🕊️The Pain that comes with going No contact {Abuse Awareness}

Link to my YouTube https://youtu.be/qZGI5jkKiQQ

After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.

Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside.  When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement.  They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.

Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:

  • You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
  • To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
  • If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
  • Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.

They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!

FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!

If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

God is Healing 🕊️

I almost had a relapse today. I thought about all the things I went through in my childhood and how abuse made me feel so dissociated with reality. I knew this was an attack from the enemy I must be close to something that God has in store for me, and that’s my healing. People who grow up in abuse or those who become entangled in abuse often struggle with identity crisis, and most if not all tend to think that God has forgotten about them. Today I was honest with Jesus, and I told Him how I felt. How long does it take to heal? Is healing a everyday process? I am starting to believe it is everyday I must seek to be renewed and not conformed to the world, and also not letting my past dictate me.

I will stand on His Word, I will be unafraid. I’m tired of being flaky I understand now that my flakiness is a result of the trauma that I went through in my childhood. It causes me not to trust easily, it causes me to run from everyone including my Creator it leaves me with permanent fig leaves that I want removed. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of hurting. I just want You Lord to Heal me I just want to be grounded in You and Your Love. Please Lord be my Yahweh Rapha, I know you will only be if I allow you too. Remove these fig leaves from me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.{♥}

I chose to stand on this, In Jesus Christ name AMEN!

Sabbath Prologue: Tree of Life (It’s Coming)

Only a message from the Lord as I am guided to type these words I am deeply grieved at the spiritual state of man and the levels of UNBELIEF that permeates the world. So many are CALLED but FEW ARE CHOSEN. Have you ever stopped to question why.. Have you ever wondered why…… The wages of sin is death, but we have eternal life through Jesus Christ! What makes a man chosen?? What makes him righteous this broken world has broken up the flock they have desecrated the things of The Living El Shaddai all because they will not turn from their WICKED WAYS. Time and time again you are showed what happens when a nation turns it’s back on God and rejects Him and His prophets and time and time again the people do not listen. This is just the beginning of many birth pains that will plague the world. Get your HOUSES in ORDER!! REPENT BECAUSE THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS AT HAND.

What about the unbelievers??? Will that stop the Lord Jesus Christ????

Romans 3:3-5 King James Version (KJV) 3  For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect? 4  God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.

Chosen because they will lay their life down for Christ. Chosen because they do not LOVE this life. Chosen because they are pure in heart, and The Good LORD chose them from the start. Repent! SEEK the Lord while He can be found. The COVID-19 is just the beginning of worst things to come…… Pray. Rethink where you are in Christ before it’s too late.

Revelation 12:11 King James Version (KJV)

11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Tell Your testimony!!! UPLIFT!!! Plead the BLOOD!!! CALL ON THE LORD LIKE NEVER BEFORE SAINTS! The Lord will protect what is HIS!!

And if you don’t believe Good Luck with that you cannot say you didn’t know even nature bows down to Christ. It’s so clear that God is real why do you harden your heart? Why do you not ask Him to be apart of your life He Loves you so much and He created you to fellowship with Him.

Shalom and Stay Prayed up May El Shaddai Bless you and Protect you. May Christ Enter your heart and fill you with Love His Love surpasses all of our understanding. I love You all! We will get through this we have a mighty and POWERFUL REDEEMER on our side.

Witness Wednesday: Faith Vs. Fear🛡

Proverbs 14:8

There is so much hype going on in the world right now with the COVID-19 many people are panicking and many people think that it’s not that serious. Grocery stores are flooded, lots of people are on edge lots of people are out of work not knowing if they have a job to go back to, after this “blows over”. So much going on it makes me wonder what has happened to man that leads them not to have faith in God? What makes them put faith in a job, or a government system? Does anybody believe that El Shaddai is bigger than a virus? Why are people so worried? Why are people panicking? Shouldn’t this be a time to build up faith rather than fear that is what the enemy wants a world full of FEAR so that he can maneuver silently without being stopped or hindered.

By faith Noah, being warned of God of things not seen as yet, moved with fear, prepared an ark to the saving of his house; by the which he condemned the world, and became heir of the righteousness which is by faith. (Hebrews 11:7 kjv)

Fear can be healthy, or it can be UNHEALTHY. Healthy fear keeps you dependent on God no matter what circumstances you face, no matter how many people are reported to have the virus. It protects believers from pride and being over self-sufficient (especially in a time like this), it causes us to not become selfish but to instead focus on others so that we can be a light amongst the darkness giving hope to those who feel as though they have no hope in a dark world plagued by COVID-19. Healthy fear makes us stand on God’s promises and His word it also causes us to know that He is in CONTROL no matter what goes on around us or what fiery darts the enemy throws at us as believers we must understand that “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world” (1 John 4:4 kjv).

Why panic? Why worry? Why have fear? NONE of these are of God! They are tools that come from the devil and his minions. Unhealthy fear leads into mistrust, anxiety, dread, panic, worry, and the worst of it all DISBELIEF it causes you not to believe in El Shaddai but yourself, and your own strength it causes you to put yourself in the position of God(which is impossible). “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.( 2 Timothy 1:7 kjv). Everything is beyond our control. So why not put our faith in the One who controls it all? Why not praise Him while everyone is panicking. WE ARE NOT OF THE WORLD! Children of the world have no HOPE but we have HOPE our blessed hope is in Christ Jesus who died on the cross for our sins. Fear comes from the enemy, but faith moves mountains it stops the enemy’s reign of terror and puts out the fiery darts that he throws at you instead it leads to us as believers holding up our shield of FAITH stopping the devil right in his tracks.

Stand strong my beloved, and strengthen those who feel fear with the Word of God! Instill hope in them through Jesus Christ standing on His Word, and looking to God’s promises. Rejoice not in darkness but rebel in truth take heed during these times that NO MAN or devil deceives you HOLD UP YOUR SHIELD OF FAITH AND TAKE BACK YOUR MIND. Just think for a minute my beautiful people during this time while you are home with your loved ones get a piece of paper out and write down all the blessings that God has given you, and all the vices he has DELIVERED you from the more you write the more you should let it sink in that with man it is impossible, but with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Have a beautiful blessed day. I love you All! God is way bigger than we can ascertain I’m sure of this. ❤

Witness Wednesday: Self Hatred

Recovering from my childhood trauma has taught me many things, but one thing that has stuck with me is that it was better for me to go to Christ when I was broken rather than going to Him when I figured I was “whole”. For a long time I struggled, and some days I still struggle with feelings of inadequacy I often have self-hatred come in to try to take me captive the more I dealt with these feelings the more I realized that I changed God into this same image that I projected onto myself.

Why do we as humans do this? Why do we anker Christ onto feelings that we feel about ourselves? Resulting in us burning bridges before they are built. Will we ever be good enough? That depends what is your definition of “good”? Have you defined good as a state of perfection that cannot be made manifested in a fallen society? Are you willing to accept that Christ loves us unconditional no matter what, and despite the fact we weren’t good enough He still died for us. Resulting in you accepting His offer by changing how you see Him seeing His sacrifice as a reason on why you should be good rather than why you need to be good.

Everyone deserves to be loved, it’s the hallmark of a humans existence what more can a person ask for? Question is, Do you allow God to love you? Or do you push Him away with your own feelings of self-hatred? When people speak of God do you imagine hatred or do you see love manifested on the cross?

Hebrews 4:15 kjv

Maybe you think I’m foolish because I believe in Christ. Honestly I don’t care what you think, but I will tell you this I’m a BORN again sinner whose in a battle just like you. I’m tired of fighting with my own carnal devices I’m choosing to stick to a Savior who understands my weaknesses and that my fellow reader is where I get my strength from.

We all fall short, it just depends on what you do once you get up……

Witness Wednesday: Volume 1

Narcissistic Mother: Can God Love Me?

My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. – 1 John 3:18 Kjv

Love. What is love? Can love be taught, or does it come naturally to people? Growing up in my abusive narcissistic household I figured love was more of a superficial thing meaning words don’t have to match actions. If I got hit accept it because I love you, if I berate you deal with it because I love you after all I’m your mother and I know what’s “best” for you. As it says in the Word “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise). Love. What is it? Can someone explain it to me? When I was younger I at times felt a lot of guilt because I didn’t have love towards my narcissistic mother I felt ashamed at the fact that I actually resented her, and at one point I actually hated her.

I was never really shown love properly I was shown dysfunction and treated with extreme toxicity to the point that I forgot who I was before I actually knew who I was. I was more or less shown destructive treatment over trivial things that children sometimes did resulting in me sinking deeper, and deeper into myself to hide how hurt and angry I was. Beaten with belt buckles, stripped down to be beaten with extension cords, woken up to be made to sleep outside, and slapped down in front of family at family functions the list of toxicity goes on and on. As I write this tears flood my eyes, as victims of abuse we often question, and ask if God could ever love us. Can The Most High really wipe away the hurt and pain that we feel? Or is God just like my abuser? I mean what is love? Does it even exist?

I actually felt like if His love was anything like my mother’s love then I didn’t want it. When Jesus Christ was upon the earth He never told His disciples that He loved them He let His actions show that He loved them, as the old saying goes “actions speak louder than words”. Going no contact helped me understand that His love isn’t like the cheap superficial love that we get from the world. He also helped me understand that my mother had a lot of hurt in her heart, a lot of pain that she was withholding and instead of going to Christ for healing she chose to push all that pain unto a child that reminded her of herself, and that child was me. I decided that I’m not going to look at myself through the eyes of my mother anymore I am leaving that part of me in the past because being in Christ I am a new creation.

Just think about it.. How can your abuser give you something that wasn’t given to them? How can you receive comfort from someone who was only given chaos? That’s like breaking a doves wing and expecting it to fly… it’s not gonna happen. Hurt people only know how to hurt people it’s not your fault they were hurt the only hurt you can take care of is your own and the only One who can help is Christ. Can the Most High love you? Certainly! Can the Most High wash away those feeling of shame and guilt? Most definitely only if YOU LET HIM! He can love You more than your human mind can fathom, matter of fact He is the embodiment of LOVE. He even tells us how love is, and how it should be “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kjv

Trust Me, God Understands and He knows how you feel. No need to feel guilt and shame that isn’t even yours to begin with. May He comfort you on your healing journey as you walk this narrow path. Amen

🤲🏽Ten Things I Learned while Healing from Childhood Abuse.🔟

Healing takes time, and despite what many people would like you to believe it only up to YOU to understand and conquer your own healing process. Effects from childhood trauma/abuse stays with the recipient long after the abuse was administered. Well anyways here is my list of “Ten things I learned while healing from Childhood Abuse”. May Yahweh Bless you on your healing journey.

  1. The best things in life are Christ. (He makes you free)
  2. Resting on Christ’s word is the ULTIMATE therapy in gaining healing from abuse.
  3. Being the bigger person isn’t easy but it’s worth it in the end Yahweh will only judge you based off your actions not the actions of another person.
  4. Many people won’t understand you (don’t expect them to) Yahweh understands you and that’s the only thing that matters
  5. It’s up to YOU to either break the cycle of abuse, or to keep the cycle going.
  6. Don’t let abuse make you bitter, instead opt for BETTER.
  7. Abuse makes you more aware of how truly toxic people can be and it sharpens your discernment skills as well.
  8. What people say or think about you doesn’t even matter, people who are quick to make warped judgements DO NOT KNOW YOU they certainly don’t know the struggles you have overcome.
  9. While they label, LAUGH you are STRONGER than you appear, and WISER than you seem.
  10. Good days and bad days (everyone had them) it’s up to you to push through with a smile or a frown.

This is a list that I have complied of ten things that I have learned while healing from my childhood abuse. Life happens, and it happens HARD sometimes. I found that crying out to The Most High Yahweh helps me tremendously, He gives me profound strength in this hard world. I pray my list motivates you and encourage you to see the rainbow in the sky, because after all in order to see the rainbow you must first get through the rain. ❤ May Christ comfort you all. Danyah. ❤

This is a real rainbow I seen outside my apartment.

😷Detoxing from A Drug Called (Parental) Abuse 💉💊

Growing up in this type of household the child that experiences this type of abuse never feels good enough no matter what they do, no matter what achievements sit on their mantle. When you go around your narcissistic parent you are never comfortable you will always feel as though you are walking on eggshells, you also feel as though you are on a witness stand and everything you say is constantly being examined. Normally children who come from this setting always feel that they need their mother(or fathers) approval(if they go no contact they can turn into people pleasers, or they are always looking for attention from their spouse, friends, or even in the work environment). They need constant validation from their surroundings and if the person does not get it they slowly sink into a feeling of isolation, and emotional abandonment with a extreme backlash of social anxiety.

“Fathers can also make you feel like this”

Victims of abuse always feel the need to over appreciate things that people may do for them the victim always has an urge to over apologize if they make a simple mistake because the narc has programmed their victim to take blame for problems that the narcissist actually caused (in steps scapegoat). The victim also has the tendency to place people on a remarkably high pedestal and when people tend to let them down(as humans do because alas we are only human) the victim can shift into a self analytical picking at their flaws, and blaming themselves for the fickle behavior that the other party displayed. They have strong trust issues, and they tend to not show their true self to others out of fear of being ridiculed, and rejected they have learned not to tell others about their abuse because the abuser gets defended as being a caring parent, and the victim as an ungrateful child who should just,” bury the hatchet, or your being overdramatic”.

The narcissist rewrites old memories always making you out to be the bad guy all the while minimizing their involvement, and their actions to make you feel sorry for the things the narc actually inherently did wrong(shifting blame to an innocent victim). The narc may broadcast how good he/she is a person to outsiders, and puts on a grandiose behavior on how much she/he helps people. Strangely enough when you call the narc for help they twist it around to make you feel worthless, and like an extreme burden of a failure the narc from this type of family dynamic always makes you feel guilty when your around them(like I said before about old memories). These evil people have a way of pulling a story back from 10 years ago to throw it in your face(my mother would tell me how when I was in her womb I didn’t move and when I came out my eyes were red so I was evil). They make you feel guilty for being you, and not thinking like them or agreeing to their dictative structures the victim typically rebels at a early age because they can sense the sinister energy from the abuser. The victim heart beats extremely fast when the narc’s name appears on their caller ID unsure of how the narc will approach them in conversation.

The narc loves to remind you that you will always “need” them (they will push the scripture, “Honor thy Mother and Father”) all the while they act in a dishonorable way inducing fear, and turmoil in the victims life forcing them without a shadow of doubt to feel as though they do not belong causing them to question The Most High, and also their morality because of the abuse that happens in this toxic environment. Victims when they grow older, and start to live, and work in the world can’t accept corrective criticism (even if it comes from a loving source) they typically develop severe anxiety and they shut down because all they can hear is the abuser yelling, and belittling them. The abuser normally calls the truthteller(scapegoat) crazy they systematically over the years program everyone in the family to see the truthteller(scapegoat) as nothing more than a crazy, downtrodden psychopath they do this to the point that they make the victim question their own mind. The abuser is crafty in doing this type of warfare because it breaks down the victim they see as a “problem” because they know that with this child there is a risk of exposure to the abuse that they administer.

Is there hope? The only hope that a victim that suffers from this traumatic abuse has is to go NO CONTACT once the abused leave this toxic environment they will then gain clarity once they research, and venture out they will start to understand slowly and surely that the abuser has, and will always be the PROBLEM! Save yourself many years of pain, and TROUBLE by DETOXING FROM ABUSE TODAY! May the Most High Yahweh Heal your heart on this path of healing like He is doing mines. Have a Blessed Detox, and always remember treat yourself good because no one else will(well Christ will) ❤ Adieu 💚

Stay Blessed, Stay Strong Hope Filled && Yah Willed Until Next time on “Talks with Danyah”🕊️🌸

Sweet Vs. Bitter: How We Treat Each Other💕

Growing up in my childhood home I always felt a sense of emptiness that still creeps up every now and again just to make me feel a little if not a lot of insecurity. I never was shown genuine love, and now as a woman in my mid 20’s I feel awkward when people display acts of kindness for me, or even when they show how much they appreciate and love me. A abuse victim normally goes through this cycle in their life sometimes they feel so paranoid that everyone is just like their abuser, aiming to steal, kill ,and destroy you with every move they make. Its not hard for me to accept that with the way I was raised it became evident to me that it was hard for me to distinguish good from bad, light from darkness, and sweet from bitter.

Im starting to learn on my healing path with Christ that we as individuals seem to only accept the love that we think we deserve not the love we should have, not only love but thoughts and people we surround ourselves with. I’ve learned that how we treat each other reflects how The Most High will treat us because as His word says you “Reap what you sow” love and kindness does get you far not only with people, but with the Creator Himself. If you treat people with loyalty, and respect it will in turn be handed back to you, if you spread out positivity, and love you will also get it back. As people we tend to attract what we are so ask yourself What am I attracting to myself, or what do I think I deserve in my life?”

It’s funny because I get called sensitive a lot, and people think that I take small things to heart too much, but honestly I’m just in tune to my feelings I’m aware of who I am as a person. That I wont be tied down by abuse anymore, and that I don’t have to accept being mistreated by anyone,and if something hurts or if I’m hurting I will make it known because in this day and age many people are so disconnected from their true selves that they don’t even know who they are. I aim to look at the power in my pain, and to rely on the Lord for my strength because whether any man wants to admit it or not Yahweh is The One who keeps this whole place running, and if He be for me who can be against me?

His word tells me” He will never leave me, nor forsake me“, and I believe them desperately I wont lie to you not even to Him sometimes my past hurts me sometimes I still feel like that little abused girl whose looking for her mother to approve of her, but instead all I’m left with is a woman who was left broken by her abusive mother who was also broken. A woman who will patiently wait for the Lord to deliver her, and to redeem her from her struggles that plague her day to day. I decided that I wont go back because now I’m old enough to stand for what’s true and genuine I used to let my past influence how I treated others, but why be bitter? People often don’t understand me, but that’s okay I’ve learned to do the one thing that most, and many people never learn to do and that is acceptance of self. I accept the way I look, talk, walk, and feel I know that The Most High created us all differently and that’s the most amazing and beautiful thing about being human.

That’s the main reason I treat everyone with sweetness because so many people choose bitterness not because that’s what they want, but because that’s all they were ever shown. So I as a conscious human make the choice to be kind even when bitterness is placed in my path because in doing so I reap the rewards of an eternal Yahweh that is always present, and is always looking out to reward His children not only with gifts but love also. I’m just hoping that the human reading my post also chooses sweetness because it only takes a second to make someone smile, and kindness is a drug worth sharing. Thanks for reading I hope you received edification from this today. Do you agree or disagree? Let me know 🙏🏾💝

Thank You for reading my blog post! Please remember to love yourself because The Most High Loves you. Have a blessed day!!💝

– Until next time on Talks with Danyah !

😱Does Yahweh really call for Me to Honor My Abusive, Narcissistic, and Controlling Mother? (Exodus 20:12) 😬

I’ll be honest with you all here, I used to think that The Most High would hate me if I didn’t talk to my abusive mother. Because in a lot of ways I thought that mother was right all the time so surely The Most High was on her side, but alas evil has it way of manipulating those who are vulnerable, and ignorant to its devices. Growing up in this sinister environment I start getting molded from a early age to accept evil, and that the ambiguous behavior that was occurring from my abuser was normal and if I questioned it I was not only going against my abusive mother but initially God Himself.

What’s actually dishonoring a parent? Dishonoring a parent to me is simply bad mouthing them to people, calling them out their name to people. Plotting evil on them and telling people how you wish to do them in wishing death on them. Dishonoring a parent isn’t when you stop associating with them it just simply means you acknowledge them for who they are. The Most High God Yahweh gives everyone free will to do what they want, and to be who THEY want to be. Honestly it isn’t your job to change anybody the only one you can actually change is yourself, and the only one who can change anybody is Yahweh but that is only if the participate wants change themselves.Normally narcs don’t want change, nor do they desire to seek change because they feel that they are right and that they have authority to behave the way they deem fit. In such cases we call people like these reprobates the Bible even tells us so.†

Let me tell you one thing that I learned on my path of healing with The Most High your giving the negativity of your relationship with your narcissist energy when you bad mouth them or express how much you dislike them. That’s how demonic beings thrive and profit off you that’s how they drain your energy. I used to live in a cycle of hurt, regret, and shame until I actually got older, and I went no contact then I started to form my own relationship with The Most High.

I had to choose on that very day that I went no contact did I want to worship The Most High Yahweh, or did I want to worship my abusive controlling narcissistic mother? The Most High told me in order for us to have a successful intimate relationship I had to let my entire family go, because with them under the control of my abusive mother I would never have spiritual growth. Instead of being able to get closer to The Most High and the revelations that He provided they would be damaged by my family who claimed to know The Most High ,and worship Him but in actuality they were worshipping my narcissistic mother. My mother never loved Yahweh she didn’t even know Him or care to have a relationship with Him, she just always cherry picked that scripture about “Honor thy Mother and Father so your days can be long on this earth” so that she could make it look like The Most High was on her side while she abused me. I feel like that was a tactic used by the devil to make me turn my back on God, and to never actually pursue a relationship with Him, but as we can see it didn’t work.

I honor my abuser my accepting her for who she is I am not expecting change from her. I accept that the projections that were placed on me weren’t part of what lurked inside of me but actually my mother. My mother is sick, and she has issues my whole family all my siblings each have their own battles they are facing but they are keeping up the false façade that everything is normal. They forsaken me, and The Most High took me in they abandoned me and He accepted me into His home.

“Time is called The Most High in my book”

If you don’t feel at peace about it in your spirit then its not from The Most High Yahweh, if you are around someone and they make you feel uncomfortable or they are always making you feel unimportant. If they are always talking down to you, or they look at you will evil intent, cut these people off I had to cut my entire family off because I didn’t want to keep up the generational curse I wanted to destroy them. Do I regret it? No and neither will you. I pray someone gets edification from this post.

Have a Blessed and beautiful day. -DanYah❦