😷Detoxing from A Drug Called (Parental) Abuse 💉💊

Growing up in this type of household the child that experiences this type of abuse never feels good enough no matter what they do, no matter what achievements sit on their mantle. When you go around your narcissistic parent you are never comfortable you will always feel as though you are walking on eggshells, you also feel as though you are on a witness stand and everything you say is constantly being examined. Normally children who come from this setting always feel that they need their mother(or fathers) approval(if they go no contact they can turn into people pleasers, or they are always looking for attention from their spouse, friends, or even in the work environment). They need constant validation from their surroundings and if the person does not get it they slowly sink into a feeling of isolation, and emotional abandonment with a extreme backlash of social anxiety.

“Fathers can also make you feel like this”

Victims of abuse always feel the need to over appreciate things that people may do for them the victim always has an urge to over apologize if they make a simple mistake because the narc has programmed their victim to take blame for problems that the narcissist actually caused (in steps scapegoat). The victim also has the tendency to place people on a remarkably high pedestal and when people tend to let them down(as humans do because alas we are only human) the victim can shift into a self analytical picking at their flaws, and blaming themselves for the fickle behavior that the other party displayed. They have strong trust issues, and they tend to not show their true self to others out of fear of being ridiculed, and rejected they have learned not to tell others about their abuse because the abuser gets defended as being a caring parent, and the victim as an ungrateful child who should just,” bury the hatchet, or your being overdramatic”.

The narcissist rewrites old memories always making you out to be the bad guy all the while minimizing their involvement, and their actions to make you feel sorry for the things the narc actually inherently did wrong(shifting blame to an innocent victim). The narc may broadcast how good he/she is a person to outsiders, and puts on a grandiose behavior on how much she/he helps people. Strangely enough when you call the narc for help they twist it around to make you feel worthless, and like an extreme burden of a failure the narc from this type of family dynamic always makes you feel guilty when your around them(like I said before about old memories). These evil people have a way of pulling a story back from 10 years ago to throw it in your face(my mother would tell me how when I was in her womb I didn’t move and when I came out my eyes were red so I was evil). They make you feel guilty for being you, and not thinking like them or agreeing to their dictative structures the victim typically rebels at a early age because they can sense the sinister energy from the abuser. The victim heart beats extremely fast when the narc’s name appears on their caller ID unsure of how the narc will approach them in conversation.

The narc loves to remind you that you will always “need” them (they will push the scripture, “Honor thy Mother and Father”) all the while they act in a dishonorable way inducing fear, and turmoil in the victims life forcing them without a shadow of doubt to feel as though they do not belong causing them to question The Most High, and also their morality because of the abuse that happens in this toxic environment. Victims when they grow older, and start to live, and work in the world can’t accept corrective criticism (even if it comes from a loving source) they typically develop severe anxiety and they shut down because all they can hear is the abuser yelling, and belittling them. The abuser normally calls the truthteller(scapegoat) crazy they systematically over the years program everyone in the family to see the truthteller(scapegoat) as nothing more than a crazy, downtrodden psychopath they do this to the point that they make the victim question their own mind. The abuser is crafty in doing this type of warfare because it breaks down the victim they see as a “problem” because they know that with this child there is a risk of exposure to the abuse that they administer.

Is there hope? The only hope that a victim that suffers from this traumatic abuse has is to go NO CONTACT once the abused leave this toxic environment they will then gain clarity once they research, and venture out they will start to understand slowly and surely that the abuser has, and will always be the PROBLEM! Save yourself many years of pain, and TROUBLE by DETOXING FROM ABUSE TODAY! May the Most High Yahweh Heal your heart on this path of healing like He is doing mines. Have a Blessed Detox, and always remember treat yourself good because no one else will(well Christ will) ❤ Adieu 💚

Stay Blessed, Stay Strong Hope Filled && Yah Willed Until Next time on “Talks with Danyah”🕊️🌸

My Trust Issues, and Insecurities 💔

Okay!! I admit it I have trust issues I lack confidence, I’m a very self-conscious person I overthink I feel ugly sometimes, and lately I feel as though I’m a alien that came from a different planet and I was left here or maybe the mothership has forgotten me? I don’t trust easily, nor do I believe ANYTHING anyone tells me I had to learn the hard way that actions speak louder than words, that simple “I love you’s” or “I had to do it for your own good”, were all just words used to cover up someone else’s wrong doing to put a lid on someone else’s evil conduct. They were used because a abuser didn’t want to do self-analyzation they instead chose to project their faults, and evils on an innocent child who couldn’t even comprehend the toxic environment that was brewing, and bubbling around them.

No one told me this instead the Most High showed me this the world can be cold, and cruel but it’s also up to you to not allow negativity, and bitterness to rule over your mind and captivate your spirit leaving you in bondage. This allows your environment to become a breeding ground for darkness I think as mortals we try to be our own god, that’s why so many people seek to control others the reason why we hear so many stories of children getting abused, and mistreated. And if you talk to these children once they become adults they will tell you that their abuser was also mistreated and abused the cycle goes on, and on and on (we call this generational curses).

This is my wallpaper on my computer screen 💖

Yeah! I have had trust issues, and sometimes I shy away from Yahweh but one thing is for certain I wouldnt blame Him for no wrongdoings that occured to me. If anything the wrongdoings that occured to me only made me seek Him harder, from this day forward I Danyah choose Yahweh, I choose Christ, I choose happiness over hopelessness. I choose everyday to praise and to serve the God of Israel, I choose to NOT be a prisoner to the past instead I choose to open my heart up to the Most High so He can provide the best healing for me. He can renew my soul, and refine my mind, Lord if Your reading this I choose to let go of my trust issues, and to trust in You. I want to experience Your love in ways thats unforgettable so I can love others, and tell others. So be it🌼.

I thank Yahweh for Yahweh! And Yahweh He’s in control of everything that’s around us and He sees all and He knows ALL.

Why I changed my number, and how He changed my thought process 🕊️💝

It finally set in, they don’t know me; they don’t know us victims of narcissistic abuse normally walk around with a rain cloud over their heads. They live life like an ostrich with its head in the sand (they ignore and hide from obvious signs of danger small or large). Like oil sticks to your hands even after you wash them over and over again, so does the wounds from abuse they prick your heart like a thorn on a rose, and it damages you the same it damages spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Victims are normally plagued by these demons long after the abuse has stopped(or they went No Contact with no closure) they often detach from their surroundings, and more than often they feel like they can’t tell their closest friends,spouses(or anybody) about the symptoms that has plagued their thought processes throughout the years even if the abuse is long over.

“The aftermath of abuse leaves you feeling alone, and isolated the victim often feels like no one will understand them or ever love them for them.”

But I’m assuming your asking yourself (I thought she was talking about her changing her number, or didn’t she say she was telling us why she changed her damn cellphone number?) Let me reiterate, they don’t know me, they never knew me, and they don’t deserve to get the chance to know me one thing the Most High Yah help me realize on my healing journey that He so mercifully sent me on is my abusers/enablers/flying monkeys/abuser supporters don’t know me(the real Dee). They also don’t know you, just sit down for a moment and think about it they only know a false image projected onto you, it’s funny now that I think about it. I told my FM sister (three years before I finally got fed with the Narc family structure) that she didn’t know me… she kept implying, insisting, and ranting that she did all the while she had a glazed, dazed, and confused look on her face. A couple of things that the Lord has put in my spirit is “Just because you grow up in the same household as these people doesn’t mean that they know you they would like to THINK they know you.

SAME HERE TOO

When the stark reality hits you that you are a victim of narcissistic abuse, or any type of abuse in reality you shouldn’t be sad, hurt, or angry. He said “Rejoice!” Rejoice because your abusers knew, and seen you were strongest out the bunch not led captive by their web of deceit they seen you as the one who could break their mirror of deception, and fight the lies that they want to imprint in your mind and spirit. Not being casted into a spell of wickedness, but rather escape to walk onto that narrow path of RIGHTEOUSNESS. He whispered into my heart (my mind my spirit)”They seen the purity in your soul Dee, the unquenchable zeal in your eyes Dee, and they heard the courage beating from your pure heart”. Your abusers are so envious that they couldn’t obtain the very traits that the Most High blessed you with from birth, they couldn’t rob you of it, so they wanted to blind you of it. Luckily, the Most High shall exalt us above our abuse.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Stay Humble, Be healed, ACCEPT His Happiness! Because Yahweh Shammah cares for us!

-Glory be to God

I changed my number, because I’m tired of the lies they tell me, I’m tired of pretending everything is okay, and they didn’t hurt me. I’m tired of seeing blocked calls come up from abusers, and enablers who just want to barge into my life to control it and to patronize me. I’m SICK of seeing fake text messages as if they really care about me. It wont ever be the same, and oddly enough they know that, but I don’t give a damn if they DO OR DON’T because I know it wont be the same I’m not the same person anymore. The same little girl who accepted abuse, and pushed her own feelings,and emotions into a garbage can. Now I’m child of the Most High, a wife, and a mother how did the Lord change my thought process you may wonder? He helped me understand that all they want to do is STEAL from us, STEAL our happiness, STEAL our healing, STEAL our families that the Most High gave us. They want to KILL the new man, and bring back the old one who tolerated their abuse. But isn’t there a scripture for this scenario?…….

“Yeah we are OVERCOMERS”

Thank you so much for reading my blog, May the Most High bless you on your path to healing, and recovery. Be Blessed. Until we talk again next time.

-Dee🙏🏾

Drumroll….Please?🌸

“Just a friendly introduction”

Hey! Let me just take a moment out to welcome you to my blog! Let me introduce myself my name is Danyah or just call me Dee (short && sweet). I’m making this blog to open up about my struggles, experiences, and healing from narcissistic abuse. I also wanna talk about the side effects that can occur from it the spiritual, emotional and mental effects that can leave a person with lifelong scars that can leave them feeling alone, scared, and confused. But of course, the healing that is taking place in my life comes from The Most High Yah (God) Christ is the ONLY one who can help any of us heal from this TOXIC abuse, and its effects. I’m just here to lend a ear, and to hopefully have a ear hear my stories, and to walk with me on this road to recovery. Because as His Word says,(“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;) –Isaiah 61:1

“John 8:36”

People need to be more aware of narcissistic abuse, we need to spread as much awareness about this topic as possible. Sadly its more than often swept under the rug (in many cultures, and also in society). The abuse that I endured in my childhood still affects me till this day, some days are better than most and I thank The Most High for that. Narcissistic abuse is an epidemic that tramples down households, it breaks up marriages it ruins families relationships(in my case mother/daughter relationship) Being the Scapegoat you often feel very isolated from the world, you also have this shame that you carry with yourself all the time. So why is this abuse so normalized in society? I have the tendency to feel like in the black culture its tolerated even more so.(I’m black also). The good news is I’m well (WE) are breaking out of this prisoners hellhole of ABUSE, WE ARE SURVIVORS, WE ARE OVERCOMERS,WE ARE CONQUERERS!! ALL THANKS TO THE MOST HIGH GOD IN HEAVEN. Because Christ is the One who sets the captives free, and whoever the Son sets free…… is free INDEED.!!!

❤
“Much Love to all who suffering, and are also on the road to recovery from this abuse”