I grew up in an abusive household so I don’t trust easily. I learned early on that many people aren’t who they claim to be, and many aren’t to be trusted. I look back on my life and I believe that The Most High wanted me to have the trials I endured so that from my experiences I can really reach for Him amongst the lies that this world dished out at me. The hurts I have experienced have not only made me stronger, but also wiser it has strengthen my moral and made me understand that not everyone who claims to love Yahweh really loves Him many people only love themselves, and they are very selfish. They look at your kindness as weakness, like vultures circling a dying animal in the wilderness.
I have recently come to terms with the fact that 85% of the people in this world are full of it they speak with double tongues, and they blend the holy and the unholy together all while having their hearts far from The Most High Yahweh. I trust NO ONE, many people don’t even know who they are they just go by what society tells them. A lot of these people don’t know El Shaddai, nor do they want to know Him many people claim they love him with their mouths but their hearts are extremely far from Him. They actually hate Him, they tear apart His words and worship other gods they support pagan customs and they love bathing in their ignorance.
I am starting to realize that many people are simple minded and they look to Christ as a last resort sort of like a “in case of a emergency” type of deal, rather than Christ loves me so much He died for me so let me live my life in a way that honors Him. 85% of the people rather worship idols, and turn to demons to get a quick fix happy meal rather than seeking the Most High to understand their calling and purpose here on Earth. Whether you like to believe it or not you aren’t here to worship yourself, and your life shouldn’t be fixated on selfish desires.
Coming to terms with the toxic childhood has made me equip with some of the greatest tools in being able to detect deception, and falsehood. Every now and again life throws me a whammy, but this is when I go to my Creator Yahweh, and I ask Him to refine me to change my thinking so that I can keep walking on this narrow path to Him despite the evilness I see people doing, and the blasphemy I hear them saying. I choose to not trust anything at face value, we as followers of Christ must guard not only our light, but also our truth. We must test the spirits to see if they are from Yahweh.
I’m wandering, but I’m not lost. I just choose to trust in Yahweh to guide me in all truth amongst the treachery. I thank you Yahweh Ben Yahweh for the sacrifice you have done for me, thank You for shedding Your blood for me. Thank You for making a way for me to connect to You. Its been a long time since I posted I just been busy, soaking in new revelation that Yahweh is giving me.
Disclaimer: Your words can have the BIGGEST IMPACT ON SOMEONE, even on YOURSELF we can either build each other up with kindness or break each other down with cruelty. Always be cautious of how you use your words because in your mouth is LIFE and DEATH.
Meeting new people is always a exhilarating experience for me, I love talking but I especially love talking to new people. And listening to their kind words always make my heart melt, and one simple thought of consideration makes me smile because it shows me that we do have light in the midst of darkness and I can thank forfriendswithoutborders.wordpress.com because He nominated me for The Kindness Award.
Thank you Rob , (The V Pub) Your awesome💖
Thank the person nominating you, and tag them.
Write a paragraph or more on the experience of an act of kindness or something you have read or seen, or done, yourself
Nominate three people who have to follow the rules and do the same as written above
Paste and copy the picture from above on your post. Let the people you nominated know they have been nominated
As I said in the beginning I love meeting new people I work in a doctor’s office so I meet a lot of different people everyday. There was this one lady that came in to get her annual check up I noticed that she was jittery she was also very talkative, and self-conscious in the middle of her pre-exam she opened up to me about her insecurities, and why as a lady in her mid 50s she was so anxious. She told me about her childhood, and how she had a abusive narcissistic father, and how she was badly damaged from the years of verbal, and physical trauma she endured throughout her childhood. My heart immediately sank because I also went through the same things that she expressed she looked at me after she told me a little bit of her history I guess she was assuming I was gonna be like the rest of the world, and dismiss her hurts as petty problems that should be let go and thrown into the sea. I looked at the lady as tears started to weld up in my eyes, and I hugged her so tight I hugged her and I told her it’s gonna be okay I understand the same pain that she carries in her spirit. I told this patient that The Most High looks after children like us the hardest because He knows we were damaged even before we became complete that He is the only one that can heal and help us and that He wont FORSAKEN us. I told her that people who don’t go through this type of abuse would never understand feeling the pain of having a mother/father that doesn’t love them. I hugged that lady so tight, praying that the words of encouragement that The Lord planted in my heart became seeds in that sweet lady’s soul. Everyone just wants someone to listen to their pain. Like I said in the beginning your words are either Life or DEATH choose wisely and please be kind we are all fighting a different battle. Being Kind is the Best Free Gift.
Now for the best part nominating three people(I don’t know how to tag hopefully someone will help me) I decided to nominate three of the kindest people I have met so far on my blogging journey. I’m hoping that they can spread their kindness to you also just like they have spread it to me.
Growing up in my childhood home,I never really had an identity I can remember how I cried a lot in middle school, and also high school. Crying that’s all I knew I felt it was the only way for me to have an outlet for my pain besides,who could I tell or better yet who would listen to a child talk about the pain they were experiencing? I would be deemed crazy, as I sat at the dinner table with tears running down my young face while my abusive mother kept on serving dinner with a grimace look on her face. No words of concern, or even an ounce of care fell from my mothers lips because as we know in black cultureSTRONG BLACK WOMEN don’t cry, or even show affection its a sign of weakness so my narc family would just stare at me laughing as the pain escaped my eyes, and trailed down my cheeks.
I’m only hoping that your worried about the title(Iwould be), you must think that Danyah(call me Dee please) thinks The Most High God is a God that’s for this type of sadistic narcissistic abuse(torture)? He’s a God that wants children to praise, and bow down to wickedness even though it’s the parent that’s the one serving up toxic behavior like it’s a lunch special at your favorite seafood restaurant. No matter how EXTREME the abuse is, no matter how two-faced, terrible, and treacherous the parent(s) are He wants us as victims to suck it up, get over it because I’m sure every abused child that is a victim of narc abuse by proxy knows this scripture….
What happens when “sparing the rod” becomes a more sinister, and forbidding ordeal? Does the Most High really sit on His throne in heaven watching this perilous abuse occur all the while clapping, and cheering our abusers on with a complacent grin on His beautiful face? I used to think that honestly, I wont even lie to you I really did hell your talking to a woman who didn’t think she would make it pass 18, let alone have children(because she was too stupid, and crazy or the famous line “she cant even take care of herself“). She was so brainwashed that she thought if she didn’t speak to her abusive mother that the Most High would hate her, nah not just HATE HER, but also exact vengeanceon her
Like I said at the beginning, growing up in my narc family system I never had an identity( I wasn’t allowed to evolve) whatever our domineering matriarch of a mother said it was counted as scripture. So when she would make smug comments about the Bible, and told us in a mocking way of the Lords words how we should “Honor your Mother and Father so your days could be long on this earth” I automatically assumed as a young child that the abuse that was being administered was something that gave Him great pleasure, and that it was also something that God approved of. With every beating that my mother put on me not only physically, she also didn’t waste any time breaking me down spiritually during this time I lost piece after piece of myself. I would often wonder in the midst of all this abuse if God loved me, because the horrors my mother put me through sure didn’t reflect love instead it reflected envy, jealously, pain, affliction, and turmoil (the list goes on, and on).Like many abusive narcissistic mothers(sadly) they reflect a image of envy, jealous, and hatred not only for their children, but its like its a projection of how they feel about themselves, so throwing God in there isn’t even off limits to them if anything they have too much pride in their hearts so they believe in their heads that they are ENTITLED to use the Most High God as a weapon too. Its even so bad that these type of religious Narc mothers (I’m talking about my experience now lets get deeper) they believe that God is on their side in the midst of all this madness.
So yeah,my mother would cherry pick that scripture all time she used manipulative tactics to make it seem as God was against me, and all for her abuse. But what about Colossians 3:21?
Let’s break this ⬆️scripture down because as the Glorious Most High word says in 2 Timothy 2:15.
That’s right No SHAME in my game(because I’m adamant that this message will help someone who also has went through what I went through)So what was the Most High talking about in Colossians 3:21? Lets divide this truth down it says” Fathers, PROVOKE not your CHILDREN to ANGER, lest they become DISCOURAGED. Now lets break down these bold out words because I would hate to assume that many people don’t know the meanings of these words(or even know that this scripture is in the Holy Bible).
Father then goes on to say “Lest they become DISCOURAGED now what do these words mean? Discouraged means to deprive of courage or confidence(let’s go a step further) what does confidence mean?
See how it says the feeling that one can rely on someone or something; FIRM TRUST. So basically(your probably like can she get to the point right?) what I got from this is that parents aren’t supposed to make their children angry to the point where they resent them, they most certainly shouldn’t belittle their children bully their children, or make their children fear them in a way that isn’t godly but demonizing, and menacing. But what the religious narc fails to realize is The Most High hates haughtiness, and I’m positive he hates when people take his words, and twists them to benefit their wicked agendas(especially abusive parents who instead of loving their children they exploit them, and rip them of their innocence all the while throwing God in said child’s face to justify their brutal beatings) with that being said what does LEST mean?
For fear that they could become discouraged, resulting in children not having confidence(that could be confidence in themselves, or in the parent that is raising them.) Not being able to trust the parent, you see God told me(I thank Him for His mercy EVERYDAY) is that when He told children to “Honor their Mother and Father so that their days could be long on this earth” (a commandment with a promise) He also wanted parents to raise their children in an environment that revolves around the instruction, and discipline of the Lord(Ephesians 6:4) because in order for a household to grow it has to be in order. Children need parents to show them how to be successful adults not only physically, but also SPIRITUALLY. Not an environment that revolves around the discipline, and instruction of a narcissistic controlling abusive parent(s) who thinks that they are your God, but that’s why I think religious narcs are the worst because they take the Lord’s holy words, and they desecrate them. I’ll bet my last breathe that my narc mother doesn’t even know that these scripture are in the Holy Bible, but then again I’m positive she would find some type of way to justify her sadistic torture on me not just me, but also my siblings(I’m just the only one brave enough to come on out and expose this resulting in me displaying mutiny in this corrupted family system.)
Religious narc parents are the worst, because they keep their victims(children) on a string of abuse that revolves around God so these children not only get abused physically, but also spiritually as well. They cherry pick scriptures that goes with their toxic agenda all the while it leaves their victim blaming God because as well all know He is (awesome 😍) omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. So surely “He sees the abuse, why doesn’t He stop it?”, asks the victim causing children to doubt God, or in many cases of narc abuse by parent(s) causes children to view God as just as abusive as the parent. But as His word says(He is not the author of confusion)
And we all know that bring in a narcissistic, abusive, controlling, and demeaning relationship leaves victims confused, it leaves the children blaming God because they don’t know no better or even know that the parent is in full on deceit mode. Because the enemy seeks to kill, steal, and destroy that’s why the religious narc parent throws God at you, to steal your relationship with Him, to kill your passion for His love and truth, and to destroy you from the inside out. In reality they want to be their child’s God I just wanna tell you that religious narc parents don’t love you, hell they don’t even love the Lord, or themselves for that matter that’s why they use God as a weapon but one thing for certain, and two for sure…
The narc is a coward, and they can’t look in the mirror and examine themselves, or even take blame for the wrong they do. That’s why they need a scapegoat you see, these people would even go so far as to say that the Lord approves their sick,evil, and twisted actions. Nothing, and no one is off limits to the religious narc parent(or even a narc) not even God Himself you would think that God would be off limits right?NOPEthey use God as a scapegoat also, and to the innocent that damages their psyche,and their moral judgement of right and wrong. Parents that abuse their children also abuse the relationship the child has with the Lord even before it is formed, because the relationship with the parent(s) is supposed to mold the way the child views God, and if the parent is abusive, and evil the child will just speculate that the Lord is the same way. Until they are able to leave this toxic environment(sadly, most children never get the veil lifted until they go seek the Lord themselves).
Yeah, God does LOVE us He wants to heal you from this pain from the affliction caused by your abuser. SEEK HIM let him lift that veil from your eyes, put your trust in Him. He loves you, and He cares for you I love you so much, and I pray that your path of healing is full of love, confidence, and joy of the Lord of peace. Keep your head up, and please keep walking on this road of healing and recovery towards Him because it’s benefits are sufficient just like His grace is 🌺🌼🌻.
“Thank you for listening! May the Most High rain blessings down on you.<3