As a abuse survivor I have learned these two things: 1.) That healing is a journey that no one can help you with except Christ, and YOU ALONE must venture on this journey ALONE (with Christ of course.) and 2.)That if you do not get healing from your abuse it can lead you to be filled with bitterness, and resentment not only for your abuser, but you will also resent others who when you tell them your story they quickly shut you out and tell you to get over your abuse without them trying to understand why you feel the way you feel. So what does this mean, and why should healing be important to a abuse victim/survivor? It is important to point out that The Most High God in Heaven never intended for children to be abused let alone abused by their own parents. This creates confusion in the child from a early age it creates a root of bitterness that can last well into adulthood if it is not healed properly. The victim must be willing to walk on this path alone carrying the cross that seems heavy at first, but over time provides them with power of understanding that they do have the strength to overcome through Christ Jesus.
When the Holy Spirit hit me I was in shock, I cried like the little girl I once was when He touched my heart to understand it all started to make sense. That’s when the memories came flooding back into my mind they came rushing like water that pours down from the sky on a rainy day, you know that rain that doesn’t seem to go away but somehow you get comfort in hearing it fall from the sky? Yeah, that’s what I started to experience as I asked God to reveal to me the error in not only my mother’s ways but also the error in my ways there is a scripture in the word that says”, With thy getting get understanding“.
My mother was a woman who was also abused by her mother, she was also grew up without her father or without ever knowing who he was. She was also battling the hurt of her inner child, my mother was like so many other women who come out of these childhood settings. They translate their weaknesses onto their children leaving them feeling shame and bitterness that was first felt by the original abuser the children who get a taste of the anguish never really escape the feelings that was transmitted onto them until they heal. She actually emulated to us what had been done to her the same hurts, and agonies that plagued her she simply passed them on instead of her voicing her hurt or calling out to Christ for healing she tried to pretend so desperately that everything was okay.
I hurt, and I cry a lot not only for me and not only for my mother but for all the victims of abuse that also go through this. The effects that it leaves in a victims heart leaves them plagued with loneliness, and desolation and that is just what the enemy wants for you to feel. Loneliness and traumatized without fully understanding that Christ can truly fill the void in your heart. His word says that he will give you a new heart, and that when you are in Christ you are a new creation and that is something that the enemy doesn’t want you to partake in. He doesn’t want you having the strength that God Himself ordained you to have as His Word states, “I Can Do All Things Through Christ That Strengths Me”(Philippians 4:13) and that includes having the strength to understand. One must be willing to allow the Holy Spirit to overflow in them so proper healing and mending can take place, I had to let him open my heart to gain understanding in why my mother was so abusive without feeling anger, and hurt. So the questions I have to the abuse survivor is this, Do you think that your problems are too big for Yahweh to solve? That your hurts are to great for Him to heal? Regardless of what anyone tells you the most important decision you can make as a abuse victim is to let Jesus Christ come into your heart so that proper healing can take place.
Pick one of these for yourself: Victor Vs. Victim, Pain vs. Power, Life Vs. Death, Good vs. Evil. Healing Vs Hurting. Righteousness vs. Wickness.
Choose this day what garbage you will let fill up your home. I chose to let Jesus Christ Heal my Heart, and Mind from the abuse that plagued me. He made me a Victor of childhood abuse, He broke the chains so that I will not keep the cycle going but instead I will prevent it. I am healing from not only my childhood abuse but also my mothers childhood abuse. I have forgiven because I know that I have God’s Glory in my story and with that I will say Amen.