What is this world coming too?🥺🥺😪🤔

Food for thought: You are either getting closer to Christ or you are far away from Christ. The good news is that God can forgive you for your sins just ask for forgiveness with a remorseful heart. May God Bless You. Amen ❤👑😇

In this day and age I can see that we are in the end of days. Many people do not wanna acknowledge this but even a person who is not walking in the light can see that something sinister is in the air. People are becoming more narcissistic, and the demons that plaque them they are unleashing upon others.

I meet a lot of people. And one things we all have in common is that we all feel that something is on the horizon. This can be good for some, or bad for others one thing that I try to hold onto is my faith in Jesus Christ.

That’s all you really can do is trust in the Lord. Many people don’t believe but that will not stop His promises nor will it hinder His arrival. I long for you Jesus, to be in Your Divine presence.

This world is getting worst, and if you cant see that maybe your part of the problem and not the solution.

Jesus is coming soon. The mark is coming soon. Famine and wars are coming. Where do you stand? Who do you believe in? Do you have a strong foundation in Christ??

God’s power will be seen all over the world. So whether you believe or not, you will see HIM. May God bless you all and give you Divine strength during these trying times we are close.

Sabbath Songs: Rest 😌🏝

I crave to rest in the Lord

I want to rest in my King

I praise You Lord for loving me

We are wayward children who really need your love

Thank you Lord for watching us from above

Thank you Christ for setting me free

Thank You Jesus for having mercy

I will give You my best

Because only You Lord give me rest

Thank You El Shaddai, for the comfort only You can provide. Selah 😌😌😌😇👸🏽

🕊️The Pain that comes with going No contact {Abuse Awareness}

Link to my YouTube https://youtu.be/qZGI5jkKiQQ

After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.

Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside.  When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement.  They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.

Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:

  • You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
  • To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
  • If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
  • Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.

They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!

FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!

If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

God is Healing 🕊️

I almost had a relapse today. I thought about all the things I went through in my childhood and how abuse made me feel so dissociated with reality. I knew this was an attack from the enemy I must be close to something that God has in store for me, and that’s my healing. People who grow up in abuse or those who become entangled in abuse often struggle with identity crisis, and most if not all tend to think that God has forgotten about them. Today I was honest with Jesus, and I told Him how I felt. How long does it take to heal? Is healing a everyday process? I am starting to believe it is everyday I must seek to be renewed and not conformed to the world, and also not letting my past dictate me.

I will stand on His Word, I will be unafraid. I’m tired of being flaky I understand now that my flakiness is a result of the trauma that I went through in my childhood. It causes me not to trust easily, it causes me to run from everyone including my Creator it leaves me with permanent fig leaves that I want removed. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of hurting. I just want You Lord to Heal me I just want to be grounded in You and Your Love. Please Lord be my Yahweh Rapha, I know you will only be if I allow you too. Remove these fig leaves from me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.{♥}

I chose to stand on this, In Jesus Christ name AMEN!

Reflecting on me going no contact from my family: Reasons you should too. [My Testimony included]

This Spring made three years of me going no contact with my family that includes everyone in my family I remember that day in Spring in 2017 I had just gotten out of a psych ward (that my mother helped put me in) when we returned home my husband and I had no money, and little food I also lost my job during this time. I was left dealing with pieces of my broken, and unstable spirit I felt betrayed, alone, and unloved on many levels I also got the answer to the question that often plagued my mind my whole childhood “Does my mother love me?” I knew after this experience that if she didn’t truly hate me she sure acted the part that’s when reality sinked in.

Before going no contact I was on a roller-coaster trying to decipher truth from lies I was a smoker, and a marijuana addict who sometimes dabbled in alcoholism trying so hard to blend into a family that seemed to do me more harm than good. I was trying so hard to heal that broken, and abused girl in the best way I knew how with fleshly desires she had so much trauma that she figured God could never love her.

In 2017, I suffered a major demonic attack as I’m typing this message I’m sure you are facing something too, we all are but during this time in 2017 I seen demonic things, heard demonic things, and I seen the depth of how lost and demonically controlled my family was how much hatred my mother actually held for me and how much resentment she really had towards me (for no reason). I understand now that it was just a cover up for how jealous she was of me my family exploited me, abandoned me, had others laughing and mocking me. I even walked in on her calling the hospital to come get me and pick me up to take me away.

I felt scared, and confused my mother claimed she knew Jesus but after this experience I seen how far away from the truth she actually was. She had no truth her conscious was seared with a hot iron her and everyone else in my family they were like anchors keeping me under water not allowing me to float to the top in order to keep from drowning. Three years. The breaking point for me was when I got out of the mental institution( a hotbed for demonic activity different story, different day) my family never called, never checked up on me NO ONE CARED I felt so alone and ashamed going through the incident that I just experienced.

As I stated before we had nothing no money, no food, and I lost my job. So I did what any child would have done I called my mother to ask for help when she answered the phone I could hear the disgust and distain in her voice my heart was beating out of my chest (over 40.00 mind you). What started my no contact decision was when I went to go pick up the money that I wanted to borrow from her and I seen an awe inspiring look of demonic evil and hatred on her face it was like she hated the fact that she had to lend her mentally broken daughter a hand. It made me so upset how she acted like I done her something wrong in reality I was just breaking down from the years of abuse that she took me through a lot of things bubbled to the surface.

After that day in 2017 I left my family alone I changed my number shortly after I then started my journey towards Christ. I dealt with my own demons some that I let in and others that were passed to me through trauma. Going no contact has given me a feeling of liberation, and it has freed me from the chains of maternal narcissism (Jezebel family system) like many children who grow up in this type of environment you may carry around repressed anger. Little things may trigger you to go back into a child’s safe mode, self-hatred is normal for you and you will feel either resentment towards God or refuse His love on the account that you were never shown love properly or in a healthy way.

Deciding to walk away doesn’t mean your weak it just means you need to heal it just means you decide to honor Jesus correctly. Should you stay in a dysfunctional family system that is out of order and robs you of your God given purpose? A system that is against God? I am still on my healing journey I find myself some days feeling inadequate I rely on Jesus daily to take away my shame, and anger only HE can do that. This process doesn’t happen overnight but it does get better once you submit to His will over your life I deal with depression sometimes, but I praise God because NOW I know this is a trick and tool of the enemy to keep me distracted from my God given purpose, and calling the authority He gives me through Jesus Christ.

Many of us will come to this point in our spiritual walk (especially when dealing with toxic family member) that Jesus means more to you than your struggles and pain from abuse. Jesus says in Matthew 10:37-38 kjv

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

Whats your cross? Only you know that. I deal with the feelings of not having a family that loved me, not having a mother to validate me. Other vices that sometimes permeates through. But I have an advocate His name is Jesus Christ (1 John 2:2 kjv) There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus we do not praise and worship Jesus Christ based off our righteousness but His.

God knows how many tears I have cried and he knows how many you have cried also.

Psalm 56:8 8Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

The world takes up for it’s own, but God protects what is His don’t stay around and in the cycle of abuse it will only leave you feeling empty and angry at God (I struggled with that Praise God for deliverance)

Just meditate on these scriptures

1 Peter 5:7 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. [when you feel anxious]

Psalm 27:10 10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. [when you father and mother abandon you or they are abusers}

REMEMBER! The devil attacks the strongest in the bunch not the weakest

Sabbath Songs: God be Merciful, To Dedee A Sinner.🙇🏽‍♀️

Lord, the world doesn’t believe Your real

It doesn’t matter because I can feel

Change my soul, please make me whole

I want my name in the Book of Life, I long for the days where we will be without strife

Sometimes it looks so grim, somedays I feel as though I won’t win

I look to Christ , and I acknowledge His SACRIFICE what He did on the Cross

How He kept my soul from being lost

The world laughs, the world mocks a lot of people will surely rock

Every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess

I will put my trust in You because that’s BEST

Glorious King! You shall come, Let us all praise The Risen One (Christ)

Please Be Merciful to Dedee A Sinner, I trust that You Lord will make her a winner.

She will tell her story, because it’s drenched in Your glory.

Thank You Lord for Loving Me!

Praise You Christ, for staying near me.

Selah 🌸

Sabbath Songs: Volume 3 Songs to sing to Yahweh on the Sabbath

Narcissistic Mother: Can God Love Me?

My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. – 1 John 3:18 Kjv

Love. What is love? Can love be taught, or does it come naturally to people? Growing up in my abusive narcissistic household I figured love was more of a superficial thing meaning words don’t have to match actions. If I got hit accept it because I love you, if I berate you deal with it because I love you after all I’m your mother and I know what’s “best” for you. As it says in the Word “Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise). Love. What is it? Can someone explain it to me? When I was younger I at times felt a lot of guilt because I didn’t have love towards my narcissistic mother I felt ashamed at the fact that I actually resented her, and at one point I actually hated her.

I was never really shown love properly I was shown dysfunction and treated with extreme toxicity to the point that I forgot who I was before I actually knew who I was. I was more or less shown destructive treatment over trivial things that children sometimes did resulting in me sinking deeper, and deeper into myself to hide how hurt and angry I was. Beaten with belt buckles, stripped down to be beaten with extension cords, woken up to be made to sleep outside, and slapped down in front of family at family functions the list of toxicity goes on and on. As I write this tears flood my eyes, as victims of abuse we often question, and ask if God could ever love us. Can The Most High really wipe away the hurt and pain that we feel? Or is God just like my abuser? I mean what is love? Does it even exist?

I actually felt like if His love was anything like my mother’s love then I didn’t want it. When Jesus Christ was upon the earth He never told His disciples that He loved them He let His actions show that He loved them, as the old saying goes “actions speak louder than words”. Going no contact helped me understand that His love isn’t like the cheap superficial love that we get from the world. He also helped me understand that my mother had a lot of hurt in her heart, a lot of pain that she was withholding and instead of going to Christ for healing she chose to push all that pain unto a child that reminded her of herself, and that child was me. I decided that I’m not going to look at myself through the eyes of my mother anymore I am leaving that part of me in the past because being in Christ I am a new creation.

Just think about it.. How can your abuser give you something that wasn’t given to them? How can you receive comfort from someone who was only given chaos? That’s like breaking a doves wing and expecting it to fly… it’s not gonna happen. Hurt people only know how to hurt people it’s not your fault they were hurt the only hurt you can take care of is your own and the only One who can help is Christ. Can the Most High love you? Certainly! Can the Most High wash away those feeling of shame and guilt? Most definitely only if YOU LET HIM! He can love You more than your human mind can fathom, matter of fact He is the embodiment of LOVE. He even tells us how love is, and how it should be “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kjv

Trust Me, God Understands and He knows how you feel. No need to feel guilt and shame that isn’t even yours to begin with. May He comfort you on your healing journey as you walk this narrow path. Amen

Sabbath Songs: Yahweh Rapha 🌈🎁

The Elohim Who Heals

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

He takes old things and makes them new.

The Lord is my buckler, and He is my shield so I shall have no fear.

He is close to those whom He holds dear.

My soul cries out because it misses You dry my eyes Lord, I need You.

Your eyes are upon those that love You.

Your grace wraps around those that trust You.

Why fear man? When the Great I AM has a plan!

He parted the Red Sea. He came down and died for me.

So, I will dance for the Lord because He keeps me safe from harm.

Great is His power! Great is His Love! Great is the Most High God above!

Help us Lord finish the fight until the end. Strengthen us El Shaddai to understand that we win

Heal me Lord, thou art my praise! I will praise Thee until the end of my days.

  • Selah

Sabbath Songs Vol: 2 Song to sing on the Sabbath. May Christ Keep you warm. ❤

🤲🏽Ten Things I Learned while Healing from Childhood Abuse.🔟

Healing takes time, and despite what many people would like you to believe it only up to YOU to understand and conquer your own healing process. Effects from childhood trauma/abuse stays with the recipient long after the abuse was administered. Well anyways here is my list of “Ten things I learned while healing from Childhood Abuse”. May Yahweh Bless you on your healing journey.

  1. The best things in life are Christ. (He makes you free)
  2. Resting on Christ’s word is the ULTIMATE therapy in gaining healing from abuse.
  3. Being the bigger person isn’t easy but it’s worth it in the end Yahweh will only judge you based off your actions not the actions of another person.
  4. Many people won’t understand you (don’t expect them to) Yahweh understands you and that’s the only thing that matters
  5. It’s up to YOU to either break the cycle of abuse, or to keep the cycle going.
  6. Don’t let abuse make you bitter, instead opt for BETTER.
  7. Abuse makes you more aware of how truly toxic people can be and it sharpens your discernment skills as well.
  8. What people say or think about you doesn’t even matter, people who are quick to make warped judgements DO NOT KNOW YOU they certainly don’t know the struggles you have overcome.
  9. While they label, LAUGH you are STRONGER than you appear, and WISER than you seem.
  10. Good days and bad days (everyone had them) it’s up to you to push through with a smile or a frown.

This is a list that I have complied of ten things that I have learned while healing from my childhood abuse. Life happens, and it happens HARD sometimes. I found that crying out to The Most High Yahweh helps me tremendously, He gives me profound strength in this hard world. I pray my list motivates you and encourage you to see the rainbow in the sky, because after all in order to see the rainbow you must first get through the rain. ❤ May Christ comfort you all. Danyah. ❤

This is a real rainbow I seen outside my apartment.

Abuse.. Makes You or Breaks You..

I ran across a Chinese proverb it said,” After all, harming others means you first harm yourself”, when I read this it struck a cord with me because I am a vict(or)im of abuse. I am going on three years no contact with my family, and at this point in my journey I am on a path of understanding, and discarding all the negative memories that are embedded into me. Some days are okay, but a lot of days are great they are great because I am discovering the person I was before the abuse began. If you ever met anyone who was open enough to tell you about their abusive childhood they will tell you that the abused robbed them physically, mentally, emotional, and SPIRITUALLY.

My purpose wasn’t made clear to me. My abuser didn’t have a purpose that she was aware of hell, it was stripped from her so why not strip it from someone who isn’t capable to perceive what was actually going on around them? Make your victim a dumping ground for all the anger that you refuse to acknowledge is there also make them the main source of supply, because instead of getting proper healing they will instead choose to pass the baton of wickedness known as abuse. She robbed me of years but going no contact helped me see how toxic my mother was, and how demonically controlled my family is and how she really berated me to the point that I lost sight of who I was before I even became whole.

It takes some victims of abuse years before they see the light at the end of the tunnel, and decades before they leave the tunnel. I didn’t start healing until I left completely and many victims never see results in healing until they leave the toxic situations. Some days I feel lost, and other days I feel strong one thing I have learned on this path of healing is you shouldn’t judge yourself based off of how your abuser treated you. Your not dumb, your not stupid, your not evil but you were abused and it’s not your fault you won’t be held accountable for what your abuser did to you but you will be held accountable for how you let it make you. For the longest time after I stopped associating myself with my family I was bitter, I felt lost it wasn’t until I actually separated the abused me from the real me that I seen that I am loved, I am wanted, and I am adored. I didn’t need my mothers approval because she didn’t even know how to approve herself the only approval that I need to obtain is Yahweh The Most High God.

You are a survivor of abuse. You will be a conqueror of abuse. I choose to let my past strengthen me. I choose not to let the abuse that I suffered in my childhood change me as a person. I will still love. I will still encourage. I will still push forward. I will still reach for The Most High Yahweh. And I will still receive the healing that Christ gives me. Greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Until Next Time

Danyah ❤