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As a abuse survivor I have learned these two things: 1.) That healing is a journey that no one can help you with except Christ, and YOU ALONE must venture on this journey ALONE (with Christ of course.) and 2.)That if you do not get healing from your abuse it can lead you to be filled with bitterness, and resentment not only for your abuser, but you will also resent others who when you tell them your story they quickly shut you out and tell you to get over your abuse without them trying to understand why you feel the way you feel. So what does this mean, and why should healing be important to a abuse victim/survivor? It is important to point out that The Most High God in Heaven never intended for children to be abused let alone abused by their own parents. This creates confusion in the child from a early age it creates a root of bitterness that can last well into adulthood if it is not healed properly. The victim must be willing to walk on this path alone carrying the cross that seems heavy at first, but over time provides them with power of understanding that they do have the strength to overcome through Christ Jesus.
When the Holy Spirit hit me I was in shock, I cried like the little girl I once was when He touched my heart to understand it all started to make sense. That’s when the memories came flooding back into my mind they came rushing like water that pours down from the sky on a rainy day, you know that rain that doesn’t seem to go away but somehow you get comfort in hearing it fall from the sky? Yeah, that’s what I started to experience as I asked God to reveal to me the error in not only my mother’s ways but also the error in my ways there is a scripture in the word that says”, With thy getting get understanding“.
My mother was a woman who was also abused by her mother, she was also grew up without her father or without ever knowing who he was. She was also battling the hurt of her inner child, my mother was like so many other women who come out of these childhood settings. They translate their weaknesses onto their children leaving them feeling shame and bitterness that was first felt by the original abuser the children who get a taste of the anguish never really escape the feelings that was transmitted onto them until they heal. She actually emulated to us what had been done to her the same hurts, and agonies that plagued her she simply passed them on instead of her voicing her hurt or calling out to Christ for healing she tried to pretend so desperately that everything was okay.
I hurt, and I cry a lot not only for me and not only for my mother but for all the victims of abuse that also go through this. The effects that it leaves in a victims heart leaves them plagued with loneliness, and desolation and that is just what the enemy wants for you to feel. Loneliness and traumatized without fully understanding that Christ can truly fill the void in your heart. His word says that he will give you a new heart, and that when you are in Christ you are a new creation and that is something that the enemy doesn’t want you to partake in. He doesn’t want you having the strength that God Himself ordained you to have as His Word states, “I Can Do All Things Through Christ That Strengths Me”(Philippians 4:13) and that includes having the strength to understand. One must be willing to allow the Holy Spirit to overflow in them so proper healing and mending can take place, I had to let him open my heart to gain understanding in why my mother was so abusive without feeling anger, and hurt. So the questions I have to the abuse survivor is this, Do you think that your problems are too big for Yahweh to solve? That your hurts are to great for Him to heal? Regardless of what anyone tells you the most important decision you can make as a abuse victim is to let Jesus Christ come into your heart so that proper healing can take place.
Pick one of these for yourself: Victor Vs. Victim, Pain vs. Power, Life Vs. Death, Good vs. Evil. Healing Vs Hurting. Righteousness vs. Wickness.
Choose this day what garbage you will let fill up your home. I chose to let Jesus Christ Heal my Heart, and Mind from the abuse that plagued me. He made me a Victor of childhood abuse, He broke the chains so that I will not keep the cycle going but instead I will prevent it. I am healing from not only my childhood abuse but also my mothers childhood abuse. I have forgiven because I know that I have God’s Glory in my story and with that I will say Amen.
I never really considered how beautiful forgiveness can be, it never crossed my mind because with me being a victim of abuse I could never see how God could make me become a victor and survivor with more to gain from carrying my cross of abuse, neglect, and rejection.I always wanted to see my abuser get their “just deserts”, but what good would come of that? I came to a point in my life that I wanted to mature not only as a person but also with Christ Jesus. I had to really look at myself in the mirror, and examine my own heart, and mind forgiveness is something The Most High God gives me so why not give it to people who done me wrong especially my abusive mother and family members?
I had harbored unforgiveness, and anger in my heart like a dog who hoards dried up bones that he acquires from his owner. When I was a abuse sufferer I always longed to be free, but I never knew in order for me to be free I had to carry my cross of abuse, and pain. Not only carry it but also crucify myself on it, and if I wasn’t willing to get on the cross freely the Most High God would eventually lead me back to a place where I had no other choice but to go on the cross. I found out recently that I had to deny what my flesh desired and that was to see my abusive mother get what she “deserved“, to see the ones who laughed and mocked me get the same treatment they gave me.
The Lord fought me so long on this topic, I wont lie to you I was against it completely until he led me to a verse well a parable, and if you ever have time I suggest you read it one day because honestly I didn’t know this was in the bible.
Its funny I felt like I was justified in carrying around the hatred, and resentment that I had in my heart. I wanted to keep it because a part of me felt comfortable re-singing the same old song over, and over I loved my pity party and I loved being in the middle of the dance floor. It actually became to big of a burden for me to carry around as I went no contact and the Lord gave me ample time and opportunity to think I felt like the baggage of my past became suffocating to me. I’m woman enough to say that it was mandatory for me to forgive them in order for me to go into the next level with Christ in order for me to experience The Most High God in ways that I can ascertain.
One thing that Yahweh-Shalom taught me on this journey of healing, and finding myself and building a closer relationship with Christ is that the best medicine for any abuse survivor is understanding. Understanding not only allows you to have empathy for others, but it also allows you to love and have empathy for your abuser because God has love and empathy for you. Ask Jesus Christ He has the prescription for all the pain, and hurts that you too also experience. 🛐😇
❥ – Thank you for reading. Have a Blessed Day and Forgive it will be the BEST decision you ever made it was the best decision I made and I Praise The Most High God for it. Love Always, Danyah ❥