Yahweh’s Love & Redemptive Power[My Living Testimony]

Proverbs 29:25 kjv The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe

Growing up in the type of home I grew up in a lot of things were out of order.The way God was represented was out of order instead of Him being displayed as loving and caring He was used as a tool for my abusive, and narcissistic mother. Looking back on my childhood I thought that my mother was right, and in the back of my mind I felt that she knew what she was doing I figured that maybe God did hate me and I was doomed to perish. This thinking lead me to a life of confusion, and darkness quickly flooded in growing up I was robbed of my self-worth and my self-esteem this lead to fast-paced living. You see when I was 17 my mother in one of her fits kicked me out on the streets I ended up at a homeless shelter then I was living pillar to post.

I experienced a lot when I was homeless, and was exposed to a lot that I wasn’t ready for this includes: drug use, alcoholism, violence, and fast paced sex. You know all those things the world tells you is “okay” I did these things because I was looking for something or maybe someone to love me it really is true that a child is shaped by their environment, and how you affirm them either destroys them or builds them up. It leads them toward a path of destruction or a path of victory. The devil knew what he was doing I had been attacked since I was a small girl the first time my mother beat me the breaking process started, and it just kept going downhill ever since.

One thing I have learned about Yahweh is that He is merciful and He takes care of us even when we aren’t even aware of how much darkness we are in or apart of. Only Jesus Christ can RESTORE us. Jesus Christ has delivered me from a life of drug use, alcoholism, porn addiction, masturbation, homosexuality, lying, fornication, adultery. To be honest everything that Galatians 5:19-21 tells us is a WORK OF THE FLESH you see me DEDEE I am NOT PERFECT I HAVE SINNED and I will most likely sin again this is why we must repent daily because we all fall short of the glory of God. His Word says “There is no one righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10).

If you don’t trust in Jesus, then who is your trust in?

If you don’t have hope in God, then who do you hope in?

Did you know in 2017 862,320 babies were ABORTED? Do you know God will JUDGE this Abominable thing!!! DO YOU KNOW GOD HATES HANDS THAT SHED INNOCENT BLOOD?? DO YOU KNOW THESE BABIES BLOOD CRIES OUT FOR JUSTICE???!!! DID YOU KNOW 42.4 MILLION BABIES WERE KILLED BY ABORTION IN 2019??? WHERES THE OUTRAGE OVER THIS??!!!

Yes, COVID is here but is your house in order? Are you seeking God like you should? Who can restore you? JESUS CHRIST. Who can save us? JESUS CHRIST. Who can redeem us? JESUS CHRIST. That is who I am leaning on! Not Trump, not the government, not this fallen world I place My HOPE IN EL SHADDAI!

Proverbs 29:25 kjv The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe

Time is running out folks. If you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior I suggest and highly recommend you too. Repent today, open your heart to Him. He is waiting for you with open arms He wants to be your strong tower He does not wish for any man to perish. He redeemed me and He can redeem you too. IF you LET Him. You do not want to be left unprotected during the tribulation May God have mercy on us all.

Sabbath Songs: O God, Your a WAYMAKER 🦋🌹

You are true! Your Word will not pass away

It will keep me safe during the great day

Wipe away my tears

Lord only You can take away my fears

Only with my eyes will I see the reward of the wicked

I can hold Your hand as I walk through the thicket

You give me strength! You are my shield!

You make me feel safe as I walk though the fields of life

I praise You Christ for Your precious sacrifice

Can I look into the mirror? Can I see myself?

Please Lord save me from death.

Only You can give eternal life

Only in You will I have life

I love You Yahweh! You always make a way.

Thank You Lord! Hallelujah Praise the King. My King. Our King. El Shaddai.🌹

Selah

What is this world coming too?🥺🥺😪🤔

Food for thought: You are either getting closer to Christ or you are far away from Christ. The good news is that God can forgive you for your sins just ask for forgiveness with a remorseful heart. May God Bless You. Amen ❤👑😇

In this day and age I can see that we are in the end of days. Many people do not wanna acknowledge this but even a person who is not walking in the light can see that something sinister is in the air. People are becoming more narcissistic, and the demons that plaque them they are unleashing upon others.

I meet a lot of people. And one things we all have in common is that we all feel that something is on the horizon. This can be good for some, or bad for others one thing that I try to hold onto is my faith in Jesus Christ.

That’s all you really can do is trust in the Lord. Many people don’t believe but that will not stop His promises nor will it hinder His arrival. I long for you Jesus, to be in Your Divine presence.

This world is getting worst, and if you cant see that maybe your part of the problem and not the solution.

Jesus is coming soon. The mark is coming soon. Famine and wars are coming. Where do you stand? Who do you believe in? Do you have a strong foundation in Christ??

God’s power will be seen all over the world. So whether you believe or not, you will see HIM. May God bless you all and give you Divine strength during these trying times we are close.

Happy 26th Birthday to Me 🥰🥰🥰👸🏽👑

Dear Yahweh,

Thank you for allowing me to see another year on this earth. I do not understand your plans for me but I do understand that if I am still here it is for a reason and for Your divine purposes. Life is hard and sometimes it is scary but I thank You Lord that I have You! You are a Good Shepherd and You look after and protects what’s Yours. Lord I pray that my life is filled with Your goodness and Your kindness and Divine Favor in Jesus Christ name I pray, Amen 🥰🥰😇👑👸🏽👰🏽

Happy 26th birthday Dedee ❤❤🥰👑👸🏽 Hallejuah 🥰🥰👰🏽

🕊️The Pain that comes with going No contact {Abuse Awareness}

Link to my YouTube https://youtu.be/qZGI5jkKiQQ

After three years of no contact I can honestly say that I feel the anointing of God’s healing power on me I can stand on my own two feet and I know it’s not my strength but Christ. Three years ago when I first went no contact I had just gotten out of a mental hospital undergoing demonic attacks I felt alone, scared, and I was tired of feeling the pain that came from me having my mother in my life. When I first cut communication it was like my mind was trying so desperately to manipulate me into believing that the abuse never happened, then I would have feelings of regret and loneliness. Instead of me acknowledging and accepting that I was abandoned, and abused by my family I would feel as though I was doing to them the very same things they had done to me. I would reverse it. It’s funny how we as humans can do that, it was like I was detoxing from a drug or coming down from a potent high.

Why do victims feel this way? How come after walking from an abusive situation, they feel the need to go back thinking things will change? The answer lies in our childhood one must acknowledge that the environment they grew up in was unnatural the only thing that would make sense is doing things that make no sense. Narcissistic parents train scapegoated children from a early age to cut ties with their original selves, they then mold them to be the physical manifestation of the pain, and anger that they feel on the inside.  When the picked party lashes out at the treatment that’s inflicted on them the whole family stares “in shock”, and amazement.  They are the only brave ones willing to fight on the battlefield this causes the narcissistic parent(abuser) to always seek out ways to keep the picked party “in their place” by using mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse measures.

Things the Victim (Victor) should reflect upon while going no contact:

  • You have been brainwashed into believing that you are the reason why you are being abused and treated unfairly.
  • To not feel pain after going no contact the victor needs to understand that they need healing and to have successful healing they must leave the toxic environment completely.
  • If they cannot leave the toxic environment the victor must start renewing their minds with what the Word of God says about them, and who they are. They must also understand that the narcissistic parent is spiritually sick.
  • Realize that what the abuser says about you doesn’t define you, it just shows that the abuser is intimidated by you.

They will rise because they are HEALED BY GOD, they are victors leading other victims free! CALL ON YAHWEH RAPHA TO HEAL YOU!

FIND YOUR PASSION AFTER THE PAIN OF GOING NO CONTACT!

If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.

John 8:36

God is Healing 🕊️

I almost had a relapse today. I thought about all the things I went through in my childhood and how abuse made me feel so dissociated with reality. I knew this was an attack from the enemy I must be close to something that God has in store for me, and that’s my healing. People who grow up in abuse or those who become entangled in abuse often struggle with identity crisis, and most if not all tend to think that God has forgotten about them. Today I was honest with Jesus, and I told Him how I felt. How long does it take to heal? Is healing a everyday process? I am starting to believe it is everyday I must seek to be renewed and not conformed to the world, and also not letting my past dictate me.

I will stand on His Word, I will be unafraid. I’m tired of being flaky I understand now that my flakiness is a result of the trauma that I went through in my childhood. It causes me not to trust easily, it causes me to run from everyone including my Creator it leaves me with permanent fig leaves that I want removed. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of hurting. I just want You Lord to Heal me I just want to be grounded in You and Your Love. Please Lord be my Yahweh Rapha, I know you will only be if I allow you too. Remove these fig leaves from me. Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.{♥}

I chose to stand on this, In Jesus Christ name AMEN!

Reflecting on me going no contact from my family: Reasons you should too. [My Testimony included]

This Spring made three years of me going no contact with my family that includes everyone in my family I remember that day in Spring in 2017 I had just gotten out of a psych ward (that my mother helped put me in) when we returned home my husband and I had no money, and little food I also lost my job during this time. I was left dealing with pieces of my broken, and unstable spirit I felt betrayed, alone, and unloved on many levels I also got the answer to the question that often plagued my mind my whole childhood “Does my mother love me?” I knew after this experience that if she didn’t truly hate me she sure acted the part that’s when reality sinked in.

Before going no contact I was on a roller-coaster trying to decipher truth from lies I was a smoker, and a marijuana addict who sometimes dabbled in alcoholism trying so hard to blend into a family that seemed to do me more harm than good. I was trying so hard to heal that broken, and abused girl in the best way I knew how with fleshly desires she had so much trauma that she figured God could never love her.

In 2017, I suffered a major demonic attack as I’m typing this message I’m sure you are facing something too, we all are but during this time in 2017 I seen demonic things, heard demonic things, and I seen the depth of how lost and demonically controlled my family was how much hatred my mother actually held for me and how much resentment she really had towards me (for no reason). I understand now that it was just a cover up for how jealous she was of me my family exploited me, abandoned me, had others laughing and mocking me. I even walked in on her calling the hospital to come get me and pick me up to take me away.

I felt scared, and confused my mother claimed she knew Jesus but after this experience I seen how far away from the truth she actually was. She had no truth her conscious was seared with a hot iron her and everyone else in my family they were like anchors keeping me under water not allowing me to float to the top in order to keep from drowning. Three years. The breaking point for me was when I got out of the mental institution( a hotbed for demonic activity different story, different day) my family never called, never checked up on me NO ONE CARED I felt so alone and ashamed going through the incident that I just experienced.

As I stated before we had nothing no money, no food, and I lost my job. So I did what any child would have done I called my mother to ask for help when she answered the phone I could hear the disgust and distain in her voice my heart was beating out of my chest (over 40.00 mind you). What started my no contact decision was when I went to go pick up the money that I wanted to borrow from her and I seen an awe inspiring look of demonic evil and hatred on her face it was like she hated the fact that she had to lend her mentally broken daughter a hand. It made me so upset how she acted like I done her something wrong in reality I was just breaking down from the years of abuse that she took me through a lot of things bubbled to the surface.

After that day in 2017 I left my family alone I changed my number shortly after I then started my journey towards Christ. I dealt with my own demons some that I let in and others that were passed to me through trauma. Going no contact has given me a feeling of liberation, and it has freed me from the chains of maternal narcissism (Jezebel family system) like many children who grow up in this type of environment you may carry around repressed anger. Little things may trigger you to go back into a child’s safe mode, self-hatred is normal for you and you will feel either resentment towards God or refuse His love on the account that you were never shown love properly or in a healthy way.

Deciding to walk away doesn’t mean your weak it just means you need to heal it just means you decide to honor Jesus correctly. Should you stay in a dysfunctional family system that is out of order and robs you of your God given purpose? A system that is against God? I am still on my healing journey I find myself some days feeling inadequate I rely on Jesus daily to take away my shame, and anger only HE can do that. This process doesn’t happen overnight but it does get better once you submit to His will over your life I deal with depression sometimes, but I praise God because NOW I know this is a trick and tool of the enemy to keep me distracted from my God given purpose, and calling the authority He gives me through Jesus Christ.

Many of us will come to this point in our spiritual walk (especially when dealing with toxic family member) that Jesus means more to you than your struggles and pain from abuse. Jesus says in Matthew 10:37-38 kjv

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

Whats your cross? Only you know that. I deal with the feelings of not having a family that loved me, not having a mother to validate me. Other vices that sometimes permeates through. But I have an advocate His name is Jesus Christ (1 John 2:2 kjv) There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus we do not praise and worship Jesus Christ based off our righteousness but His.

God knows how many tears I have cried and he knows how many you have cried also.

Psalm 56:8 8Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

The world takes up for it’s own, but God protects what is His don’t stay around and in the cycle of abuse it will only leave you feeling empty and angry at God (I struggled with that Praise God for deliverance)

Just meditate on these scriptures

1 Peter 5:7 7Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. [when you feel anxious]

Psalm 27:10 10When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. [when you father and mother abandon you or they are abusers}

REMEMBER! The devil attacks the strongest in the bunch not the weakest

Hey Beautiful people!! I’m Talking to You!!! Yes I am YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED! For the beauty minded folk ONLY🌺😘

Hey!!! Beautiful people its me Danyah Im UBER excited! you may ask why(or you probably don’t care) Doesn’t matter to me I will tell you anyways. I just launched another youtube channel you can find me under DivinelyDelivered DanYah, on my new channel I will be going more in depth about the abuse, and trauma I went through at the hands of my narcissistic family. I will open up about my life and the daily struggles I go through as I walk on my healing path to recovery from this toxic abuse. I will go more in depth about the abuse I suffered at the hands of my abusive mother. Matter of Fact I just uploaded my first video. (Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, Subscribe, Like & Share)

My Youtube channel will be for anyone who seeks healing, and answers from narcissistic abuse. Any one looking for clarification, or even the curious minded person who wants a look inside of Danyah’s Head Lol

Have a Blessed Day!!! Ciao Until Next time Check out my Youtube channel DivinelyDelivered DanYah I just uploaded a video titled How I Survived My Abusive Narcissistic Mother(The Story, Gods Glory && My Testimony)

Thank you beautiful Human for reading this 🌺

Guest Post! ZiFi(Things I Wish People Understood About Growing Up With A Narcissistic Mother)

Disclaimer: This blog post is a guest post from one of my networking buddies, Her name is Zifi and at the bottom is her contact info. If you love the way she writes Follow Her Blog!!! Thanks , Danyah “Dee”

Growing up with a narcissistic Mother is a defining experience. It influences decision-making throughout a lifetime, whether consciously or unconsciously. Explaining the impact of growing up with this family dynamic to someone who experienced love as a child is beyond complicated. These are a few things that I wish people understood.

Trust used to come naturally to me. However, once in recovery I had to begin questioning everything. No longer can I afford to take people at face value. Please do not take this personally. I question everything, because the things that were supposed to be a given in life were not what they seemed to be.

The person you saw and experienced was not who she really was. Just because you did not see the abuse, does not mean it did not happen. I was born to supply her with narcissistic supply. When the world did not treat her in the way she desired, she took that narcissistic supply from me in whatever way she deemed necessary.

Getting to the point of realizing and admitting to the experience of narcissistic abuse was a journey that made me question every part of myself. Please do not discount this journey. No one wants to admit their own Mother did not love them.

Loving someone without empathy or a conscious was a soul eroding experience. Choosing to hold onto my heart and empathy was the most painful choice I have ever made. My emotional spectrum is a conscious choice I paid greatly for.

I have been guilted into giving my original abuser the benefit of the doubt by society for a lifetime. The world does not like to believe women can have narcissistic and sociopathic traits, especially towards their own children. Not all women who have children are Mothers.

The experience of having a narcissistic Mother creates some of the strongest individuals in this world. We have experienced the evil of the world and rejected it by consciously choosing not to join them. One day I hope the world will understand this experience better. However, until then please honor the experience and feelings of those of us who grew up without love, but found the strength to stand up for what we truly deserve.

By ZiFI

www.YouDeserveToHeal.com