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1. You realize they use scripture as a weapon and often MISQUOTE IT to make you submit to their evils. Everything they say and do goes against the Word of God and when you do point this out to them, they take it as your trying to be “holier than thou”, or that you think you are better than them. The Word allows you to see through them and they do not like that. (Example: They are QUICK to throw up the 17-year-old you when you are 32… or they tell you that since you are not honoring them you will die early, but they leave out how parents should not provoke their children to anger)
2. When you need help you are often ignored, mistreated, or made to feel like a burden you are often the one who gets called upon when others need assistance. Your help is always wanted if not EXPECTED. (Your questions and concerns often get dismissed as useless complaints.)
3. Dealing with your toxic mother, father, siblings etc. takes more out of you than you can bear you often have a pensive attitude towards them. (Pensive definition- feeling sad while deep in thought) You often question yourself as to why your family treats you so bad, when you really do not do anything that contributes to their abuse questions turn into tears that fall down your face.
4. When you have approached your family members about the toxicity, and dysfunction they sweep it under the rug, and downplay your concerns they typically take up for the abuser(s) and throw them a pity party to make your feel stupid for even questioning their evil.
5. The more you think about your childhood, the more you realize that you were set up for failure. Family prized demoralized behavior, and worshipped abuse under the guise of love. You were not taught about real world values to help you succeed as an adult.
6. When you try to get your life right (Examples: Getting closer to Yahweh, getting off drugs, going to school, eating right and working out, getting married and starting a family etc.) They do all they can to destroy any ounce of positivity in your life it is like they sit back and devise plans to destroy your happiness they frown on you making righteous decisions ESPECIALLY if you are moving into a direction where you will NO LONGER be dependent on them. (Which leads me to number 7)
7. They want you to be dependent on them so that they can control you, and the moment when you show any ounce of independence instead of being happy for you (like any healthy person would be) they do all they can to destroy your progress. (Examples: telling you that you will fail, cursing you (my mother did this to me), starting fights with you, turning people against you with lies and speculation)
8. They do not want you to grow, and when you do show signs of growing, they have no problem showing you how jealous and envious they are of you. (All the while making comments about how they are not jealous of you)
9. As you get older you start to realize that they do not know you at all. They take more from you than they give. Your kindness is often mistaken for weakness, and love is replaced with angst. (Angst- a feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity.)
10. They never take accountability for their behavior, they never own up to their mistakes, and they are quick to blame YOU for the pain that they afflicted on you. **WARNING- THIS IS A MANIPULATION TACTIC STRONG WITCHCRAFT. (Example: When I was 17 my mother kicked me out on the street, and I was living in a homeless shelter (that she dropped me off too) she would always tell me that it was my fault that she kicked me out and she had to do it because I was destroying her home, I would then feel bad, and apologize along with blaming myself for being homeless.)