Proverbs 29:25 kjvThefearofman bringeth asnare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe
Growing up in the type of home I grew up in a lot of things were out of order.The way God was represented was out of order instead of Him being displayed as loving and caring He was used as a tool for my abusive, and narcissistic mother. Looking back on my childhood I thought that my mother was right, and in the back of my mind I felt that she knew what she was doing I figured that maybe God did hate me and I was doomed to perish. This thinking lead me to a life of confusion, and darkness quickly flooded in growing up I was robbed of my self-worth and my self-esteem this lead to fast-paced living. You see when I was 17 my mother in one of her fits kicked me out on the streets I ended up at a homeless shelter then I was living pillar to post.
I experienced a lot when I was homeless, and was exposed to a lot that I wasn’t ready for this includes: drug use, alcoholism, violence, and fast paced sex. You know all those things the world tells you is “okay” I did these things because I was looking for something or maybe someone to love me it really is true that a child is shaped by their environment, and how you affirm them either destroys them or builds them up. It leads them toward a path of destruction or a path of victory. The devil knew what he was doing I had been attacked since I was a small girl the first time my mother beat me the breaking process started, and it just kept going downhill ever since.
One thing I have learned about Yahweh is that He is merciful and He takes care of us even when we aren’t even aware of how much darkness we are in or apart of. Only Jesus Christ can RESTORE us. Jesus Christ has delivered me from a life of drug use, alcoholism, porn addiction, masturbation, homosexuality, lying, fornication, adultery. To be honest everything that Galatians 5:19-21 tells us is a WORK OF THE FLESH you see me DEDEE I am NOT PERFECT I HAVE SINNED and I will most likely sin again this is why we must repent daily because we all fall short of the glory of God. His Word says “There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10).
If you don’t trust in Jesus, then who is your trust in?
If you don’t have hope in God, then who do you hope in?
Did you know in 2017 862,320 babies were ABORTED? Do you know God will JUDGE this Abominable thing!!! DO YOU KNOW GOD HATES HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD?? DO YOU KNOW THESE BABIES BLOOD CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE???!!! DID YOU KNOW 42.4 MILLION BABIES WERE KILLED BY ABORTION IN 2019??? WHERES THE OUTRAGE OVER THIS??!!!
Yes, COVID is here but is your house in order? Are you seeking God like you should? Who can restore you? JESUS CHRIST. Who can save us? JESUS CHRIST. Who can redeem us? JESUS CHRIST. That is who I am leaning on! Not Trump, not the government, not this fallen world I place My HOPE IN EL SHADDAI!
Proverbs 29:25 kjv Thefearofman bringeth asnare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe
Time is running out folks. If you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior I suggest and highly recommend you too. Repent today, open your heart to Him. He is waiting for you with open arms He wants to be your strong tower He does not wish for any man to perish. He redeemed me and He can redeem you too. IF you LET Him. You do not want to be left unprotected during the tribulation May God have mercy on us all.
I’m not a big fan of New Year Resolutions, I feel that a lot of it is just regurgitated slangs that have been passed down from generation to generation. That’s just how I feel about it, and no DISRESPECT to anyone who believes DEEPLY in them that’s just how I feel.
Now, lets get to the topic at hand of which what I’m writing about. I am on a journey to “find” well actually discover myself I am excited, scared, nervous,and happy. Yes I understand that this is a lot of emotions but how can you blame me? I am in the process of eliminating a lot of useless things from my flesh the feelings of anger, bitterness, and the perpetual nonsense of “competing” with the daily gossips that happen to come up in the workplace. I am at a point in my life where I want to scream, laugh, and cry at the same damn time and if you have been on an awakening journey please reach through the screen and say, “DANYAH!!! I know EXACTLY how you FEEL”. I am at the point where I am understanding that life is more than what they have conditioned us to believe and happiness isn’t in a car, or gaining a promotion at a job where your working in an environment with people who can give a damn whether you live or die.
You don’t think it’s funny do you? Well I’ll be honest with you sweetheart I think it is, what if everything that you thought you knew was all lame lies that were passed down from generation to generation. Everyone is going in one direction, and many are running in that same direction but the question I want to ask everyone is “Who are You?”, where are you going? How do you perceive life? Are the ideologies your carrying around yours, or are they perceptions that have been spewed upon you? I find a lot of people so disconnected with what’s going on around us, a lot of people are more worried about a JOB, CAR, CLUB, and (insert lame thing here).
I feel that we limit The Most High God to a human statue, and I find that this is very ridiculous on our part. I try to talk to people, but is it just me or is the people getting more, and more vague? I mean have you talked to the people nowadays? The conversations are missing something people are lacking a soul connection to the Creator, if you ask me then again you probably wouldn’t ask me you would probably just pull out your phone and ask Google. A lot of things don’t matter anymore, everything that was presented to me bores me working a 9 to 5 terrifies me and being around people who aren’t like- mindedhorrifies me.
You should understand that The Most High didn’t intend for us to become, mindless zombies running like machines for these jobs that don’t even provide us with spiritual nourishment. By the time we get off from work we don’t even have time for Yahweh let alone our families. Isn’t life made for us to live, and to enjoy? Those people who proclaim that they are mad at El Shaddai, are they really mad at Him or the way the system is set up? Are they mad at Christ or the luciferian agenda that is plaguing mankind?
Well…. it’s not up to me to try to figure people out. I’m actually on a journey to discover who Yahweh created me to be. Thank you for reading please know that Christ loves us very much, and He loves us more than our brains can actually comprehend. Maybe you should discover who He made you to be, and not who “they” told you to be. Or maybe I’m full of it like the “they” I speak of.
Much Love Always, Dan “Discovering Myself” Yah (Danyah ♥)
without it a man will perish the same also goes for faith without it too surely
a man will be lost. I pay tribute to the One who loves me unconditionally, the
One who healed my heart, the One who gives me light amid the darkness. The One
who many people seem to neglect, the One who many people get frustrated at, the
One who many people seem to misunderstand and misconstrue. He wipes away my
tears, He renews my spirit, and only in Him can I renew my strength. Believing
comes natural to all of us, but it depends on what you choose to believe in it
also depends on what you decide to set your hope on, and if you don’t know who
I’m talking about in this speech let me enlighten you.
I’m talking about Christ. His words
give me healing, His words give me life they provide me with the strength to
believe that through Him I can do all things that strengthen me. I know where
my strength comes from, and it gives me not only a peace of mind, but also
gives me a perfect peace an inward peace that radiates on the outside. Peace
that’s upon me always and in all events of my life, I am paying tribute to my
Creator that not only provides me with an everlasting peace but also loves me
with a love that is unconditional, and beyond my understanding.
He’s my counselor, and with Him I don’t need to lean on my own understanding because with Him there is perfect understanding. He heals my broken heart and He makes it so when I’m weak I can proclaim that I am strong I know in my heart that I haven’t made it on this Earth this long because I am cool, or popular, or even because I’m in “control” this is why I choose to wholeheartedly pay tribute to the One who is in control, the One who freed me from bondage, to not only my Redeemer but also my best friend. This my dear friends is Jesus Christ.
Growing up in my childhood home,I never really had an identity I can remember how I cried a lot in middle school, and also high school. Crying that’s all I knew I felt it was the only way for me to have an outlet for my pain besides,who could I tell or better yet who would listen to a child talk about the pain they were experiencing? I would be deemed crazy, as I sat at the dinner table with tears running down my young face while my abusive mother kept on serving dinner with a grimace look on her face. No words of concern, or even an ounce of care fell from my mothers lips because as we know in black cultureSTRONG BLACK WOMEN don’t cry, or even show affection its a sign of weakness so my narc family would just stare at me laughing as the pain escaped my eyes, and trailed down my cheeks.
I’m only hoping that your worried about the title(Iwould be), you must think that Danyah(call me Dee please) thinks The Most High God is a God that’s for this type of sadistic narcissistic abuse(torture)? He’s a God that wants children to praise, and bow down to wickedness even though it’s the parent that’s the one serving up toxic behavior like it’s a lunch special at your favorite seafood restaurant. No matter how EXTREME the abuse is, no matter how two-faced, terrible, and treacherous the parent(s) are He wants us as victims to suck it up, get over it because I’m sure every abused child that is a victim of narc abuse by proxy knows this scripture….
What happens when “sparing the rod” becomes a more sinister, and forbidding ordeal? Does the Most High really sit on His throne in heaven watching this perilous abuse occur all the while clapping, and cheering our abusers on with a complacent grin on His beautiful face? I used to think that honestly, I wont even lie to you I really did hell your talking to a woman who didn’t think she would make it pass 18, let alone have children(because she was too stupid, and crazy or the famous line “she cant even take care of herself“). She was so brainwashed that she thought if she didn’t speak to her abusive mother that the Most High would hate her, nah not just HATE HER, but also exact vengeanceon her
Like I said at the beginning, growing up in my narc family system I never had an identity( I wasn’t allowed to evolve) whatever our domineering matriarch of a mother said it was counted as scripture. So when she would make smug comments about the Bible, and told us in a mocking way of the Lords words how we should “Honor your Mother and Father so your days could be long on this earth” I automatically assumed as a young child that the abuse that was being administered was something that gave Him great pleasure, and that it was also something that God approved of. With every beating that my mother put on me not only physically, she also didn’t waste any time breaking me down spiritually during this time I lost piece after piece of myself. I would often wonder in the midst of all this abuse if God loved me, because the horrors my mother put me through sure didn’t reflect love instead it reflected envy, jealously, pain, affliction, and turmoil (the list goes on, and on).Like many abusive narcissistic mothers(sadly) they reflect a image of envy, jealous, and hatred not only for their children, but its like its a projection of how they feel about themselves, so throwing God in there isn’t even off limits to them if anything they have too much pride in their hearts so they believe in their heads that they are ENTITLED to use the Most High God as a weapon too. Its even so bad that these type of religious Narc mothers (I’m talking about my experience now lets get deeper) they believe that God is on their side in the midst of all this madness.
So yeah,my mother would cherry pick that scripture all time she used manipulative tactics to make it seem as God was against me, and all for her abuse. But what about Colossians 3:21?
Let’s break this ⬆️scripture down because as the Glorious Most High word says in 2 Timothy 2:15.
That’s right No SHAME in my game(because I’m adamant that this message will help someone who also has went through what I went through)So what was the Most High talking about in Colossians 3:21? Lets divide this truth down it says” Fathers, PROVOKE not your CHILDREN to ANGER, lest they become DISCOURAGED. Now lets break down these bold out words because I would hate to assume that many people don’t know the meanings of these words(or even know that this scripture is in the Holy Bible).
Father then goes on to say “Lest they become DISCOURAGED now what do these words mean? Discouraged means to deprive of courage or confidence(let’s go a step further) what does confidence mean?
See how it says the feeling that one can rely on someone or something; FIRM TRUST. So basically(your probably like can she get to the point right?) what I got from this is that parents aren’t supposed to make their children angry to the point where they resent them, they most certainly shouldn’t belittle their children bully their children, or make their children fear them in a way that isn’t godly but demonizing, and menacing. But what the religious narc fails to realize is The Most High hates haughtiness, and I’m positive he hates when people take his words, and twists them to benefit their wicked agendas(especially abusive parents who instead of loving their children they exploit them, and rip them of their innocence all the while throwing God in said child’s face to justify their brutal beatings) with that being said what does LEST mean?
For fear that they could become discouraged, resulting in children not having confidence(that could be confidence in themselves, or in the parent that is raising them.) Not being able to trust the parent, you see God told me(I thank Him for His mercy EVERYDAY) is that when He told children to “Honor their Mother and Father so that their days could be long on this earth” (a commandment with a promise) He also wanted parents to raise their children in an environment that revolves around the instruction, and discipline of the Lord(Ephesians 6:4) because in order for a household to grow it has to be in order. Children need parents to show them how to be successful adults not only physically, but also SPIRITUALLY. Not an environment that revolves around the discipline, and instruction of a narcissistic controlling abusive parent(s) who thinks that they are your God, but that’s why I think religious narcs are the worst because they take the Lord’s holy words, and they desecrate them. I’ll bet my last breathe that my narc mother doesn’t even know that these scripture are in the Holy Bible, but then again I’m positive she would find some type of way to justify her sadistic torture on me not just me, but also my siblings(I’m just the only one brave enough to come on out and expose this resulting in me displaying mutiny in this corrupted family system.)
Religious narc parents are the worst, because they keep their victims(children) on a string of abuse that revolves around God so these children not only get abused physically, but also spiritually as well. They cherry pick scriptures that goes with their toxic agenda all the while it leaves their victim blaming God because as well all know He is (awesome 😍) omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. So surely “He sees the abuse, why doesn’t He stop it?”, asks the victim causing children to doubt God, or in many cases of narc abuse by parent(s) causes children to view God as just as abusive as the parent. But as His word says(He is not the author of confusion)
And we all know that bring in a narcissistic, abusive, controlling, and demeaning relationship leaves victims confused, it leaves the children blaming God because they don’t know no better or even know that the parent is in full on deceit mode. Because the enemy seeks to kill, steal, and destroy that’s why the religious narc parent throws God at you, to steal your relationship with Him, to kill your passion for His love and truth, and to destroy you from the inside out. In reality they want to be their child’s God I just wanna tell you that religious narc parents don’t love you, hell they don’t even love the Lord, or themselves for that matter that’s why they use God as a weapon but one thing for certain, and two for sure…
The narc is a coward, and they can’t look in the mirror and examine themselves, or even take blame for the wrong they do. That’s why they need a scapegoat you see, these people would even go so far as to say that the Lord approves their sick,evil, and twisted actions. Nothing, and no one is off limits to the religious narc parent(or even a narc) not even God Himself you would think that God would be off limits right?NOPEthey use God as a scapegoat also, and to the innocent that damages their psyche,and their moral judgement of right and wrong. Parents that abuse their children also abuse the relationship the child has with the Lord even before it is formed, because the relationship with the parent(s) is supposed to mold the way the child views God, and if the parent is abusive, and evil the child will just speculate that the Lord is the same way. Until they are able to leave this toxic environment(sadly, most children never get the veil lifted until they go seek the Lord themselves).
Yeah, God does LOVE us He wants to heal you from this pain from the affliction caused by your abuser. SEEK HIM let him lift that veil from your eyes, put your trust in Him. He loves you, and He cares for you I love you so much, and I pray that your path of healing is full of love, confidence, and joy of the Lord of peace. Keep your head up, and please keep walking on this road of healing and recovery towards Him because it’s benefits are sufficient just like His grace is 🌺🌼🌻.
“Thank you for listening! May the Most High rain blessings down on you.<3