooted in the flesh and many of these people think that they are Christians. As true followers of Christ we must deny ourselves (Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.)

Abuse is my cross and denying myself means that I put anger and resentment(bitterness) far from me. I will follow Christ because only He can give me deliverance, healing, and most of all LOVE. I choose not to walk in the flesh, but I will walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16 kjv This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.)

Repent for the kingdom of God draws near! Whatever wrong that was done to you please give it to Jesus He will handle it. True freedom come from forgiveness because it allows you to place your FULL Faith (trust) in God it leaves justice to Him (Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the LORD.)

Unforgivness puts up a wall between you and Jesus a wall so high that you wont be able to experience His love, and the freedom that comes with it.

FORGIVE, REPENT, AND BE SET FREE!

Sabbath Songs: Deliver Me 📦👰🏽💞

Save me Lord. Can you please deliver me?

I beseech thee Lord for all your tender mercies.

Can You restore to me what the enemy has stolen?

Can you make free my soul and get me out of this hole and

I call on You My God, and my King.

I will always praise You because You make my heart sing.

Deliver me Jesus! Save my soul from hell

Help me Jesus, please Lord let me drink from Your well.

I long to be free. I long to be okay.

I long to be in Your arms on that faithful day.

Lord, Your blood cleanses us. Lord Your love also preserves us.

Deliver me Lord. Heal me King. I am thankful for all your mercies.

Selah [♥]

God is Healing 🕊️

I almost had a relapse today. I thought about all the things I went through in my childhood and how abuse made me feel so dissociated with reality. I knew this was an attack from the enemy I must be close to something that God has in store for me, and that’s my healing. People who grow up in abuse or those who become entangled in abuse often struggle with identity crisis, and most if not all tend to think that God has forgotten about them. Today I was honest with Jesus, and I told Him how I felt. How long does it take to heal? Is healing a everyday process? I am starting to believe it is everyday I must seek to be renewed and not conformed to the world, and also not letting my past dictate me.

I will stand on His Word, I will be unafraid. I’m tired of being flaky I understand now that my flakiness is a result of the trauma that I went through in my childhood. It causes me not to trust easily, it causes me to run from everyone including my Creator it leaves me with permanent fig leaves that I want removed. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of hurting. I just want You Lord to Heal me I just want to be grounded in You and Your Love. Please Lord be my Yahweh Rapha, I know you will only be if I allow you too. Remove these fig leaves from me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.{♥}

I chose to stand on this, In Jesus Christ name AMEN!

Reflecting on me going no contact from my family: Reasons you should too. [My Testimony included]

This Spring made three years of me going no contact with my family that includes everyone in my family I remember that day in Spring in 2017 I had just gotten out of a psych ward (that my mother helped put me in) when we returned home my husband and I had no money, and little food I also lost my job during this time. I was left dealing with pieces of my broken, and unstable spirit I felt betrayed, alone, and unloved on many levels I also got the answer to the question that often plagued my mind my whole childhood “Does my mother love me?” I knew after this experience that if she didn’t truly hate me she sure acted the part that’s when reality sinked in.

Before going no contact I was on a roller-coaster trying to decipher truth from lies I was a smoker, and a marijuana addict who sometimes dabbled in alcoholism trying so hard to blend into a family that seemed to do me more harm than good. I was trying so hard to heal that broken, and abused girl in the best way I knew how with fleshly desires she had so much trauma that she figured God could never love her.

In 2017, I suffered a major demonic attack as I’m typing this message I’m sure you are facing something too, we all are but during this time in 2017 I seen demonic things, heard demonic things, and I seen the depth of how lost and demonically controlled my family was how much hatred my mother actually held for me and how much resentment she really had towards me (for no reason). I understand now that it was just a cover up for how jealous she was of me my family exploited me, abandoned me, had others laughing and mocking me. I even walked in on her calling the hospital to come get me and pick me up to take me away.

I felt scared, and confused my mother claimed she knew Jesus but after this experience I seen how far away from the truth she actually was. She had no truth her conscious was seared with a hot iron her and everyone else in my family they were like anchors keeping me under water not allowing me to float to the top in order to keep from drowning. Three years. The breaking point for me was when I got out of the mental institution( a hotbed for demonic activity different story, different day) my family never called, never checked up on me NO ONE CARED I felt so alone and ashamed going through the incident that I just experienced.

As I stated before we had nothing no money, no food, and I lost my job. So I did what any child would have done I called my mother to ask for help when she answered the phone I could hear the disgust and distain in her voice my heart was beating out of my chest (over 40.00 mind you). What started my no contact decision was when I went to go pick up the money that I wanted to borrow from her and I seen an awe inspiring look of demonic evil and hatred on her face it was like she hated the fact that she had to lend her mentally broken daughter a hand. It made me so upset how she acted like I done her something wrong in reality I was just breaking down from the years of abuse that she took me through a lot of things bubbled to the surface.

After that day in 2017 I left my family alone I changed my number shortly after I then started my journey towards Christ. I dealt with my own demons some that I let in and others that were passed to me through trauma. Going no contact has given me a feeling of liberation, and it has freed me from the chains of maternal narcissism (Jezebel family system) like many children who grow up in this type of environment you may carry around repressed anger. Little things may trigger you to go back into a child’s safe mode, self-hatred is normal for you and you will feel either resentment towards God or refuse His love on the account that you were never shown love properly or in a healthy way.

Deciding to walk away doesn’t mean your weak it just means you need to heal it just means you decide to honor Jesus correctly. Should you stay in a dysfunctional family system that is out of order and robs you of your God given purpose? A system that is against God? I am still on my healing journey I find myself some days feeling inadequate I rely on Jesus daily to take away my shame, and anger only HE can do that. This process doesn’t happen overnight but it does get better once you submit to His will over your life I deal with depression sometimes, but I praise God because NOW I know this is a trick and tool of the enemy to keep me distracted from my God given purpose, and calling the authority He gives me through Jesus Christ.

Many of us will come to this point in our spiritual walk (especially when dealing with toxic family member) that Jesus means more to you than your struggles and pain from abuse. Jesus says in Matthew 10:37-38 kjv

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

Whats your cross? Only you know that. I deal with the feelings of not having a family that loved me, not having a mother to validate me. Other vices that sometimes permeates through. But I have an advocate His name is Jesus Christ (1 John 2:2 kjv) There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus we do not praise and worship Jesus Christ based off our righteousness but His.

God knows how many tears I have cried and he knows how many you have cried also.

Psalm 56:8 8Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

The world takes up for it’s own, but God protects what is His don’t stay around and in the cycle of abuse it will only leave you feeling empty and angry at God (I struggled with that Praise God for deliverance)

Just meditate on these scriptures

1 Peter 5:7 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. [when you feel anxious]

Psalm 27:10 10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. [when you father and mother abandon you or they are abusers}

REMEMBER! The devil attacks the strongest in the bunch not the weakest

Homesick 🤒(Sabbath Songs)

I have to be honest since this whole COVID-19 has started I feel so HOMESICK. Lord Jesus Christ I want to go home and be with You.

Thirsty! Oh Lord how I am thirsty. I need You near me Christ, I present my body as a living sacrifice.♥

Glory! Be to the Lamb of God! Lord I know Your not far.♥

Jesus I am so homesick. Please my Lord come quick, let Your Spirit Rain down on me. ♥

I need Your peace. I need Your precious love from above.♥

Jesus so much negativity. So much hatred. So much confusion, but I will rely and trust ONLY in You.

My God, EL Shaddai You are my Lord, My King, & My Master.♥

Only You make me happily ever after.♥

I have a purpose, I have a destiny with You my King.

You make my heart sing, can I visit home please?♥

Lord sometimes I feel so alone. You amaze me. You leave me in AWE! So mysterious, yet so loving.

So far, yet so near. My Lord! You are everywhere and no where. Who can stand in your presence Lord?

Make my heart clean, make my soul pure I long to be close to You my Savior, my Redeemer.♥

I plead Your blood over me, please Lord guide my destiny. ♥

One day my Sweet Savior I won’t be homesick I can’t help but to feel lovesick towards You my first Love ♥

I’m Longing to be in Your arms Jesus ♥

🌼 A Beautiful Reminder 🌼

One of the things that I have learned from my abuse is that abuse makes your forget who you are as an individual. You have to throw away everything that your abuser said you were. Rely on Christ to help you figure out who you are! Your past doesn’t define you! Think of it as a refining period that The Most High used to make you BETTER, STRONGER, and WISER. You never know who your STORY will help. Sometimes running doesn’t mean your weak sometimes you have to leave a toxic situation to see the true manifestation of God’s Divine Healing come into play. I have more blog post coming soon. May God Bless you and Keep you in Jesus Christ name I pray !

Sabbath Prologue: Tree of Life (It’s Coming)

Only a message from the Lord as I am guided to type these words I am deeply grieved at the spiritual state of man and the levels of UNBELIEF that permeates the world. So many are CALLED but FEW ARE CHOSEN. Have you ever stopped to question why.. Have you ever wondered why…… The wages of sin is death, but we have eternal life through Jesus Christ! What makes a man chosen?? What makes him righteous this broken world has broken up the flock they have desecrated the things of The Living El Shaddai all because they will not turn from their WICKED WAYS. Time and time again you are showed what happens when a nation turns it’s back on God and rejects Him and His prophets and time and time again the people do not listen. This is just the beginning of many birth pains that will plague the world. Get your HOUSES in ORDER!! REPENT BECAUSE THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND.

What about the unbelievers??? Will that stop the Lord Jesus Christ????

Romans 3:3-5 King James Version (KJV) 3  For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect? 4  God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.

Chosen because they will lay their life down for Christ. Chosen because they do not LOVE this life. Chosen because they are pure in heart, and The Good LORD chose them from the start. Repent! SEEK the Lord while He can be found. The COVID-19 is just the beginning of worst things to come…… Pray. Rethink where you are in Christ before it’s too late.

Revelation 12:11 King James Version (KJV)

11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Tell Your testimony!!! UPLIFT!!! Plead the BLOOD!!! CALL ON THE LORD LIKE NEVER BEFORE SAINTS! The Lord will protect what is HIS!!

And if you don’t believe Good Luck with that you cannot say you didn’t know even nature bows down to Christ. It’s so clear that God is real why do you harden your heart? Why do you not ask Him to be apart of your life He Loves you so much and He created you to fellowship with Him.

Shalom and Stay Prayed up May El Shaddai Bless you and Protect you. May Christ Enter your heart and fill you with Love His Love surpasses all of our understanding. I love You all! We will get through this we have a mighty and POWERFUL REDEEMER on our side.

It’s not that Hard 😇🙏🏽

“El Shaddai, My Strength and My Redeemer. Thank You Jesus!

Praising God… It’s not that Hard

Praying to God…. It’s not that Hard

Trusting God…. It’s not that Hard

Pleasing God….. It’s not that Hard

Waiting on God….. It’s not that Hard

Loving God…… It’s not that Hard

Seeking God…. It’s not that Hard

Listening to God… It’s not that Hard

Don’t Harden your heart… He loves you.

Praise You Lord Jesus Christ [Yeshua Hamashiach], Thank you for redeeming me and saving me I love you.🔥❤️️

* If you don’t trust in God, Who do you trust in?

*If you don’t believe in God, Who do you believe in?

*If you don’t have hope in God, Who is your hope in?

** Good luck with that**

As For Me And My House We Will Serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15.

We need you now more than ever Jesus.

Dedee 🌺

Apart from Christ…. I’m Nothing💍

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? (Psalms 8:4 kjv)

The older I got the less I knew about myself. Abuse, life, drugs, and this world had took its toll on me I felt misunderstood and misplaced in a big world with no identity to call my own. I seen how my past affected the way I looked at Jesus (He revealed it to me in a dream) how I viewed Him as an image of a corruptible man the more I seeked the less I knew, the less I knew the more realized that I needed Jesus. Not the cookie cutter Jesus that so many referred to because it looked good on paper no I wanted the REAL thing I had to have the REAL thing.

What are we? That God loves us so much. He is so mindful of us and the thoughts He thinks towards us is good and not evil. He is our Creator, and He holds each and every one of us in the palm of His hand I am truly blessed to be chosen by God to be saved by way of Jesus Christ. How beautiful is our great God!! And how His mercy endures, how when we were still sinners Christ died for us isn’t that such a heart warming thing? We reject love a lot of times because we DON’T know love the world has conditioned us with a water down version on what love should be. Materialism, vanity, pride, lust, the list goes on and on…….

We are in the end of days. Time is drawing close for Christ to return! Don’t be left in the dark. The trumpets are starting to blow, many will be left behind and many don’t believe(just like in the days of Noah). My hope is that whoever is reading this blog post repents and seeks Jesus Christ all it takes is this:

Acknowledge that you are a sinner

Repent for your sins and Ask God for Forgiveness

Ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior. Ask the Lord to come into your heart as Lord of your life. 

Believe that He died and He rose & Get in the Word & Stay Connected to God.

I hope this Message finds you well. May God bless you and Keep you!

Philipians 5:17-19 says, ” Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the spirit.”