I can’t believe it’s been 2 years on my blog! Praise The Most High God in Heaven!! When I started my blog two years ago I never thought that I would have stuck with it for so long I have grown to love blogging, and telling my story of healing from abuse as a child. It is so funny how much can be accomplished when you decide to put it in the hands of The Most High when you decide to trust Christ and move forward in His will and His Light and love.
I am more than a CONQUEROR! I don’t just say this but I believe it also. Yahweh encourages me so I will encourage you. He loves me so I love you too. Thank you for following my Blog and being apart of this journey may Yah bless you and guide you in Christ name I pray. Amen 🙏🏽
Isaiah 61:3 -To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
Ecclesiasticus 4:21-22 For there is a shame that bringeth sin; and there is a shame which is glory and grace. 21 Accept no person against thy soul, and let not the reverence of any man cause thee to fall.”
Guilt can manifest in many different ways. Guilt is defined as a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, or wrongdoing whether real or imagined. In this blog post I wanted to talk about why victims of abuse feel guilty after abuse in this post I will talk about reasons based off my personal experiences with abuse and trauma. Everyone is different, and we all process life and experiences differently I believe by sharing our outlook, and testimonies we can help others heal and motivate them to seek a meaningful relationship with Yeshua who is the ULTIMATE healer and deliverer. ❤
I recall in my childhood how I always felt guilty. I felt alone. I lacked confidence. I often felt ashamed. Going on four years of no contact I understand all too well the pains, and perils of feeling guilt if a child is not raised in a household that centers around Yahweh’s love and Words then the house will quickly become a den for demons. My guilt arose every time someone asked about my mother, and when I replied that we were estranged they would rise up quickly to dish out their semantics of how “life is too short”, and that “you only get one mother” and the famous line “Honor thy mother and father” people are quick to downplay the abuse that was inflicted and are more than willing to make you feel guilty even though they do not know you, or the abuser that they are taking up for.
Guilt would always come rushing in time, and time again I would let people who didn’t even know me and the horrors that I endured at the hands of my mother dictate how I should view the abusive relationship. Because after all it wasn’t abuse it was “love” that hurt it was “love” that left me in a former shell of myself hating not only myself, but also the abuser who inflicted the pain and torment upon me. As time went on after going no contact and forming my OWN relationship with Yahweh Rapha I had to reprogram the way I saw not only Him, but how I also looked at myself I grew to understand that people are quick to speak on topics that they have little or no knowledge on. As survivors of abuse we have to not let what others say get to us, after all it’s easy to speak on something when you don’t have first hand experience on the issue at hand.
I felt guilty because I left instead of staying. My guilt arose from not sticking it out maybe things were gonna get better surely my mother loved me she just had a demonic way of showing her love for me. Guilty that I wasn’t loved properly. Guilty that I couldn’t make my mother love me. Guilty that I didn’t even have a connection to my mother was something wrong with me? My guilt arose because I didn’t live up to societies standards of family, and how you should stick by them NO MATTER WHAT. My guilt arose because I chose to walk away from all of them rather than stay and keep silent on the suffering that I was experiencing if I would have stayed no doubt I would have been a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I felt guilty because I didn’t wanna give my abusive mother the worship, and praise that she required of me I chose to give it to Christ My Adonai I felt disconnected from my mother and I felt like I had to work for her love rather than receive it naturally. I looked at her like my enemy rather than the one who nurtured, and cared for me my guilt came when I tried but nothing ever worked I tried to repair a burned bridge, but I felt like in order for that bridge to be built I would have to DIE for it to be repaired.
Jeremiah 12:6 For even thy brethren, and the house of thy father, even they have dealt treacherously with thee; yea, they have called a multitude after thee: believe them not, though they speak fair words unto thee.
My guilt left when I began to understand that Yahweh called me out of my broken family system for a reason. My purpose is to let others know that it is okay to cry, and that Yahweh sees what they have done to you. It is not your fault that you were born into a damaged family, you were only targeted because you are the strongest one in the family system. You are the truth teller, you are the one who will shine light in the midst of the darkness. Your guilt subsides once you take acceptance towards the situation. Accept that the abuse that was afflicted upon you was unnatural. The way the abuser treats you is unnatural (parents are supposed to love children not hurt them, and patronize them). What happened to you shouldn’t have happened, we can’t stay in the past if we are trying to move towards a better future with Christ.
Luke 9:6262Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to theplow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Everyone won’t understand, and that’s okay it doesn’t mean that they are bad people they just aren’t part of your tribe. You don’t need no one to validate that harm has been done to you. The Most High KNOWS all and SEES all.It takes a strong person to acknowledge that they had abusive and unloving parents and it takes an even stronger person to bow down before Christ and ask for healing, and deliverance because a situation like this requires Divine Intervention from The Most High God in Heaven.
It’s hurtful when the ones who are supposed to love you the most hurt you the most. It’s confusing, and troubling when the ones who are supposed to nurture you abandon you. Once you let go of false guilt (that comes from the devil) you will have no problem telling your testimony, and you won’t care if people believe you or not. Did I want to leave? No, but 4 years ago I felt that it was the only choice that I had and if I would have stayed would I be the same individual now? I highly doubt it.
Don’t worry Yeshua knows our struggles, and knows what you have been through. Don’t play limitations on His abilities. There is GLORY in your STORY. So tell it, share it, and most importantly bear it.
Paypal: (only if you feel led to): paypal.me/DanYahDedee
You realize they use scripture as a weapon and often MISQUOTE IT to make you submit to their evils. Everything they say and do goes against the Word of God and when you do point this out to them, they take it as your trying to be “holier than thou”, or that you think you are better than them. The Word allows you to see through them and they do not like that. (Example: They are QUICK to throw up the 17-year-old you when you are 32… or they tell you that since you are not honoring them you will die early, but they leave out how parents should not provoke their children to anger)
When you need help you are often ignored, mistreated, or made to feel like a burden you are often the one who gets called upon when others need assistance. Your help is always wanted if not EXPECTED. (Your questions and concerns often get dismissed as useless complaints.)
Dealing with your toxic mother, father, siblings etc. takes more out of you than you can bear you often have a pensive attitude towards them. (Pensive definition- feeling sad while deep in thought) You often question yourself as to why your family treats you so bad, when you really do not do anything that contributes to their abuse questions turn into tears that fall down your face.
When you have approached your family members about the toxicity, and dysfunction they sweep it under the rug, and downplay your concerns they typically take up for the abuser(s) and throw them a pity party to make your feel stupid for even questioning their evil.
The more you think about your childhood, the more you realize that you were set up for failure. Family prized demoralized behavior, and worshipped abuse under the guise of love. You were not taught about real world values to help you succeed as an adult.
When you try to get your life right (Examples: Getting closer to Yahweh, getting off drugs, going to school, eating right and working out, getting married and starting a family etc.) They do all they can to destroy any ounce of positivity in your life it is like they sit back and devise plans to destroy your happiness they frown on you making righteous decisions ESPECIALLY if you are moving into a direction where you will NO LONGER be dependent on them. (Which leads me to number 7)
They want you to be dependent on them so that they can control you, and the moment when you show any ounce of independence instead of being happy for you (like any healthy person would be) they do all they can to destroy your progress. (Examples: telling you that you will fail, cursing you (my mother did this to me), starting fights with you, turning people against you with lies and speculation)
They do not want you to grow, and when you do show signs of growing, they have no problem showing you how jealous and envious they are of you. (All the while making comments about how they are not jealous of you)
As you get older you start to realize that they do not know you at all. They take more from you than they give. Your kindness is often mistaken for weakness, and love is replaced with angst. (Angst- a feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or insecurity.)
They never take accountability for their behavior, they never own up to their mistakes, and they are quick to blame YOU for the pain that they afflicted on you. **WARNING- THIS IS A MANIPULATION TACTIC STRONG WITCHCRAFT. (Example: When I was 17 my mother kicked me out on the street, and I was living in a homeless shelter (that she dropped me off too) she would always tell me that it was my fault that she kicked me out and she had to do it because I was destroying her home, I would then feel bad, and apologize along with blaming myself for being homeless.)
I just uploaded another video on Youtube. Come Check it out. I also want to do my first live stream where I talk about the abuse that I survived. I’ll let you all know when I will have my first live stream so that you all can come chat with me.
We are in the End Times. And we have a lack of love during these times, many people have waxed cold due to them not having a fear of the Most High God. They lack understanding, and they simply do not care that His wrath is coming.
What can we do? Be a light that shine amongst the darkness. Don’t let your past change you! Let Yah’s future claim you we are more than conquerors. I have learned that this world is full of darkness, but it’s how you choose to maneuver that gets you through it. Don’t let what others do to you change the way you feel about yourself. At the end of the day you will stand in judgement before El Shaddai not this world this world WON’T last, but His Word LASTES FORVER.
Many people are hollowed out vessels for the enemy. That’s why they can be used at will, and many times you are not even talking to the soul (person) that The Most High created but the demons that are holding the person captive.
I am learning a lot during these times. We must not let the small things sweat us. We MUST go to Christ to understand out true identity in Him and HIM only DO NOT let the world dictate you or captivate you and PLEASE DON’T let it change you.
We are set apart. We are called. We are Chosen. And we are loved more than we can possibly know and NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT FROM US. 🥰🥰🥰
Email me: Divinelydelivered30@gmail.com
Thanks for all of your support. May Christ Keep you and Bless you!
Life is so fragile, and the world is sometimes so cold. I have learned a lot during this time. Materials mean nothing, and the love of strangers comes as a reminder of God’s unrequited love for us. I’m on the road to something new, something BIG something that I have NEVER experienced before I’m both nervous, and excited.
We as humans are always nervous when it comes time to embrace the new. Sometimes trauma takes away our love for others, or maybe trauma helps us earn empathy towards others?
I am in shock, and in awe of God’s love for me I am never far from His sight, and He always makes sure to touch me through the kind hearts of strangers.
Thank you all for your prayers!! May God Bless you all!
(I will be back blogging, and telling my story of healing in no time. I also start work next week.)
May Yahweh Cover you all, and may His face shine upon you!
We may have found a house. We are going to apply tomorrow. I will continue to stand in faith. Keep me and my family in your prayers please! Along with all those who are affected by Hurricane Laura lots of people are out of work (including myself) please pray for us. I love you all ❤🥰🌹
2 Timothy 3:5-7 kjv 5Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.6For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,7Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
I would have to say that 95% of the people in the world are entangled in bitterness. Bitterness is described as anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly i.e resentment. Anger and bitterness goes hand in hand along with unforgiveness, and many other works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-22) our society is dominated by bitterness, and narcissism is often praised. Society pumps up over sexualization of humans, gossip, rebellion, and toxicity. Women who are bitter are often revered and pushed forth as an example for how women should be, and a lot of these women profess to know Christ but there heart is far from Him. Abusers, backstabbers, and unrighteous we as followers of Christ MUST be able to judge a tree by it’s fruit even though a person may claim to believe in Jesus does the person’s actions follow? ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
The Bible warns that these types of women are silly women who are taken into captivity (weighed down by the burden of their sins) and lead away by evil temptations. Always learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. The Bible tells us to stay away from these types of people. The Book of Proverbs which was written by Solomon a book of perceived truth based on common sense and experience in life talks a lot about these wicked women, and how we as righteous people should avoid them at ALL costs.
In Proverbs 5:6 it tells us that her ways are movable (crooked) she will never be straight up with you because she does not think seriously about the path of life, and thou canst not know them meaning hanging with her you never know where the path leads or what trouble is around the corner. There is always drama, and confusion in her midst she is a roaring lion seeking whom she can devour her feet go to death, and her steps take hold of hell.
The bitter woman always preys on the strong the weak are merely used as pawns to get her will done to help her cultivate her wickedness (flying monkeys ring a bell?). They are intimidated by the confidence that a strong individuals wields, and the beauty that their pure soul radiates. They make it a goal to dominate, disintegrate, and to dissimilate the character of an individual that is walking in the Light the freedom that we display terrifies, and vexes their spirit.
Proverbs 14:1 says ” A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands”
Women like this are normally their own worst enemy , yet they do not know it they tear down their own spouses, children, and friends (if they have any) co workers she then blames them when they get as far away from her as possible, and accountability is nowhere in her actions saying sorry is never on her lips.
She comes across as sweet with her slick manipulations, but in the end she is as bitter as poison and as dangerous as a double-edged sword. ( Proverbs 5:4) The bitter woman cannot be TRUSTED she isn’t even loyal to herself you can tell by her actions, and the words she speaks of others. Histrionic, and cruel. Cold, and disheveled is the bitter woman. She has a form of godliness (religion), but denies His power by the evil works she puts forth.
Gossip is a big hallmark for these bitter women they are always in someone’s business, or fishing for yours. It tells us in the Bible to not be deceived evil communications corrupt good manners. (1 Corinthians 15:33)
By the grace of God, and His GIFT of discernment I can easily spot the signs of a woman who needs deliverance, and those women who are in bondage. Growing up in an abusive household has also given me some leverage. The facial expressions always give them away they barely smile and their expressions is left in a twisted countenance of hatred. They are often times loud, and simple knowing nothing (Proverbs 9:13).
ECCLESIASTICUS 25:17 KJV “The wickedness of a woman changeth her face, and darkeneth her countenance like sackcloth.
God says they are counted as dogs (Ecc 26:25).
A bitter woman marks a woman ruled by disappointment, and defeat. She has ALOT of emotional baggage that must be given to God in order for her to become whole. A broken woman seeks to break others, and they seek to rob others of their peace, joy, and security in the Lord.
Jesus tells us in Mark 12:31 Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.
People only treat you, how they treat themselves you shouldn’t be surprised that many people do not love themselves. If they have no love for themselves how can they love another? How can they claim to love Yahweh when they don’t display love to others or themselves? Out of a mans heart flows the issues of life. Jesus shows us a full representation of what love truly is, and He didn’t say it. HE DISPLAYED IT through acts.
So, the next time you run into a bitter woman remember to remain in the Light and to be an example of God’s goodness and display His love to these individuals. Bitter people can’t be happy for you because they are disgusted with themselves. Bitterness is the mark of one who feels that God has “forgotten” them. So pray for them, don’t get ugly with them after all we all were once bitter before Christ redeemed us.
1 Peter 2:5 (kjv)- Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.
So many times during my life I have often questioned why I felt different, and why I just felt as though I didn’t belong even when I was a little girl I felt as though I was homesick, and my childhood home was just a place of temporary residency. It wasn’t until recently that I came upon the knowledge of who I actually was, so many times people call those who believe in Jesus Christ (Yeshua) “Chosen”, but what does that actually mean?
As followers of Christ we are LIVING STONES we are all of the following:
Able to stand firm during the trials of life
We are like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river (Jeremiah 17:8 KJV). We are not bothered when the heat (trials) comes, and we always bear fruit (spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ) never anxious in the year of a drought (when speaking about the Word is not considered cool). We tell our testimony, that is one of the greatest weapons against the enemy (Rev. 12:11 kjv) We proclaim God’s goodness, and we live off of His Mercy His Mercy endures forever (Psalms 136).
We are Chosen by Jesus to bear fruit for God (John 15:16 kjv)
John 15:16 Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
We are called and chosen to be a HOLY and SET APART people to God. Proclaiming His coming and letting out light shine before men so that they can glorify Him which is in Heaven. (Matthew 5:16)
To the world we are a stumbling blocks, but to the Church we are living steppingstones being used by Christ to help others go deeper in God. We are walking, living, breathing stones. STRONG. HUMBLE. BEAUTIFUL. A masterpiece created in the image of Jesus Christ (Eph. 2:10)
Ephesians 2:10 (kjv) – For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
Or, are you just dead weight? Are you bringing forth fruit? Do you witness to those who aren’t believers? Do you spread your love for God or do you hide your light? Jesus says in Matthew 5:14-16 14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[a] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Sin causes you to be DEAD WEIGHT. When a person is dead weight they are operating in darkness and the only works they can produce are dead works.
Romans 8:6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,
Many times, when a person becomes born again, those who are perishing mock, and ridicule them they often trivialize the persons walk and they make God into an image of an corruptible God. Men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are hid in the dark.
John 1:5 kjv And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
Being alive is hard but dying is easy. What are you doing with the life that God has given you? Are you helping or hurting? Do you have others in your life that is causing you more harm than help? If so, CUT THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE they are just dead weight. Dead weight puts a heavy burden upon your shoulders if a person is not building you up, they are only keeping you down.
In Hebrews 12:1 Paul tells us “Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us”.
So, analyze yourself… Are you becoming a Living Stone, or are you just dead weight? Do you have dead weights around you, if so LAY IT ASIDE. Get rid of everything, and everyone who does not uplift you. Stay away from things that can easily beset you. Now is the time that we must seek God while He can be found, now is the time to witness to people who do not know Jesus! Share your testimony you never know who you will pull out the fire. Thank you for reading may Yahweh Bless You and Keep you on your journey of truth and righteousness.
“And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.”